Difference between revisions of "Cremains of the Day/Quotes"

Revision as of 00:44, April 29, 2024

Homer: Oh, boy, I got 100 quid on the Jag-u-ars, and I don't even know how much that is.

Carl Carlson: I'm Buffalo all the way. Ten bob, six shillings, baby.

Moe Szyslak: Get the hell out of here! All of youse! Bar's closed!

[Moe swats his barflies away with the mop, as Homer, Lenny and Carl attempt to leave]

Homer: We're leaving!

[Moe turns to Larry who was still sitting on the seat of his bar and appears to be feeling depressed.]

Moe Szyslak: You too, Slumpo! [jabs Larry with a mop but no response] Slumpo?

[Homer, Larry and Carl came back to check why Larry wasn't responding, as Moe turns the mop to the opposite side and attempts to poke him on his forehead, then his left eye which made a squishing sound, but Larry didn't respond to that either]

Carl Carlson: I don't like the sound of that squish!

[Moe pokes Larry's left eye again with the mop one more time, but to no avail. Homer realizes the worst and looks at them]

Homer: Guys, I think Larry's...

[Larry dies by collapsing down on the bar]

Homer: ...dead!

Homer: I don't know why we had to come here. Funerals are stupid. You're all excused from coming to mine.

Bart: Good. I had something that day anyway. [quietly, to Lisa] I didn't have anything that day.

Marge: I'm so glad you guys could make it.

Carl: How could we not? Larry was... around.

Reverend Lovejoy: Sorry I'm late. Uh... [quietly] Who are we doing today?

Alice Glick: A sad, balding drunk who hung out at Moe's.

Reverend Lovejoy: Got it. Homer Simpson was a beloved pillar of this community.

Iris Dalrymple: Perhaps one of you could talk about Larry's love of fishing.

Homer: Uh, uh, one time, we went to this great fishing lake. Lake Fish.

Carl: Oh, yeah. Fish Lake was full of... ...fish.

Lenny Leonard: You know who always caught the biggest fish?

Homer: Who? Who?

Lenny: I-I, uh... I want to say Larry?

Homer: [chuckles] Big Fish Larry.

Carl: Oh, yeah. Larry, indeed.

Lenny: Watch out, fish!

Moe Szyslak: What a true story.

Homer: Is it possible we're terrible people?

Marge: Yes, but the one I'm really disappointed in is... Lenny.

Lenny: What?

Marge: You just always struck me as a sensitive guy with a good heart.

Lenny: I did?

Homer: I can't go to Serenity Falls. It sounds stressful!

Marge: [grunts]

Homer: And I... love stress?

Homer: We spent a million hours with this guy, but he never felt like one of us. He was a drunk, and we're just social drinkers who also drink alone.

Carl: Two different worlds.

Moe: Here's the deal... when you croak, it's just a sad, silent void. Nothin'. And it's not even a regular nothin'. It's an absence of everything, huh? Where no matter how hard you think, you can't imagine how nothin' it is.

Homer: Like that abandoned mall where the JCPenney's is full of bears?

Moe: No.

Lenny: I'm not going to jail 'cause you two were gem smuggling.

Carl: It's worse than that, dummy. Homer and Moe weren't gonna tell us about the sapphires they found in the Larry crumbs.

Moe: I wanted to tell you, but Homer threatened to set my bar on fire.

Homer: What? You told me to keep the gems a secret, and I only listened to you because I'm highly suggestible.

Moe: No, you're not.

Homer: You're right, I'm not.

Fat Tony: Excellent work, Mickey No-Loose-Ends.

Mickey No-Loose-Ends: So what you want me to do with them?

Fat Tony: Mm, let them go. They know nothing.

Mickey No-Loose-Ends: Got it. No loose ends.

Fat Tony: Ugh, I gotta pay more attention to the nicknames when I hire these guys. Now, can you go pick up Connie at the airport, Bruno Wife-Banger?

Bruno Wife-Banger: Hey, with pleasure.