Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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"Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson"
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- Mr. Burns: Now, they're all excellent choices, so simply pick the white male candidate you prefer and we'll elect him.
- Homer: I don't know. Can't we get Chris Christie to run?
- Mr. Burns: I don't think so.
- Chris Christie: Save me, ObamaCare!
- Homer: Yeah, maybe I'll vote Democrat. The great thing is, when they get in, they act like Republicans.
- Ted Nugent: No one's voting Democrat while I can still draw a bow.
- Homer: Ted Nugent. I made love on my honeymoon to your sweet music. You're my man!
- Nash Castor: I'm Nash Castor. Coming up, we butt heads with Ron Paul, Rand Paul, Paul Ryan and Mitt "the Wonder" Romney. But first, we're here with this guy my kid said was a thing: Homer Simpson.
- Homer: Whoo-hoo! I'm famous again!
- Nash Castor: Yes, your video has been mashed-up, Auto-Tuned, Jimmy Falloned Philippine prisonered, and occasionally even watched.
- Nash Castor: Ha! But can you save America from its last savior? Adriatica Vel Johnson.
- Adriatica Vel Johnson: Nash, in this kicked-in-the-teeth world, what we don't need is another blustering bloat bag who claims to speak for Bubba and Britney Spray-Cheese.
- Homer: Marge, do we have any more gravy?
- Marge: No, we're out.
- Homer: Why? Oh, why?!
- Marge: Homie, I'm glad you're passionate, I just hope you're not riling people up with your show.
- Homer: Oh, Marge, don't worry. People know I'm doing a character, like Stephen Colbert or Newt Gingrich.
- Carl Carlson: Is it a little weird how much he cries?
- Lenny Leonard: No way. When a guy who loves America cries, it makes him super straight.
- Homer: Dateline: Nebraska. A high school principal has decided that football is too dangerous, so he's replacing it with... soccer. Are you ready for Irish announcers with lyrical accents? "Oh, that's a lovely touch. Oh, such a beautiful form." If we lose football, we lose the blitz, cheerleaders, Rudys, Ochocincos, something for fat kids to play. Ochocincos.
- Air Springfield flight attendant: Sir, return to your seat.
- Homer: But I have to go to the bathroom!
- Air Springfield flight attendant: You should have thought of that before you drank the fluids you need to live.
