Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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501
"Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart"
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- Lisa: It's time to start your annual mad dash around town to get her a present that's not completely insulting.
- Bart: [referring to Swapper Jack's] It's like going to Hawaii without the murderous locals!
- Nelson Muntz: [holding a cigarette] You sell cigarettes to kids.
- Apu: I have also considered you cash given cows to be my friends.
- Apu: Convienence forever! Freshness never!
- Paula Paul: Y'know, while I was signing this for your wife, I just cooked up... [Homer pants excitedly] ...a great idea!
- Homer: [slightly sadly] Oh.
- Bart: [referring to his present] Open mine, quick, before it suffocates!
- Homer: A pity kiss?! THAT TEARS IT!
- Homer: [checking the phone wire] Normal, normal, normal, normal, nor— UNCHARACTERISTIC!
- Homer: Awww. I mean, RAARRGH!
- Homer: No, Homer, you can't strangle a boy on his mother's birthday. Juries hate that.
- Homer: [lying in rabbit cage] This isn't comfortable at all. I don't see how a rabbit could possibly— [snores]
- Moe Szyslak: Woh, who, who, who. There's a white wine? And, what, and a Swiss cheese? And... a peanut butter? And a potato chip? And toilet paper? W-Wh-What?!
- Shepard Fairey: Hold it right there!
- Bart: The jerk in the glasses did everything!
- Bart: Hey, I got an "F" in art. Mainly so it would say "Fart" on my report card.
- Bart: ...he might realize Mr. Fatso is him.
- Homer: What the?
- Homer's brain: You idiot. Mr. Fatso is you!
- Homer: What? No! It can't be!
- Homer's brain: That's right, numbskull. Your son's made a fool of you in front of the whole town!
- Homer: Shut up! I'll fix you! [drinks a can of Duff]
- Homer's brain: Well, I'll fix you! Go drive a car!
- Homer: Yes, master. Here car, here boy!
- Bart: I wanna show you how I feel. And they a say a picture's worth a thousand words. [graffitis "I'm sorry" on the bonnet of Homer's car]
- Homer: [sadly] You just ruined my car!
- Bart: Correction: it's worth ten times as much.
- Homer: $500?! Woohoo!
- Mr. Burns: ..now, if I can get my $3,000,000 dollars dack?
- Ron English: No refunds [points at no refunds sign]
- Waylon Smithers: But he just said that the show was a sham.
- Ron English: Oh, it is, and I'm just a guy sitting at a table. The only thing that's real, is a sign that says "no refunds".
