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Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update
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Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update
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Tapped Out Quest Information
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Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Level 44 content update.
Dialogue
Pt. 1
After tapping on Database's exclamation mark
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Hello, other children. Would anyone like to see my miniature forest?
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I would be happy to make one for you for the low, low price of social interaction.
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Eh, we good. We're all busy at the moment.
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Still RAMbunctious to take a BYTE out of Honest John's and C++ what more they have?
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I used wordplay to show that I'm fun.
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Wordplay is never fun.
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Anything you learn at school – words, numbers, self-identity and how to form meaningful peer relationships – is lame.
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I like wordplay--
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FRIEND!
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Uh, thanks for your bonsai offer, Database. But while we're done with Honest John's, we've moved on to other things.
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I'm poking a hive of dying yellow jackets with a dried-up highlighter.
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And I'm leaning my rather large nose waaaay too close--
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Children, whatever time it is, it's time for school!
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So you better not be busy on one of your so-called "missions."
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School! There's no way people can avoid interacting with me once they lock the doors!
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*sigh* That did not sound good. Self-awareness brings so much misery.
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Task: "Make Database Go to School". The job takes place at Springfield Elementary and takes 6 hours. Task: "Make Children Go to School" (x8). The jobs take place at Springfield Elementary and take 6 hours.
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After starting the jobs
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So Lisa, care to do a small chemistry experiment during lunch?
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I know where they keep the Bunsen burners and the magnesium sulfate.
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I've been trying to be polite, but that doesn't seem to be working. I'm cool now, Database.
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Maybe it's because I finally know who I am. Maybe it's that most of the cool kids are still gone. Whatever the reason, I'm cool and in demand.
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So you're saying...I can be cool too?
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No, I'm not saying that.
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I was one of the first ones back in this town. And when it gets updated, I'm often the one who introduces and explains what needs to happen.
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I never got to do and say this much before! I can't risk that by associating with a noob.
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I...I can be central to a story.
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You have to face it. In life, there are minor characters and major characters.
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Some get a name. And some are just called Database.
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...
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Hey, it's not so bad. At least you're not My-Ding-a-Ling Kid.
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After finishing the tasks
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I forgot I'm in the Gifted Child program. Which in Springfield means my classes are by myself.
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Sshhh! Don't let Lisa hear you. I need her to stay in my class to raise the GPA, so I can keep my J-O-B.
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I spelled "job" correctly, right?
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Yes, Miss Hoover.
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And have tomorrow's lesson plan to me by 10pm tonight.
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I like to review it while my kelp-and-volcanic-mud facial sets.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Characters that can do the task include:
Bart, Lisa, Milhouse, Ralph, Rod, Todd, Jimbo, Kearney, Dolph, Nelson, Sherri & Terri, Martin, Uter
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Pt. 2
After tapping on Database's exclamation mark
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Hey Martin! We are like-minded types, i.e. losers, i.e. people who say i.e. -- want to hang?
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Hang? Now?
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I seem to recall wanting to "hang" once upon a more convenient hour, only to be turned aside like a Timon of Athens or other lesser work of The Bard.
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I'm sorry I didn't invite you to join Superfriends, Martin.
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The week we formed it you were a theater ponce, not a tech weenie.
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You change your interests around a lot.
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I am a general, catch-all dork-type and everyone knows it!
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Now good day, sir!
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Martin, we can be Superfriends 2.0. That's a reference to software upgrades I just thought of--
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I SAID GOOD DAY!
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Task: "Make Martin Ride a Bike". The job takes 8 hours.
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Ahhhh. Nothing restores balance to the mind like an 8 hour bike ride.
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So have you thought over Superfriends 2.0 yet? Think we got a real winner of a notion, I do.
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C'mon, Database. Take a hint. I said, "I SAID GOOD DAY" and everything.
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Oh. "Good day" means "go away." I get it now.
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In this town, people can find you and talk to you no matter where you are or they are. That is super creepy.
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Though it does explain why we have no phones.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 3
After tapping on Dolph's exclamation mark
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Hey dweebus, you look sad. If you miss the old Springfield, I can make this place seem just like it.
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Uh, your words sound like a set up to beating me up.
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What? Dolph was expressing sincere thoughts of concern.
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He started off by insulting me.
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I thought he was insinuating he'd make new Springfield seem more familiar by hitting me, as he used to do in the past.
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One: Dolph uses insults to couch his emotions. That's just how Dolph is.
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Thanks for getting me, Nelson Butt-Muntz.
