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Islands in the Revenue Stream
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
Islands in the Revenue Stream
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Tapped Out Quest Information
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Islands in the Revenue Stream is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Level 42 content update. It unlocks Roger Myers Jr. and the Itchy & Scratchy Studio.
Dialogue[edit]
After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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I miss the old Springfield.
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Where's the black market Vicodin? Where's the underground kangaroo fight club? I need my 'roo fights!
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Sure, I'm making lots of money. But that gets boring without morally reprehensible things to spend it on.
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Krusty, if you're jaded about being rich, there's only one solution to your spiritual crisis -- get even richer.
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Yeah, then I can buy a private island. And attach rockets to it, and blast it into space. Ah, Space Island.
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What you need is to start making new Itchy & Scratchys.
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But we've already got hundreds of them. And the characters don't change or age. What innovative stories could any writer wring out of those characters?
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From what I can tell, none.
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But it doesn't matter. No one needs to watch the new episodes.
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They just need to know they're being made and remember the old ones fondly... and voila, the brand is still relevant!
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Then you can start merchandising t-shirts and action figures, slot machines and beer... maybe even develop a freemium game!
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Would the game have to be good?
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Not at all. Just rebuild Itchy & Scratchy Studios. I promise you'll be slurping up cash pronto from that sweet IP!
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Task: "Reach Level 42 And Build the Itchy & Scratchy Studio". It takes 4 hours.
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Look out, ennui. You're about to get punched with a money fist.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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Krusty, if it isn't my favorite talking ulcer. What is it that you want from me?
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Hey, hey, Roger. I just pulled you from oblivion. You ought to be kissing my foot acne in gratitude.
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I ain't kissing your facne for nothing! You still owe me for the Picasso you destroyed!
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When I drunkenly broke into your house and got cold? What was I supposed to start a fire with... a Monet!?
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I'm not breathing in fumes from some crappy Impressionist!
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Fellas, let's put aside this fighting, and focus on our common goal -- being rich enough to feel superior to others.
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We have a simple request, Roger.
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Get your staff at I & S to develop a new batch of beloved cartoons we can turn into shoddy, sweatshop merchandise.
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Remember, not just loved, BE-loved.
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We can do that. I have the smartest, hardest working, most talented writers since... [JOKE TO COME].
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Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Writers". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 12 hours.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Well, Roger, I've given you and your staff 12 hours, give or take the use of donuts.
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That should be more than enough time for them to come up with a billion dollar franchise.
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I'm sorry, Krusty. I went into the studio, and found everyone who worked for me is gone. And by gone, I mean is now a skeleton.
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There's a lesson here: if you chain your writers to their chairs, make sure those chairs are within arms' reach of the breakroom.
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Wait. Then what have you been doing all this time?
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Caught up with my email. Your inbox really fills up when you haven't been in existence for a while.
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Oh, even more money! You were going to heal me! Now how will I ever end the numbness I feel for life?
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Task: "Make Krusty Be a Sad Clown". The job takes place at Channel 6 and takes 24 hours.
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The worst problems in the world are the ones that affect me.
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A sad clown? How very original.
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Originality is not my specialty.
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Besides, I'm not sad for me. I'm sad for the millions of viewers who'll never get to see new episodes of Itchy and Scratchy.
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I guess you haven't seen Deadline Springfield.
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What is that -- the Internet? People aren't still doing the Internet, are they?
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark
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Hey Roger Liars, which I say since Liars rhymes with your last name Myers. What's this I just read on Deadline Springfield?
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Look whose tears have dried. My good pal--
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Don't you "good pal" me! You're gonna make millions showing Itchy & Scratchy on the World Wide Whatever! And you cut me out of the deal?!
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In our last contract, you never asked for a share of new media sales. It's not my fault we signed that when the internet didn't exist.
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You backstabbing son of a backstabber!
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If it's an option in my menu, I will make it my mission to have you stored back in the inventory.
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People don't watch television anymore, Krusty.
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They receive content through smartphones, computers, tablets, and direct-to-brain downloads.
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So now some company will pay us handsomely for the opportunity to provide the entire Itchy & Scratchy catalogue via cable and internet doohickeys.
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That's how to wring the last remaining drops of cash out of an aging cartoon franchise.
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But you told me IP something something blah blah?
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I just said that to trick you into bringing back Roger. Face it, Krusty. You got Blue-Haired Lawyered.
