McMansion & Wife/Quotes
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- Marge: We have to meet the new neighbors before they hear about us from the old neighbors.
- Homer: Hey, I have friends in this neighborhood. There's the guy whose lawn I used as a shortcut, the guy whose mailbox crashed into our car, and Mrs. Bad Halloween candy.
- Bad Halloween candy lady: If my candy is so bad, why you take so much of it?
- Thayer Blackburn: Love this town. Can't believe it has three Lard Lad locations.
- Chief Wiggum: Uh, one of those is police only, so back off, pal.
- Thayer: Whoa-ho, that's quite a grip.
- Homer: See, Marge? Strangling the boy has paid off. Just kidding. I don't do that anymore. Times have changed.
- Beyond Bullying professor: My presentations have made bullies worse in every school. We hoped this time would be different.
- Homer: You probably couldn't tell, but I've never played before.
- Thayer: I, um...
- Homer: Hold on.
- Thayer: All right, I started to suspect when you tried to eat the pickleball, Homer.
- Homer: Nothing should be named food that isn't food.
- Homer: I hate phonies. At least I pretend to because I think it's cool.
- Thayer: Are you ready for the ride of your life?
- Homer: I was born ready. Then I lost interest for a long time. But I'm ready now.
- Lou: Hey, Chief, aren't you gonna pull him over?
- Chief Wiggum: Really? In this Dodge Charger with 260,000 miles? With a catalytic converter that's being stolen as we speak?
- Snake Jailbird: Gotcha.
- Kirk Van Houten: Why aren't we friends like that? Is it because you're a doctor and I'm out of work?
- Dr. Hibbert: No, it's because we're not even dining together. You just slid your table closer to us.
- Kindergartner: Give me your lunch money.
- Bart: Why do you need lunch money? You guys go home for lunch.
- Kindergartner: We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the easy way. That's it. We're kindergartners.
- Gil Gunderson: Aw, I used to have a pen, but my wife got it in the divorce.
- Hubert Wong: Lisa Simpson. It's on. Nerdo y nerdo.
- Lisa: It's nerdo a nerdo.
- Hubert: Only a nerdo would know that.
- Lisa: A nerda! And it is on.
- Jebediah Springfield: Eh, we better stop here 'cause the horses are dead. Spring, field? We'll call it Fieldspring.
