Difference between revisions of "Mommie Beerest/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 17:27, March 7, 2020

Bart: Thinner... thinner... thinner... thinner... too thin. Better luck next time, "Tommy - Virginia Beach."

Homer: I've never been so embarrassed. And the worst part is, this is brunch so you've ruined two meals! I'll see you all at lupper!

Moe: When we were kids, our dads used to get drunk and make us fight each other.

Frankie: My Pop would buy me a malted for every tooth of Moe's I knocked out.

Moe: That time you blinded me, he gave you a bike. That sure was a good soundin' bike...

Health inspector: Mr. Szyslak, your tavern is rife with Health Code violations.

Moe: You gotta be kiddin' me. Like what?

Health inspector: For starters, the body of my predecessor is still on the floor.

Moe: Oh yeah. Uh well, ya see, uh trash day ain't 'til Wednesday...

Moe: Thanks, Homer. No one's ever trusted me before—except for that one guy who shouldn't have.

Homer: That was me.

Moe: Oh yeah.

Marge: Homer, those kookoo-birds at the bank goofed up and sent us a mortgage statement.

Homer: Marge! How dare you open a letter addressed to both of us?

Homer: Marge, you can't go with me to Moe's. I mean, how would you like it if I came with you to your mother's?

Marge: I would like it. You never come to my mother's.

Homer: That's because I hate her.

Moe: Whoa, whoa, whoa, now wait just a minute. One thing Moe Szyslak has never had is a partner. Nor a wife, a friend, a chum, a casual acquaintance, a pen pal, a parrot, a meaningful conversation, a brief hug or eye contact.

Homer: But I don't wanna take care of the kids... Um... how many cigars are they allowed to have? Bart sleeps in the microwave, right?

Marge: Quit playing dumb.

Homer: How many magic beans should I sell the baby for? Three? Duh, der, duh. That's me, jerk-ass Homer. Duh, der, doy.

Moe: Marge, my customers don't like themselves. Therefore, they seek the darkness.

Marge: Well... as fabulous as your regulars are, a remodel might bring in a higher class of lush.

Moe: Look, I like Moe's the way it is, all right? And I ain't changin' it for any dame, skirt, Susie-Q, or face-macer.

Judge Snyder: Pint of ale, my dear?

Lindsey Naegle: Well thank you, your honor. You know, you're kind of sexy.

Snyder: That's a deliberate mis-statement of fact. But I'll allow it.

Kent Brockman: So, Mr. Boswell. What do you think of the new Moe's?

Mr. Boswell: Marge Simpson and Moe Szyslak, here's a mash note to your bangers: I wish you could live in me forever!

Moe: Thanks, Freakazoid.

Marge: I know, I used to think of Moe as a scabby, dead-eyed hunchback. But now that I've gotten to know him, we kind of bonded.

Homer: Bonded?! How many times?

Marge: Homer, Moe and I are just work friends. You and I are... marriage friends.

Chief Wiggum: Simpson, you were going a hundred in a twenty-five zone. And you're not gonna flirt your way outta this one.

Homer: But I have to get to the airport to save my marriage!

Chief Wiggum: Really? Well, why didn't you say so? Let's roll!

Lou: You didn't work this hard to save my marriage.

Chief Wiggum: Wake up, Lou. She was way outta your league.

Marge: Homer, I made a vow on our wedding day, to stay by you—for better or worse. And besides... I love you. You're my Homie-womie-romie-domie...

Homer: And you're my Margie-wargie-bargie-fargie-gargie-margie-targie-glargie.

Moe: I may have dodged a bullet here.