Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life/Quotes

Quotes

Season 22 Episode Quotes

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"Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life"

470

Lisa: That school is so great. Teachers teach so much better when they're paid in money and not chickens.

Bart: You punch really good

Nelson: You think?

Bart: Oh yeah and you always avoid the face around picture day. People really appreciate that.

Nelson: Hey, those memories are forever.

Bart: You really care man. A lot of bullies just phone it in. *cough* Kearney *cough*

Lisa: I'll study so hard I'll make the old me look like Bart.

Homer: That'd be one weird looking kid.

Lisa: Lord Buddha, I know I'm not supposed to want stuff, but come on!

Bart: What's your note say?

Lisa: The seven of clubs?

Homer: Tada!

Principal Skinner: You yell at me for everything.

Superintendent Chalmers: Well I cant yell at anyone else. Teachers have unions. Students have parents.

Principal Skinner: What about Willie?

Superintendent Chalmers: I like Willie.

Principal Skinner: Lisa, one of the hardest jobs I have is throwing cold water on young children's dreams. Ralph, you're not a kangaroo.

Principal Skinner: Buying trophies from those cash-strapped schools really filled out the case.

Lisa: Someday when I'm a grownup, maybe I'll go back and look fondly at our house.

Bart: Well stop in and say hi to me because I'll still be there chilling in my basement bachelor pad.

Homer: Make sure to water my backyard grave.

Bart: As long as I can dig you up and stick you on the front porch every Halloween.

Homer: Just don't dress me up as a woman.

Bart: We'll see.

Selma: What a cheap date.

Moe: I'm not cheap baby. I'm embarrassed to be seen with you. There's a big difference.

Homer: No child of mine will go without anything. Ever. Except quality health care.

Krusty: Mousy and Catsy! Aren't they great?

Homer: You can't climb into the TV. If you could, I'd make Alex Trebek answer some questions.

"Raphael": How'd he get in?

"Texxon Worker": T'aint no glass

"Raphael": Did he take any money? (the worker shrugs) He did now (strays emptiying register)

← Season 21 Season 22 Quotes Season 23 →
Elementary School Musical • Loan-a Lisa • MoneyBart • Treehouse of Horror XXI • Lisa Simpson, This Isn't Your Life • The Fool Monty • How Munched Is That Birdie in the Window? • The Fight Before Christmas • Donnie Fatso • Moms I'd Like to Forget • Flaming Moe • Homer the Father • The Blue and the Gray • Angry Dad: The Movie • The Scorpion's Tale • A Midsummer's Nice Dreams • Love Is a Many-Strangled Thing • The Great Simpsina • The Real Housewives of Fat Tony • Homer Scissorhands • 500 Keys • The Ned-liest Catch