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Difference between revisions of "The Principal and the Pauper/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson|Lisa's Sax}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson|Lisa's Sax}}
  
:'''[[Edna Krabappel]]''': Oh, Superintendent Chalmers! Can I offer you a cup of coffee-flavored Bevering?
+
{{qf|[[Edna Krabappel]]}} Oh, Superintendent Chalmers! Can I offer you a cup of coffee-flavored Bevering?
:'''[[Superintendent Chalmers]]''': Yeah, I take it gray with Cremium. But first, before Skinner shows up, I have a secret announcement. In honor of Seymour's twentieth year as principal, we've decided to hold a surprise tribute Friday night.
+
{{qf|[[Chalmers]]}} Yeah, I take it gray with Cremium. But first, before Skinner shows up, I have a secret announcement. In honor of Seymour's twentieth year as principal, we've decided to hold a surprise tribute Friday night.
:'''[[Groundskeeper Willie|Willie]]:''' It's my twentieth year, too.
+
{{qf|[[Willie]]}} It's my twentieth year, too.
:'''Chalmers:''' ''[rolling his eyes]'' The teachers' lounge is for teachers, Willie.
+
{{qf|Chalmers}} ''[rolling his eyes]'' The teachers' lounge is for teachers, Willie.
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Lisa]]''': Ralph and I could do the report together.
+
{{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Ralph and I could do the report together.
:'''[[Miss Hoover]]''': Your funeral.
+
{{qf|[[Miss Hoover]]}} Your funeral.
 
----
 
----
:'''Lisa:''' ...so, in 1966, a brave young man named Seymour Skinner enlisted and shipped out to Vietnam where he rose to become platoon sergeant. Ralph?
+
{{qf|Lisa}} ...so, in 1966, a brave young man named Seymour Skinner enlisted and shipped out to Vietnam where he rose to become platoon sergeant. Ralph?
:'''[[Ralph Wiggum|Ralph]]''': Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school. Lisa?
+
{{qf|[[Ralph]]}} Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school. Lisa?
:'''Lisa:''' Sergeant Skinner was a hero. He risked capture many times behind enemy lines.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Sergeant Skinner was a hero. He risked capture many times behind enemy lines.
:'''Ralph:''' Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty.
+
{{qf|Ralph}} Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty.
:'''Lisa:''' And he survived to make it back to Springfield, where he became the fine educator we salute tonight.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} And he survived to make it back to Springfield, where he became the fine educator we salute tonight.
:'''Ralph:''' When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar. I love you, Principal Skinner.
+
{{qf|Ralph}} When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar. I love you, Principal Skinner.
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Homer]]''': ''[in his mind, after Skinner says he's a fraud]'': Keep looking shocked... and move slowly towards the cake.
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} ''[in his mind, after Skinner says he's a fraud]'' Keep looking shocked... and move slowly towards the cake.
 
----
 
----
:'''Edna''': Is this the line for people who want to badmouth Sergeant Skinner?
+
{{qf|[[Edna]]}} Is this the line for people who want to badmouth Sergeant Skinner?
:'''[[Marge]]''': And have 10 items or less.
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} And have 10 items or less.
:'''Edna''': ''[tossing out items]'' 12, 11, 10, the man's a weenie!
+
{{qf|Edna}} ''[tossing out items]'' 12, 11, 10, the man's a weenie!
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Agnes Skinner]]''': I have no son!
+
{{qf|[[Agnes Skinner]]}} I have no son!
:'''Homer''': Look, lady, obviously you have at least one son.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Look, lady, obviously you have at least one son.
:'''Agnes''': No! I have one stranger and one fraud!
+
{{qf|Agnes}} No! I have one stranger and one fraud!
:'''Skinner/Armin:''' My real name is... Armin Tamzarian!
+
{{qf|[[Skinner]]/Armin}} My real name is... Armin Tamzarian!
 
