Lisa's First Word/Quotes
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< Lisa's First Word
Revision as of 23:50, January 9, 2024 by Snowball II (talk | contribs)
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- Marge: Maggie, can you say ba-ba? Can you say Ma-ma?
- Bart: Can you say "get bent"?
- Marge: Bart!
- Bart: Mister Rogers says it all the time.
- Marge: He does not.
- Homer: Maggie, can you say "daddy"? Dad-dy?
- Marge: "Kit-ty"? "Kit-ty"?
- Lisa: "Be-bop"? "Be-bop"?
- Bart: "Shove it?" "Shove it?"
- Maggie: [burps]
- Homer: Did you hear that? She said "burlap."
- Marge: According to Fretful Mother magazine, if Maggie doesn't talk by age one, we should consider a corrective tongue extender.
- Marge: Well, this story begins in this unforgettable spring of 1983: Ms. Pac-Man struck a blow for women's rights... a young Joe Piscopo taught us how to laugh.
- Marge: Guess what, Homie... There's going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now.
- Homer: We're gonna start doin' it in the morning?
- Marge: No.
- Marge: I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger place.
- Homer: No, we won't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's crib and Bart can sleep with us until he's 21!
- Marge: Won't that warp him?
- Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
- Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
- Homer: He became Francine back in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu, now.
- Realty agent: Once you get used to the smell of melted hog fat, you'll wonder how you ever did without it.
- Homer: Mmmm. Hog fat.
- Homer: Dad, I have a problem.
- Grampa: Why'd you come to me. I don't know nothing. I used to get by on my looks. Now they're gone -- withered away like an old piece of fruit. [sobs]
- Homer: Are you done?
- Grampa: No, not yet. I was voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York.
- Homer: Dad, I don't need advice, I need $15,000 to buy a home.
- Grampa: Oh! Well, all I own is this house, that I built with my own two hands.
- Homer: You didn't build this house. You won it on a crooked '50's game show!
- Grampa: I ratted on everybody and got off scot free!
- Homer: Dad, first you gave me life, now you've given me a home for my family. I'd be honored if you came to live with us.
- Grampa: Thank you.
- [in the present]
- Bart: So, how long before you shipped Grampa off to the old folks home?
- Homer: About three weeks.
- Lisa: When are we going to get to my first word?
- Homer: Your what-what?
- Lisa: My first word.
- Homer: Eh, you don't want to hear that story. I know! I'll tell you about the time I got locked in the bank vault with Mr. Mooney. It was another one of my hair-brained schemes.
- Lisa: Dad!
- Homer: Wait a minute. That was a "Lucy" show...
- Marge: Bart, from now on, the baby sleeps in the crib.
- Bart: Crib! Crib! I'm a baby!
- Homer: All right, I know how to handle this. Just use a little reverse psychology. Let's go, Marge. Leave the baby with his little crib.
- Bart: Can't sleep... Clown'll eat me... Can't sleep... Clown'll eat me...
- Marge: Homie... I think the baby's coming.
- Homer: Wow. A baby and a free burger. Could this be the best day of my life?
- Sportscaster: Coming up next, an hour-long episode of Mama's Family.
- Homer: Yes!
- Rod Flanders: Oh boy! Liver!
- Todd Flanders: Iron helps us play!
- Dr. Hibbert: She has the reflexes of a young Mary Lou Retton. Have a wowwy-pop.
- Bart: Can I have a lolly-pop?
- Dr. Hibbert: Oh Bart, I'm afraid that was the last one. But I've got something even better for you -- a rubella inoculation.
- Bart: I liked it when it was me, Mom and Homer. You wrecked everything. I'm leaving. Goodbye.
- Lisa: Bart.
- Bart: What did you say?
- Lisa: Bart!
- Bart: Sufferin' succotash! You can talk!
- [takes Lisa downstairs]
- Bart: Mom, Dad, she can talk! Say it again, Lis.
- Lisa: Bart. Bart Bart Bart Bart Bart.
- Bart: I'm her first word!
- Marge: Lisa, can you say "Mommy"?
- Lisa: Mommy.
- Bart: Can you say "David Hasselhoff"?
- Lisa: Davah Hassahoff.
- Homer: Can you say "Daddy"?
- Lisa: Homer.
- Homer: No, sweetie. "Daddy."
- Lisa: [pauses] Homer.
- Homer: Y'know, Maggie, the sooner kids talk, the sooner they talk back. I hope you never say a word.
- Maggie: Daddy.
