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A Fish Called Selma/Quotes

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Season 7 Episode Quotes
146 "The Day the Violence Died"
"A Fish Called Selma"
"Bart on the Road" 148

Lisa: Dad, what's a "muppet?"
Homer: Well, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but, man... So to answer your question, I don't know.

Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such films as The Greatest Story Ever Hula-ed and They Came to Burgle Carnegie Hall.

Chief Wiggum: Tell ya what—Just go down to the DMV tomorrow and try to pass that eye test. I'll tear up this ticket, but I'm uh, still gonna have to ask you for a bribe...

Dr. Hibbert: Troy McClure? I thought he disappeared after that scandal at the aquarium.
Louie: [to Fat Tony] Hey, I thought you said Troy McClure was dead.
Fat Tony: No. What I said was he sleeps with the fishes. You see...
Louie: Fat Tony, please, no! I just ate a huge plate of dingamagoo.

Troy McClure: So... working at the DMV must be very interesting.
Selma: Well... uh I think I'm getting Repetitive Stress Disorder from scratching my butt all day.

MacArthur Parker: That wholesome stuff really helps when I'm trying to find you work.
Troy McClure: You haven't found me work in 12 years.
MacArthur Parker: Oh, you! -- Jury duty is work. And listen: you keep getting seen in public with human females, and I can get you work in the entertainment industry!

Troy McClure: Hello, Selma Bouvier? It's Troy McClure. You may remember me from such dates as last night's dinner...

MacArthur Parker: Troy, Mac Parker. Ever hear of Planet of the Apes?
Troy McClure: Uh... the movie or the planet?
MacArthur Parker: The brand-new multi-million-dollar musical. And you are starring as—the human.
Troy McClure: It's the part I was born to play, baby!

Selma: Remember when we were kids, we used to dream about our ideal husbands? Who knew the dream would come true for one of us? Oh, come on. Guess which one.
Homer: I know! I know! It's Selma, right?

Marge: It was a beautiful wedding. I've never seen Selma happier.
Homer: That reminds me—Troy said something interesting last night at the bar. Apparently he doesn't really love Selma and the marriage is just a sham to help his career. Well, enough talk. Let's snuggle.

MacArthur Parker: Okay, then get this: I think they want you to play McBain's sidekick in—brace yourself—the new McBain movie!
Troy McClure: McBain's sidekick?! Hot damn! I'm going to Sea World!

Selma: Is this a sham marriage?
Troy McClure: Sure, baby. Is that a problemo?

Selma: Having a child—that's a big step.
Troy McClure: You bet it is! Think what it'll mean! Not just the McBain movie, but maybe my own fragrance... "Smellin' of Troy"!

Selma: Look, I'm sorry, a loveless marriage is one thing. We're not hurting anybody. But bringing a child into a loveless family is something I just can't do.
Troy McClure: Oh, great, we'll adopt. I'll call my agent, he'll find some kid who wants in on the deal.
Season 7 Quotes
Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part Two) Radioactive Man Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily Bart Sells His Soul Lisa the Vegetarian Treehouse of Horror VI King-Size Homer Mother Simpson Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular Marge Be Not Proud Team Homer Two Bad Neighbors Scenes from the Class Struggle in Springfield Bart the Fink Lisa the Iconoclast Homer the Smithers The Day the Violence Died A Fish Called Selma Bart on the Road 22 Short Films About Springfield Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in "The Curse of the Flying Hellfish" Much Apu About Nothing Homerpalooza Summer of 4 Ft. 2