• Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
TwitterFacebookDiscord

Difference between revisions of "Lisa's First Word/Quotes"

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
m (linking, formatting)
m (Bot: applying template Qf, deleting empty lines, rearranging links (code: quotes))
Line 2: Line 2:
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Mr. Plow|Homer's Triple Bypass}}
 
{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Mr. Plow|Homer's Triple Bypass}}
  
:'''Baby [[Lisa]]:''' "Bart!"
+
{{qf|Baby [[Lisa]]}} "Bart!"
 
+
{{qf|Toddler [[Bart]]}} "What did you say?"
:'''Toddler [[Bart]]:''' "What did you say?"
+
{{qf|Baby Lisa}} "Bart?"
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} "Suffering succatash! You can talk! ''[runs downstairs]'' Mom! Dad! She can talk! Say it again, Lis."
:'''Baby Lisa:''' "Bart?"
+
{{qf|Baby Lisa}} "Bart! Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart."
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} "''I'm'' her first word!"
:'''Bart:''' "Suffering succatash! You can talk! ''[runs downstairs]'' Mom! Dad! She can talk! Say it again, Lis."
+
{{qf|[[Marge]]}} "Well, I'm not surprised. Lisa's crazy about you. She thinks you hung the moon."
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} "Wow! ''[to Lisa]'' Lisa. Can you say 'Mommy'?"
:'''Baby Lisa:''' "Bart! Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart."
+
{{qf|Baby Lisa}} "Mommy."
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} "Can you say 'David Hasslehoff'?"
:'''Bart:''' "''I'm'' her first word!"
+
{{qf|Baby Lisa}} "Dabid Hasslehoff." ''[giggles]''
 
+
{{qf|[[Homer]]}} "Can you say 'Daddy'?"
:'''[[Marge]]:''' "Well, I'm not surprised. Lisa's crazy about you. She thinks you hung the moon."
+
{{qf|Baby Lisa}} "Homer."
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} "No, sweetie. 'Daddy'."
:'''Bart:''' "Wow! ''[to Lisa]'' Lisa. Can you say 'Mommy'?"
+
{{qf|Baby Lisa}} ''[pause]'' "Homer."
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} "D'oh!"
:'''Baby Lisa:''' "Mommy."
 
 
 
:'''Bart:''' "Can you say 'David Hasslehoff'?"
 
 
 
:'''Baby Lisa:''' "Dabid Hasslehoff." ''[giggles]''
 
 
 
:'''[[Homer]]:''' "Can you say 'Daddy'?"
 
 
 
:'''Baby Lisa:''' "Homer."
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' "No, sweetie. 'Daddy'."
 
 
 
:'''Baby Lisa:''' ''[pause]'' "Homer."
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' "D'oh!"
 
 
----
 
----
 
:''[While Bart and Lisa argue, Homer puts Maggie to bed.]''
 
:''[While Bart and Lisa argue, Homer puts Maggie to bed.]''
  
:'''Homer:''' "You know, Maggie. The sooner kids learn to talk, the sooner they talk back. ''[puts Maggie in her crib]'' I hope you never say a word."
+
{{qf|Homer}} "You know, Maggie. The sooner kids learn to talk, the sooner they talk back. ''[puts Maggie in her crib]'' I hope you never say a word."
  
 
:''[Homer leaves the room, closing the door behind him. Maggie takes her pacifier out of her mouth.]''
 
:''[Homer leaves the room, closing the door behind him. Maggie takes her pacifier out of her mouth.]''
  
:'''[[Maggie]]:''' "Daddy."
+
{{qf|[[Maggie]]}} "Daddy."
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge:''' Maggie, can you say ba-ba? Can you say mama?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Maggie, can you say ba-ba? Can you say mama?
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} Can you say get bent?
:'''Bart:''' Can you say get bent?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Bart!
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} Mister Rogers says it all the time!
:'''Marge:''' Bart!
+
{{qf|Marge}} He does not.
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Maggie, can you say daddy? Daddy?
:'''Bart:''' Mister Rogers says it all the time!
+
{{qf|Marge}} Kitty. Kitty.
 
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Be-bop. Be-bop.
:'''Marge:''' He does not.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Shove it. Shove it.
 
+
{{qf|Marge}} According to Fretful Mother Magazine, if Maggie doesn't talk at age 1, we should consider a corrective tongue extender.
:'''Homer:''' Maggie, can you say daddy? Daddy?
 
 
 
:'''Marge:''' Kitty. Kitty.
 
 
 
:'''Lisa:''' Be-bop. Be-bop.
 
 
 
:'''Bart:''' Shove it. Shove it.
 