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Two: We were going to suggest visiting places that were important to you in the old town, and forging a new connection with those places.
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It helps us get through the day.
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You do not get to tell me when I am expressing empathy or not, D-Base!
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You don't know me! You're not my dream journal!
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I'm sorry, Dolph, truly I am.
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We're bullies, so we don't really do apologies. By our code, there's only one way to gain forgiveness.
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I understand. Please avoid breaking my glasses, if you can.
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Whoever is in charge has yet to build an optometrist's office.
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Task: "Make Database Get Bullied". The job requires Nelson and takes 8 hours.
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I have to say, it's been nice to have a conversation. Most folks have been too busy to spend any time.
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Can you keep your mouth closed?
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We try to avoid the teeth, so we don't cut our knuckles.
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Sorry. Oops. Does saying that mean you have to hit me longer?
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Errrr. I guess.
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Oh well. Sorry to take up your time.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 4
After tapping on Nelson's exclamation mark
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If I had been asked before what body part would be sorest after pounding on a nerd, I wouldn't have said the wrists.
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But my arm wigglers are barking!
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Thanks for spending some time with me, guys.
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If you want to meet up to bully me again, I'm open.
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I feel unclean inside. I need a bikini carwash for my soul.
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Doesn't have to be a serious thing. I get you have a lot going on.
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Just when you've got no one better to pick on, you know.
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Keep your giant, creep-o head away from us, D-Base!
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You've taken the purity of hurting those weaker than you and made it seem disgusting.
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Task: "Make Database Bully Himself". The job takes 60 minutes.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 5
After tapping on Marge's exclamation mark
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Why are you walking around like a humdrum little glum bum. Did someone make fun of your glasses?
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No. What's wrong with my glasses?
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Uh... nothing.
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Nothing could be wrong with wearing Sally Jesse Raphael's binoculars. It's a flattering look.
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I bet I know something that'll pick that chin up. I'm kind of the Number One mom around here.
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Don't tell Manjula or Bernice I said that.
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All you need to succeed is to be yourself. If you're yourself, then everyone has to like you!
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That's it! That's exactly how I'll get this town to like me!
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Mom Number One does it again!
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I'm glad you let me give you some advice. The only time I get to spend guiding my children is when I walk Maggie.
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Actually, your advice was total gibberish.
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How can I be anybody but myself?
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Even if I'm uncertain or lying, that's still me. Only dimwit actors pretend to be other people.
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For the rest of us, even our pretenses are just explorations of different aspects of our personalities.
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What was useful is that what you said was totally idiotic.
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Most of what people say is totally idiotic. If they could just see that, then they'd realize they aren't superior to me.
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And then they'll be willing to be my friends!
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If this is being yourself, then you were right. That advice was terrible.
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Task: "Make Database Browse Magazines on Code". The job takes place at Crypto Barn and takes 4 hours.
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I just need to find the magazine that contains the source code for the universe.
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Let's see: Matrixweek, Matrix Illustrated, Matrix People, McSweeney's Matrix Report, Matrix & Garden...
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Eureka! EA Guide! It's just like TV Guide, only nothing like it!
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This should detail the programming language of our world, which is how I normally talk as I'm a nerd.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Pt. 6
After tapping on Database's exclamation mark
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Prof. Frink, whether you're here or not, I need to talk to you!
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Yes, my young glaven! What goofball science need caused you to seek me out?
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I'm trying to build a machine that unlocks the code of the universe, so I can make it visible to all.
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This isn't for the hacking and the malware spreading and the free donuts that lose potential corporate income?
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No. I just want to show people that they're worthless morons so they'll agree to be my friends.
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Ok. Well, that's fine.
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You get the fake technology you need from my brand-name line, sold exclusively at Honest John's Computers.
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Honest John's? They carry gloybal circuits AND moyven sprockets?
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They better.
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I didn't put my face on a display table to sell a bunch of tablets and graphing calculators.
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Task: "Make Database Nerd Out". The job takes place at Honest John's Computers and takes 24 hours. If {{{char}}} is owned: Task: "Make Prof. Frink Help Database with Crazy Science". The job takes place at Honest John's Computers and takes 24 hours.
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You've done it! Your very first cartoonishly nonsensical contraption. I'm so proud!
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Thanks. In some way, I feel I have already accomplished my goal.
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For I have made a friend in you.
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Yes, oy-um. But you can't count on me.
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I'm premium and you're regular -- it's a friendship that some cheapskates won't allow.
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Also, once you build a machine, you've got to flip the on switch.
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Even the hydrogen bomb got a test drive.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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