:''[Bart laughs]''
 
:''[Bart laughs]''
 
----
 
----
:'''Skinner/Armin:''' The judge offered me a choice — jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady. Of course, if I knew there was a [[wikipedia:Vietnam War|war going on]], I probably would have apologized.
+
{{qf|Skinner/Armin}} The judge offered me a choice — jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady. Of course, if I knew there was a {{W|Vietnam War|war going on}}, I probably would have apologized.
 
----
 
----
:'''Chalmers''': Armin Tamzarian's reign of terror is over! Now let us welcome our new principal Skinner... principal Seymour Skinner!... ''[audience is confused. He points to [[Seymour Skinner|Sgt. Skinner]]]'' Uh, him.
+
{{qf|Chalmers}} Armin Tamzarian's reign of terror is over! Now let us welcome our new principal Skinner... principal Seymour Skinner!... ''[audience is confused. He points to {{ap|Seymour Skinner|The Principal and the Pauper|Sgt. Skinner}}]'' Uh, him.
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer''': Okay, once more. Where are we going?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Okay, once more. Where are we going?
:'''[[Edna Krabappel|Edna]]''': To Capital City.
+
{{qf|Edna}} To [[Capital City]].
:'''Homer''': And why are you and the old lady in the car?
+
{{qf|Homer}} And why are you and the old lady in the car?
:'''Agnes''': We're gonna talk [[Seymour Skinner|Armin Tamzarian]] into coming back.
+
{{qf|Agnes}} We're gonna talk [[Seymour Skinner|Armin Tamzarian]] into coming back.
:'''Homer''': And why is Marge here?
+
{{qf|Homer}} And why is Marge here?
:'''Marge''': I came up with the idea.
+
{{qf|Marge}} I came up with the idea.
:'''Homer''': And why am ''I'' here?
+
{{qf|Homer}} And why am ''I'' here?
:'''Marge''': Because the streets of Capital City are no place for three unescorted ladies.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Because the streets of Capital City are no place for three unescorted ladies.
:'''Homer''': Why are the kids here?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Why are the kids here?
:'''Marge''': Because we couldn't find [[Abraham Simpson|Grandpa]] to sit for them.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them.
:'''Homer''': And why is Grandpa here?
+
{{qf|Homer}} And why is Grandpa here?
:'''Abe''': Because [[Jasper Beardsley|Jasper]] didn't want to come by himself!
+
{{qf|[[Abe]]}} Because [[Jasper]] didn't want to come by himself!
:''[Jasper looks at Abe]''
+
:''[Jasper looks at Abe.]''
:'''Homer''': Fair enough.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Fair enough.
 
----
 
----
:'''Skinner/Armin:''' From now on, you'll see a new Seymour Skinner!
+
{{qf|Skinner/Armin}} From now on, you'll see a new Seymour Skinner!
:'''Agnes:''' Oh, no; we won't!
+
{{qf|Agnes}} Oh, no; we won't!
:'''Skinner/Armin:''' Yes, Mother.
+
{{qf|Skinner/Armin}} Yes, Mother.
 
----
 
----
:'''Lisa:''' A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
+
{{qf|Lisa}} A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
:'''Bart:''' Not if you called 'em Stenchblossoms.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Not if you called 'em Stenchblossoms.
:'''Homer:''' Or Crapweeds.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Or Crapweeds.
:'''Marge:''' I'd sure hate to get a dozen Crapweeds for Valentine's Day. I'd rather have candy.
+
{{qf|Marge}} I'd sure hate to get a dozen Crapweeds for Valentine's Day. I'd rather have candy.
:'''Homer:''' Not if they were called Scumdrops.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Not if they were called Scumdrops.
 
----
 
----
:'''Skinner:''' Why are we stopping at my school, Mother? What does it say on that sign?
+
{{qf|Skinner}} Why are we stopping at my school, Mother? What does it say on that sign?
:'''Agnes:''' (smacks him) I don't like your tone!
+
{{qf|Agnes}} ''[smacks him]'' I don't like your tone!
  
