Difference between revisions of "Flaming Moe/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Moms I'd Like to Forget|Homer the Father|Flaming Moe}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Moms I'd Like to Forget|Homer the Father|Flaming Moe}} | ||
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| − | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} Oh, no! I left a candy bar in my desk! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Late shift worker]]}} That's funny, 'cause I found '''this''' candy bar in '''my''' desk! ''[eats the candy bar]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} ''[angry, balling his fists]'' Time to punch in! | |
| + | :''[Homer hits his late-shift counterpart, and a brawl quickly ensues.]'' | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|[[Waylon Smithers]]}} Sir, the shifts are fighting like [[Iran]] and [[Iraq]]! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Mr. Burns]]}} Who? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Smithers}} Persia and Mesopotamia. | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | + | {{qf|Smithers}} Sir, is that your will? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Mr. Burns}} It is. I know it's hard to see a young buck like me and think of a day when I'm no longer in the pink. | |
| − | :''Mr. Burns sneezes, and the top of his skull flips open to reveal his brain. He quickly flips it | + | :''[Mr. Burns sneezes, and the top of his skull flips open to reveal his brain. He quickly flips it closed.]'' |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''Mr. Burns is riding on his lawyer's back, pretending he is riding a dinosaur. Homer walks into the room. | + | :''[After his half hour of lucidity passes, Mr. Burns is riding on his lawyer's back, pretending he is riding a dinosaur. Homer walks into the room.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Homer}} Aaagghhh! A dinosaur! ''[Runs out of the room screaming]'' | |
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[After Mr. Burns refuses to let Smithers see his will, Smithers sneaks into the office and has a look at it.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Smithers}} ''[reading Burns' will aloud]'' I, C. Montgomery Burns, hereby divide my estate and shares between the University Department of Applied Evil, Gary from Gary's Trap-Door Installation & Repair and finally, to my constant companion ... | |
| − | :''Cut to Smithers confronting Mr. Burns'' | + | :''[Cut to Smithers confronting Mr. Burns.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Smithers}} ''[indignant]'' Your '''tortoise'''?! | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''Smithers | + | :''[Disappointed at learning he's been left out of Mr. Burns' will, Smithers decides to console himself by visiting [[Springfield]]'s gay nightclub, [[The League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen]].]'' |
| − | :''' | + | {{qf|Smithers}} Here's a place I can feel wanted. |
| + | :''[He gets in line outside the bar, where a doorman next to a velvet rope is screening who gets to go inside.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Doorman}} You with the six-pack, you're in. ''[He moves on to the next man in line.]'' | ||
| + | :You with the [[Ben Affleck]] chin and the [[Matt Damon]] everything else, guess what. You're in. | ||
| + | :''[The doorman admits the next three men in line.''] In. In. In. | ||
| + | :''[To a man in a pink outfit]'' Aahh. ''[The doorman smiles. Smithers arrives at the head of the line.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Doorman}} ''[to Smithers]'' In your '''dreams'''. | ||
| + | {{qf|Smithers}} Oh, c'mon, I've had a rough day. | ||
| + | {{qf|Doorman}} With the buzz cut and the bow tie? This is a nightclub, not a John F. Kennedy cabinet meeting. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Rejected from the League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen, Smithers goes to [[Moe's]].]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Smithers}} Can I have a scotch and water? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Moe Szyslak]]}} My scotch '''is''' a scotch and water. | |
| − | |||
| − | |||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Smithers tries to persuade a group of Springfield's average-looking homosexuals to visit Moe's Tavern.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Grady Little]]}} Eeewww! Isn't that the place where all those rats committed suicide? | |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :''' | + | :''[At the made-over Mo's, Homer bumps into a Comic Book Guy look-a-like.]'' |
| + | {{qf|Homer}} Hey, I didn't know '''you''' were ... urgh ... you know ... one of those ... | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Comic Book Gay]]}} I am not Comic Book Guy. I am his cousin, Comic Book '''Gay'''. | ||
| + | {{qf|Homer}} But you do like comic books? | ||
| + | {{qf|Comic Book Gay}} A certain kind. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | {{qf|Moe}} ''[after kissing Smithers]'' Not bad. Like {{W|Frisbee Golf}}, I'm glad I tried it once. |
| − | + | ---- | |
| − | + | :''[After [[Principal Skinner]] runs off with his new girlfriend, [[Superintendent Chalmers]] appoints a new principal.]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Superintendent Chalmers]]}} Willie, you're the new principal. | |
| + | {{qf|[[Groundskeeper Willie]]}} Who's the new groundskeeper? | ||
| + | {{qf|Chalmers}} Also you. And you don't get more money. | ||
| − | {{Season 22 Q}} | + | {{Season 22|Q}} |
| − | |||
Latest revision as of 13:42, March 10, 2022
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- Homer: Oh, no! I left a candy bar in my desk!
