Difference between revisions of "Co-Dependent's Day/Quotes"
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:'''[[Lisa]]''': Dad, I still have a couple of questions about this. Mom never drives drunk, and the crash was in your car. Also the driver's seat was adjusted for your stomach. | :'''[[Lisa]]''': Dad, I still have a couple of questions about this. Mom never drives drunk, and the crash was in your car. Also the driver's seat was adjusted for your stomach. | ||
Revision as of 05:18, April 21, 2014
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- Lisa: Dad, I still have a couple of questions about this. Mom never drives drunk, and the crash was in your car. Also the driver's seat was adjusted for your stomach.
- Homer: Lisa, Lisa your suspicions are important to me and will be answered in the order received.
- Homer: I'm in no condition to drive. Wait! I shouldn't listen to myself! I'm drunk!
- Otto: I didn't know British coal miners had it so bad! There's blood on your hands, Mrs. Thatcher!
- Homer: When I feel weak I'll draw strength from the Bible. (opens the bible and starts drinking; his stomach rumbles) Uh-oh, here comes the Gospel according to puke!
- Marge: Oh no, I'm gonna be incarcer--(hiccups), incarcer--(hiccups), I'm going to jail.
- (While Homer is on the phone with the rehab clinic)
- Homer: I can't talk to my wife for 28 days. Sir, she is not an alcoholic. You can't put me on hold, I'll put you on hold. (singing) I am a lineman for the county. (speaking) Your call is important to us. Please continue to hold. (singing) And I drive the main road. (speaking) There are…eight calls ahead of you. (singing) And the Wichita lineman is still on the li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-li-line.
- Homer: (about his book-box Bible that holds liquor) No wonder they call it the Good Book.
