Difference between revisions of "Missionary: Impossible/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Alone Again, Natura-Diddily|Pygmoelian}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Alone Again, Natura-Diddily|Pygmoelian}} | ||
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| − | {{qf|[[ | + | {{qf|{{Ch|Betty White}}}} If you watch even one second of [[PBS]] and don't contribute, you are a thief! A common thief. |
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|Host}} Okay, take it easy, Betty. |
| + | {{qf|Betty White}} Sorry, but these thieves make me so damn mad! You know who you are. Thieves! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf| | + | {{qf|Host}} With your donation, you'll receive this classic PBS tote bag. |
| + | {{qf|Betty White}} Or this umbrella, featuring a picture of our classic tote bag. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|Homer}} | + | {{qf|Betty White}} Folks, we just reached our goal of ten thousand, seven hundred dollars. And it's all thanks to one generous caller who didn't leave his name. But, thanks to Insta-trace, we've learned it's Homer Simpson, of [[742 Evergreen Terrace]]. |
| + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[screams]'' Oh, why did I register with Insta-trace? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Mom, Dad's on PBS! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Marge]]}} They don't show police chases, do they? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} The banks are closed by now. | ||
| + | {{qf|Betty White}} It's 12:15. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Maybe your movie star banks are open crazy hours, but we in Springfield are simple folk. We like our cars fast, and our banks closed. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Sanctuary! Sanctuary! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Reverend Lovejoy]]}} Oh, why did I teach him that word? | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Qtoktok]]}} Are you enjoying your ox testicle? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Oh, yes. Very much so. | ||
| + | {{qf|Qtoktok}} Really? You sure you wouldn't rather have a coconut? They're delicious. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} No, I'm good. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} My name's Homer. What's yours? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Lisa, Jr.]]}} I am Oovilu-eeoo-kitana-wanjay. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} I'm gonna call you Lisa Junior. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Qtoktok}} {{ap|Craig|Missionary: Impossible}} and {{ap|Amy|Missionary: Impossible}} were digging a well. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Ak]]}} Craig and Amy were also building a chapel. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Craig and Amy, Craig and Amy. Why don't you just marry Craig and Amy? | ||
| + | {{qf|Qtoktok}} ''[to Ak]'' I told you we should have asked them. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} Homer, are you all right? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} I guess so, but that first month was pretty rough. | ||
| + | {{qf|Marge}} You've only been gone two days. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Ak}} ''[drunk]'' How can ace be one and eleven? Huh? What kind of God would allow that? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Oh, what happened?! I gave you a glittering Vegas, and you turned it into a skanky Atlantic City! | ||
| + | {{qf|Qtoktok}} Your alcohol and inexpensive buffets have corrupted us. I don't even like macaroni salad, but look at me! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Ak}} Why are you building chapel? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Because you're all terrible sinners. | ||
| + | {{qf|Ak}} Since when? | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Since I got here. | ||
{{Season 11|Q}} | {{Season 11|Q}} | ||
Latest revision as of 08:17, August 20, 2023
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- Betty White: If you watch even one second of PBS and don't contribute, you are a thief! A common thief.
- Host: Okay, take it easy, Betty.
- Betty White: Sorry, but these thieves make me so damn mad! You know who you are. Thieves!
- Host: With your donation, you'll receive this classic PBS tote bag.
- Betty White: Or this umbrella, featuring a picture of our classic tote bag.
- Betty White: Folks, we just reached our goal of ten thousand, seven hundred dollars. And it's all thanks to one generous caller who didn't leave his name. But, thanks to Insta-trace, we've learned it's Homer Simpson, of 742 Evergreen Terrace.
- Homer: [screams] Oh, why did I register with Insta-trace?
- Homer: The banks are closed by now.
- Betty White: It's 12:15.
- Homer: Maybe your movie star banks are open crazy hours, but we in Springfield are simple folk. We like our cars fast, and our banks closed.
- Homer: Sanctuary! Sanctuary!
- Reverend Lovejoy: Oh, why did I teach him that word?
- Qtoktok: Are you enjoying your ox testicle?
- Homer: Oh, yes. Very much so.
- Qtoktok: Really? You sure you wouldn't rather have a coconut? They're delicious.
- Homer: No, I'm good.
- Homer: My name's Homer. What's yours?
- Lisa, Jr.: I am Oovilu-eeoo-kitana-wanjay.
- Homer: I'm gonna call you Lisa Junior.
- Qtoktok: Craig and Amy were digging a well.
- Ak: Craig and Amy were also building a chapel.
- Homer: Craig and Amy, Craig and Amy. Why don't you just marry Craig and Amy?
- Qtoktok: [to Ak] I told you we should have asked them.
- Marge: Homer, are you all right?
- Homer: I guess so, but that first month was pretty rough.
- Marge: You've only been gone two days.
- Ak: [drunk] How can ace be one and eleven? Huh? What kind of God would allow that?
- Homer: Oh, what happened?! I gave you a glittering Vegas, and you turned it into a skanky Atlantic City!
- Qtoktok: Your alcohol and inexpensive buffets have corrupted us. I don't even like macaroni salad, but look at me!
- Ak: Why are you building chapel?
- Homer: Because you're all terrible sinners.
- Ak: Since when?
- Homer: Since I got here.