- Late shift worker: That's funny, 'cause I found this candy bar in my desk! [eats the candy bar]
- Homer: [angry, balling his fists] Time to punch in!
- [Homer hits his late-shift counterpart, and a brawl quickly ensues.]
- Waylon Smithers: Sir, the shifts are fighting like Iran and Iraq!
- Mr. Burns: Who?
- Smithers: Persia and Mesopotamia.
- Smithers: Sir, is that your will?
- Mr. Burns: It is. I know it's hard to see a young buck like me and think of a day when I'm no longer in the pink.
- [Mr. Burns sneezes, and the top of his skull flips open to reveal his brain. He quickly flips it closed.]
- [After his half hour of lucidity passes, Mr. Burns is riding on his lawyer's back, pretending he is riding a dinosaur. Homer walks into the room.]
- Homer: Aaagghhh! A dinosaur! [Runs out of the room screaming]
- [After Mr. Burns refuses to let Smithers see his will, Smithers sneaks into the office and has a look at it.]
- Smithers: [reading Burns' will aloud] I, C. Montgomery Burns, hereby divide my estate and shares between the University Department of Applied Evil, Gary from Gary's Trap-Door Installation & Repair and finally, to my constant companion ...
- [Cut to Smithers confronting Mr. Burns.]
- Smithers: [indignant] Your tortoise?!
- [Disappointed at learning he's been left out of Mr. Burns' will, Smithers decides to console himself by visiting Springfield's gay nightclub, The League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen.]
- Smithers: Here's a place I can feel wanted.
- [He gets in line outside the bar, where a doorman next to a velvet rope is screening who gets to go inside.]
- Doorman: You with the six-pack, you're in. [He moves on to the next man in line.]
- You with the Ben Affleck chin and the Matt Damon everything else, guess what. You're in.
- [The doorman admits the next three men in line.] In. In. In.
- [To a man in a pink outfit] Aahh. [The doorman smiles. Smithers arrives at the head of the line.]
- Doorman: [to Smithers] In your dreams.
- Smithers: Oh, c'mon, I've had a rough day.
- Doorman: With the buzz cut and the bow tie? This is a nightclub, not a John F. Kennedy cabinet meeting.
- [Rejected from the League of Extra-Horny Gentlemen, Smithers goes to Moe's.]
- Smithers: Can I have a scotch and water?
- Moe Szyslak: My scotch is a scotch and water.
- [Smithers tries to persuade a group of Springfield's average-looking homosexuals to visit Moe's Tavern.]
- Grady Little: Eeewww! Isn't that the place where all those rats committed suicide?
- [At the made-over Mo's, Homer bumps into a Comic Book Guy look-a-like.]
- Homer: Hey, I didn't know you were ... urgh ... you know ... one of those ...
- Comic Book Gay: I am not Comic Book Guy. I am his cousin, Comic Book Gay.
- Homer: But you do like comic books?
- Comic Book Gay: A certain kind.
- Moe: [after kissing Smithers] Not bad. Like Frisbee Golf, I'm glad I tried it once.
- [After Principal Skinner runs off with his new girlfriend, Superintendent Chalmers appoints a new principal.]
- Superintendent Chalmers: Willie, you're the new principal.
- Groundskeeper Willie: Who's the new groundskeeper?
- Chalmers: Also you. And you don't get more money.