 
{{Season 9|Q}}
 
{{Season 9|Q}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Principal and the Pauper/Quotes}}
 
{{DEFAULTSORT:Principal and the Pauper/Quotes}}

Latest revision as of 03:27, October 16, 2021


Season 9 Episode Quotes
179 "The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson"
180
"The Principal and the Pauper"
"Lisa's Sax" 181


Edna Krabappel: Oh, Superintendent Chalmers! Can I offer you a cup of coffee-flavored Bevering?
Chalmers: Yeah, I take it gray with Cremium. But first, before Skinner shows up, I have a secret announcement. In honor of Seymour's twentieth year as principal, we've decided to hold a surprise tribute Friday night.
Willie: It's my twentieth year, too.
Chalmers: [rolling his eyes] The teachers' lounge is for teachers, Willie.

Lisa: Ralph and I could do the report together.
Miss Hoover: Your funeral.

Lisa: ...so, in 1966, a brave young man named Seymour Skinner enlisted and shipped out to Vietnam where he rose to become platoon sergeant. Ralph?
Ralph: Principal Skinner is an old man who lives at the school. Lisa?
Lisa: Sergeant Skinner was a hero. He risked capture many times behind enemy lines.
Ralph: Teacher made me go to Principal Skinner's office when I was dirty.
Lisa: And he survived to make it back to Springfield, where he became the fine educator we salute tonight.
Ralph: When I grow up, I want to be a principal or a caterpillar. I love you, Principal Skinner.

Homer: [in his mind, after Skinner says he's a fraud] Keep looking shocked... and move slowly towards the cake.

Edna: Is this the line for people who want to badmouth Sergeant Skinner?
Marge: And have 10 items or less.
Edna: [tossing out items] 12, 11, 10, the man's a weenie!

Agnes Skinner: I have no son!
Homer: Look, lady, obviously you have at least one son.
Agnes: No! I have one stranger and one fraud!
Skinner/Armin: My real name is... Armin Tamzarian!
[Bart laughs]

Skinner/Armin: The judge offered me a choice — jail, the army, or apologize to the judge and old lady. Of course, if I knew there was a war going on, I probably would have apologized.

Chalmers: Armin Tamzarian's reign of terror is over! Now let us welcome our new principal Skinner... principal Seymour Skinner!... [audience is confused. He points to Sgt. Skinner] Uh, him.

Homer: Okay, once more. Where are we going?
Edna: To Capital City.
Homer: And why are you and the old lady in the car?
Agnes: We're gonna talk Armin Tamzarian into coming back.
Homer: And why is Marge here?
Marge: I came up with the idea.
Homer: And why am I here?
Marge: Because the streets of Capital City are no place for three unescorted ladies.
Homer: Why are the kids here?
Marge: Because we couldn't find Grandpa to sit for them.
Homer: And why is Grandpa here?
Abe: Because Jasper didn't want to come by himself!
[Jasper looks at Abe.]
Homer: Fair enough.

Skinner/Armin: From now on, you'll see a new Seymour Skinner!
Agnes: Oh, no; we won't!
Skinner/Armin: Yes, Mother.

Lisa: A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
Bart: Not if you called 'em Stenchblossoms.
Homer: Or Crapweeds.
Marge: I'd sure hate to get a dozen Crapweeds for Valentine's Day. I'd rather have candy.
Homer: Not if they were called Scumdrops.

Skinner: Why are we stopping at my school, Mother? What does it say on that sign?
Agnes: [smacks him] I don't like your tone!
Season 9 Quotes
The City of New York vs. Homer Simpson The Principal and the Pauper Lisa's Sax Treehouse of Horror VIII The Cartridge Family Bart Star The Two Mrs. Nahasapeemapetilons Lisa the Skeptic Realty Bites Miracle on Evergreen Terrace All Singing, All Dancing Bart Carny The Joy of Sect Das Bus The Last Temptation of Krust Dumbbell Indemnity Lisa the Simpson This Little Wiggy Simpson Tide The Trouble with Trillions Girly Edition Trash of the Titans King of the Hill Lost Our Lisa Natural Born Kissers