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Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Negotiate New Media Rights". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 10 hours.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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Seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
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Roger, can you please finish signing these contracts?
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Seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
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Yes, that's how much you're going to be paid for the streaming rights for Itchy & Scratchy by the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©!
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Seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
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But you can't get anything from the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, until you sign all the contracts.
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Seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
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*sigh* Here, you hold the pen and I'll hold your hand.
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Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. "Sign" on the Dotted Line". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 2 hours.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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Look at all these tech weirdos and inter-dorks here to build the Itchy & Scratchy website.
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Finally, I've got a staff to demean and humiliate. What am I supposed to yell at them to do again?
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They're creating an advertising supported web portal.
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It's basically a Hulu devoted solely to Itchy & Scratchy where all the episodes ever produced can be viewed.
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Do whatever the lawyer just said! And do it faster! Or I'll pull out your throats and choke you with your own windpipes!
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Make a note of that visual. We could make a whole story out of it for the cat. Or the mouse. Whichever one does the violence.
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Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Web Designers". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 10 hours.
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I am here to inform you, Krusty, since the start of the I & S web portal for BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, you must cease all displays of Itchy & Scratchy licensed images.
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You're pulling Itchy & Scratchy? Please, no one watches my show to see me!
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Everyone knows I'm the one holding me back!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark
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Lis, look outside and tell me if the world blew up!
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It's still here. The world is unlikely to end by explosion though.
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The true danger is inattention and neglect as we use up our natural resources. I have seen the asteroid, and it is us.
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You're as fun as ever, sis. But now we have a real problem!
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Itchy & Scratchy was pulled from Krusty's show! This is going to make wasting time watching TV pointless.
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As the super rich get super richer, the rest of us have to accept the rules they give us. That's how the modern economy works.
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By the way, if you're smart and powerless, it's way cooler to give up and act jaded. I read that in The Economist For Kidz.
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This is unacceptable. What's the point of being kids if we can't fix problems with pluck, spunk, and ...how do we fix this?
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Well, we could round up all the kids in town and write complaint letters to Roger Myers Jr.
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This could be our civil rights movement, but instead of being about freedom from social persecution, it's about freedom to watch TV. Because freedom is now a meaningless word.
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Write letters? Would we have to use cursive? This seems too hard. Can't we just email photos of our butts?
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Anyone or any spambot can shoot off an email. But people willing to write letters, they're crazy enough to be dangerous.
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Task: "Make Kids Write Angry Letters" (x8). The jobs take place at Bart's Treehouse and take 10 hours.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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Characters that can do the task are:
Lisa, Milhouse, Bart, Martin, Nelson, Ralph, Comic Book Guy, Sherri & Terri, Dolph, Jimbo, Shauna, and Kearney
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After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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I've gotten so many thoughtful, articulate letters from our passionate fans. Intern, bring me the incinerator!
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Dear Leader Mr. Myers, sir, the incinerator broke yesterday, after you tried to burn the printer after another paper jam.
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A printer's job is to print. Not eat up all my paper!
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Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Read Hate Mail". The job takes 24 hours.
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Taking the time to personally ignore each fan letter is so fulfilling.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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Nothing better to do after the completion of a lifetime of work than proclaim some exposition.
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The Itchy & Scratchy website is ready to launch. I can finally relax.
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Think I'll treat myself by making my clothes stink of tobacco.
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Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Relax with a Cigar". The job takes place at Benches with Backs and takes 4 hours.
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Wait, if all my work is done, who am I going to yell at? There's too much risk of reprisal with waiters and concierges.
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I can try yelling at my cigar. Cigar, you better not give me mouth cancer!
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Oh no, this isn't working -- it's just defiantly blowing smoke in my face.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark
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So it's agreed. I'll get to yell at people to make new Itchy & Scratchy episodes, and Krusty will show them.
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That's all I ever wanted.
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Also, a percentage of that seven hundred and fifty million dollar new media sale would be great.
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Seven hundred and fifty million dollars...
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Krusty, the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, has offered to pay your cable bill for one year.
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They view new episodes airing on your network as the perfect advertising for their website.
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Especially since they're all owned by the same media conglomerate.
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You make it cable AND internet, and we've got a deal!
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Task: "Make Krusty Get a Piece of the Action". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Animators". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 8 hours.
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Okay, you scribbling cretins, I want you to shove amazing down my throat like I'm a French goose!
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It's nice to be home.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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