Difference between revisions of "The Strong Arms of the Ma/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 14:08, February 26, 2022

Kent Brockman: I'm here with actor Rainier Wolfcastle, who, surprisingly, has filed for bankruptcy. Rainier, what went wrong?

Rainier Wolfcastle: Three divorces in three months. What can I say, Kent? I'm a romantic.

Brockman: But this personal tragedy translates into a good old fashioned bankruptcy sale!

Wolfcastle: Yeah! Everything must go. Even the painting of my Nana. This was done on her wedding day. Or should I say "deading day".

Wolfcastle: Do you need some assistance picking over the tattered remains of my life?

Homer: No, I'm good. Hey, your early porno movies! Are any of these hetero?

Wolfcastle: What's there is there.

Homer: Do you think you could give me a lift home?

Wolfcastle: Sure, I'll carry you in this giant Snuggli. I used it to carry Rob Schneider in the movie "My Baby Is An Ugly Man".

Homer: Your heartbeat is so soothing.

Wolfcastle: Shh. Time for sleep, little fatso.

Apu: Hello, Mrs. Homer!

Marge: Apu, where's your bathroom?

Apu: The bathroom is not for customers. Please use the crack house across the street. [gets whiff] Ugh, that is the most pungent thing I have ever smelled, and I am from India! All right, all right, but speak of this to no one!

Marge: Oh no! I pepper sprayed Ralph!

Ralph: Even my boogers are spicy!

Lisa: Mom, you didn't get the milk.

Bart: And you parked on top of the mailman.

Mailman: It's okay. All part of the job. Can you believe I get paid to wear short pants?

Marge: Ned, I'm not afraid!

Ned Flanders: Well, aren't you a super-duper recouper.

Marge: Grampa! I'm not afraid!

Grampa: Then you're not paying close enough attention!

Ruth Powers: Steroids aren't drugs. They occur naturally in the body, like sweat, or tumors.

Otto: Man, what am I smoking? Oh yeah, pot.

Announcer: In second place: Marge Simpson!

Bart: Second place!? Oh man, this'll just encourage her.

Lisa: I'm tired of her criticizing my saggy glutes.

Homer: Quiet, her muscular ears can hear us.

Homer: Oh, I'm so proud of you, honey. You bulked up, but managed to keep your femininity.

Marge: And that's why I didn't win!

Homer: Sorry, sir, sorry.

Marge: Starting tomorrow, I'm gonna up my glyco-load, use a denser ripping gel...

Homer: Denser?!

Marge: Damn straight, I didn't sacrifice my period for second place!

Homer (to Marge): Now, Dr. Hibbert said to use a number from one to 10 to describe how anxious you are.

Marge:..Two.. three...two...

Homer: Don't worry. Everything is fine.- What the hell is that?

Marge:..Eight...

Lisa: Dad, it's just a bug.

Marge:..Two...

Homer: Not just a bug, it's the queen of something!!

Marge: Ten!!Ten!! Ten!!

Homer: Don't worry. I'll set fire to the hive.

Marge: TWELVE!! FIFTEEN!!!! SEVEN HUNDRED AND THREE!!!!

Homer: I'm married to Joey Heatherton.

Homer: It's like I'm married to Shaft.

Marge (to Homer): You know..I really do miss being a lady.