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Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart/Quotes

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< Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart
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Season 23 Episode Quotes
500 "At Long Last Leave"
501
"Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart"
"How I Wet Your Mother" 502


Lisa: It's time to start your annual mad dash around town to get her a present that's not completely insulting.

Bart: [referring to Swapper Jack's] It's like going to Hawaii without the murderous locals!

Nelson Muntz: [holding a cigarette] You sell cigarettes to kids.

Apu: I have also considered you cash given cows to be my friends.

Apu: Convienence forever! Freshness never!

Paula Paul: Y'know, while I was signing this for your wife, I just cooked up... [Homer pants excitedly] ...a great idea!
Homer: [slightly sadly] Oh.

Bart: [referring to his present] Open mine, quick, before it suffocates!

Homer: A pity kiss?! THAT TEARS IT!

Homer: [checking the phone wire] Normal, normal, normal, normal, nor— UNCHARACTERISTIC!

Homer: Awww. I mean, RAARRGH!

Homer: No, Homer, you can't strangle a boy on his mother's birthday. Juries hate that.

Homer: [lying in rabbit cage] This isn't comfortable at all. I don't see how a rabbit could possibly— [snores]

Moe Szyslak: Woh, who, who, who. There's a white wine? And, what, and a Swiss cheese? And... a peanut butter? And a potato chip? And toilet paper? W-Wh-What?!

Shepard Fairey: Hold it right there!
Bart: The jerk in the glasses did everything!

Bart: Hey, I got an "F" in art. Mainly so it would say "Fart" on my report card.

Bart: ...he might realize Mr. Fatso is him.
Homer: What the?
Homer's brain: You idiot. Mr. Fatso is you!
Homer: What? No! It can't be!
Homer's brain: That's right, numbskull. Your son's made a fool of you in front of the whole town!
Homer: Shut up! I'll fix you! [drinks a can of Duff]
Homer's brain: Well, I'll fix you! Go drive a car!
Homer: Yes, master. Here car, here boy!

Bart: I wanna show you how I feel. And they a say a picture's worth a thousand words. [graffitis "I'm sorry" on the bonnet of Homer's car]
Homer: [sadly] You just ruined my car!
Bart: Correction: it's worth ten times as much.
Homer: $500?! Woohoo!

Mr. Burns: ..now, if I can get my $3,000,000 dollars dack?
Ron English: No refunds [points at no refunds sign]
Waylon Smithers: But he just said that the show was a sham.
Ron English: Oh, it is, and I'm just a guy sitting at a table. The only thing that's real, is a sign that says "no refunds".
Season 23 Quotes
The Falcon and the D'ohman Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts Treehouse of Horror XXII Replaceable You The Food Wife The Book Job The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants The Ten-Per-Cent Solution Holidays of Future Passed Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson The D'oh-cial Network Moe Goes from Rags to Riches The Daughter Also Rises At Long Last Leave Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart‎ How I Wet Your Mother Them, Robot Beware My Cheating Bart‎ A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again The Spy Who Learned Me Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agenda Lisa Goes Gaga