Difference between revisions of "Wild Barts Can't Be Broken/Quotes"

Revision as of 09:34, April 7, 2018

Lisa: Why do you hate the Isotopes so much, Dad?

Homer: Because, I loved them once and they broke my heart. Let that be a lesson to you, sweetie: never love anything.

Lisa: Even you?

Homer: Especially me.

Dennis Conroy: And, what's this? He's pointing to the right field bleachers! Probably at a dying little boy.

Bart: Mom, am I dying?

Marge: No, of course not!

Lisa: [whispering] Is he, Mom? You can tell me.

Marge: No!

Homer: So, who won? The losers?

Bart: No, they lost.

Homer: [chuckles] Losers.

Marge: But only by two points. And they didn't resort to stealing bases like the other team, so it's kind of a moral victory.

Lisa: With a little middle relief, they might even make the playoffs.

Homer: You'll be in your cold, cold grave before that ever happens.

Marge: Homer, would you please stop talking about the children's graves?

Kent Brockman: ...Where this morning the three "R"'s stand for rowdiness, ransacking, and i-rresponsibility. Any suspects, Chief?

Chief Wiggum: None. That's why we're jumping to the conclusion that this was the work of no good punk kids.

Lisa: But it's not fair. Adults always blame kids for everything!

Homer: Well, if kids are so innocent, why is everything bad named after them? Acting childish. Kidnapping. Child abuse..

Bart: What about adultery?

Homer: Not until you're older, son.

Homer: Kids, the carnival's in town for one night only! And they've got cotton candy and hats with feathers and there's no lines because all the stupid kids have curfew! So-- Oh, right. Sorry.

Milhouse: You think that's bad. I had to talk to my mom all night. She's got problems. Scary problems.

Nelson: Adults blow.

Bart: Yeah. Just look at 'em over there...

Milhouse: Smoking their cigarettes...

Lisa: Drinking their coffee...

Bart: Scratching their big butts...

Principal Skinner: Your metabolism will change someday, too, young man.

Chief Wiggum: That oughta show little Timmy and Tammy Scumbag who's in charge around here.

Creepy Bloodening kid 1: You're thinking about hurting us.

Creepy Bloodening kid 2: Now you're thinking, "How did they know what I was thinking?"

Creepy Bloodening kid 3: Now you're thinking "I hope that's shepherd's pie in my knickers."

Lisa: Wait! We don't need supernatural powers! We already know their secrets.

Bart: She's right! Homer's done a ton of crap that never made the papers.

Martin: My Mom shoplifts. All the time. Stuff she doesn't even need.

Nelson: [{Eddie Muntz|My Dad]] gets in car accidents on purpose.

Bart: [on radio] Now we come to Mr. Homer Simpson... Did you know he likes to eat out of the Flanders' garbage?

Marge: Oh, Homer...

Homer: I have a problem.

Professor Frink: Brilliant. They transduced amplitude modulation via the concavity of that oversized beverage conveyance. I mean that is some clever goyvin.

Chief Wiggum: All right, you kids come down now. We promise we won't kill ya.

Homer: Speak for yourself! Bart, get down here! I'm gonna spank you back to the Stone Age!