Do the Wrong Thing/Quotes
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< Do the Wrong Thing
Revision as of 07:05, February 19, 2024 by Solar Dragon (talk | contribs)
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- Kent Brockman: In local news, champion angler Abe Simpson is retiring. Yes, it's o-fish-ial. After reeling in his 20th fishing derby win, he's finally bowing trout. Later, stay tuna for a sharking story about a local sturgeon with a cod complex who kills patients just for the halibut.
- Marge: [to Homer] Whoa. It's sexy when you're on the local news for something not horrible.
- Lisa: I was hoping you'd write me a letter of recommendation.
- Principal Skinner: Recommendation letter? No one's ever asked me to write one of those before. I've mainly just done letters to judges requesting leniency.
- Milhouse Van Houten: The saga of the Oregon Trail, a poem by Milhouse Van Houten. "We started our journey to the Pacific. Because we heard that it was terrific."
- Bart: Uh, how do we cheat at rock skipping?
- Homer: I don't know. Making a plan to cheat in advance felt dishonest.
- Rock-skipping announcer: 22 skips! That's a throw worthy of the late, great Doink Anderson! Interesting fact-- he left his widow nothing.
- Marge: I'm sorry to ask this, but... Are you cheating?
- Homer: Oh, I can't lie to you. Wait, that's a lie. I can lie and I have, but I'm not going to now.
- Homer: But, Marge, you're you. You're sweet, pure, incorruptible.
- Bart: Dad, we ruined mom.
- Homer: No! No! What have I done? Other than everything I know that I did?
- Bart: Oh, this is all our fault.
- Homer: Son, we made a terrible mistake. But we can learn and do better. Let's never, ever bond again.
- Bart: You're right. Never again.
- Homer: Promise me this is the last time we hug.
- Bart: I swear, dad. I swear.
- Homer: Go ahead. Kill me. Cleave my skull. I don't deserve to live after corrupting the only good person I've ever known.
- Cletus Spuckler: I don't know about that. We was just gonna rough you up a little bit.
- Brandine Spuckler: Oh. Well, I mean, I... I guess we could kill you, but you probably need to sign a waiver or something.
- Dean Belichick: You think your application was the only one with embellishments? Look at these. This ten-year-old claims she performs open-heart surgery. This 12-year old said it was her idea to use big fat straws for boba tea. And you know what? We let them all in.