 
 
:'''Marge:''' According to Fretful Mother Magazine, if Maggie doesn't talk at age 1, we should consider a corrective tongue extender.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Bart:''' Homer!
+
{{qf|Bart}} Homer!
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Homer's what grownups call me. Call me daddy.
:'''Homer:''' Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Homer's what grownups call me. Call me daddy.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Homer.
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Daddy.
:'''Bart:''' Homer.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Homer.
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[becoming increasingly irate]'' Daddy.
:'''Homer:''' Daddy.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Da...da...da...
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Yes?
:'''Bart:''' Homer.
+
{{qf|Bart}} D'omer! Hah, hah, hah...
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Why you little... ''[chokes Bart]''
:'''Homer:''' ''[becoming increasingly irate]'' Daddy.
 
 
 
:'''Bart:''' Da...da...da...
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' Yes?
 
 
 
:'''Bart:''' D'omer! Hah, hah, hah...
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' Why you little... ''[chokes Bart]''
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge:''' ''[telling Bart a bedtime story]'' Then the prince and the princess... ''[yawn]'' got married and lived happily ever after.
+
{{qf|Marge}} ''[telling Bart a bedtime story]'' Then the prince and the princess... ''[yawn]'' got married and lived happily ever after.
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} Then what happened?
:'''Bart:''' Then what happened?
+
{{qf|Marge}} Uh...they had 30 sons and thirty daughters.
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} What were their names?
:'''Marge:''' Uh...they had 30 sons and thirty daughters.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Hmm...Dennis...Brad...Mavis...Brad... ''[falls asleep]''
 
 
:'''Bart:''' What were their names?
 
 
 
:'''Marge:''' Hmm...Dennis...Brad...Mavis...Brad... ''[falls asleep]''
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer:''' Got your nose! Heh heh heh.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Got your nose! Heh heh heh.
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} Got your wallet! ''[flushes it down toilet]''
:'''Bart:''' Got your wallet! ''[flushes it down toilet]''
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge:''' There's going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now!
+
{{qf|Marge}} There's going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now!
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} We're going to start doing it in the morning?!
:'''Homer:''' We're going to start doing it in the morning?!
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge:''' I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger house.
+
{{qf|Marge}} I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger house.
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} No, we won't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's crib and Bart'll sleep with us until he's 21.
:'''Homer:''' No, we won't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's crib and Bart'll sleep with us until he's 21.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Won't that warp him?
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} My cousin Frank did it.
:'''Marge:''' Won't that warp him?
+
{{qf|Marge}} You don't have a cousin Frank.
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} He became Francine back in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.
:'''Homer:''' My cousin Frank did it.
 
 
 
:'''Marge:''' You don't have a cousin Frank.
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' He became Francine back in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Selma]]:''' Hey Bart, want a dollar? Uh uh uh, you know what I wanna hear.
+
{{qf|[[Selma]]}} Hey Bart, want a dollar? Uh uh uh, you know what I wanna hear.
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} ''[singing]'' I'm a little teapot short and stout, this is my handle this is my spout. The incy wincy spider went up the water spout...
:'''Bart:''' ''[singing]'' I'm a little teapot short and stout, this is my handle this is my spout. The incy wincy spider went up the water spout...
+
{{qf|Selma}} Oh yeah! Love that spout medley.
 
 
:'''Selma:''' Oh yeah! Love that spout medley.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge:''' Once we get the cats out of the way, it won't be too bad.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Once we get the cats out of the way, it won't be too bad.
 
+
{{qf|[[Realty agent]]}} Actually, according to the will, the cats own the house. You'd be their tenants!
:'''[[Realty agent]]:''' Actually, according to the will, the cats own the house. You'd be their tenants!
+
{{qf|Lisa}} I wish we lived in the kitty house.
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} I could've trained them to be my unholy army of the night. Go, my pretties! Kill! Kill!
:'''Lisa:''' I wish we lived in the kitty house.
 
 
 
:'''Bart:''' I could've trained them to be my unholy army of the night. Go, my pretties! Kill! Kill!
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer:''' Dad, I have a problem.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Dad, I have a problem.
 
+
{{qf|[[Grampa]]}} Why did you come to me? I don't know nothin'. I used to get by on my looks. Now they're gone... withered away like an old piece of fruit. ''[sobs]''
:'''[[Grampa]]:''' Why did you come to me? I don't know nothin'. I used to get by on my looks. Now they're gone... withered away like an old piece of fruit. ''[sobs]''
+
{{qf|Homer}} Are you done?
 
+
{{qf|Grampa}} No, not yet! I was voted the handsomest boy in [[Albany]], [[New York]]!
:'''Homer:''' Are you done?
+
{{qf|Homer}} Dad, I don't need advice! I need $15,000 to buy a home!
 
+
{{qf|Grampa}} Oh, well. All I own is this house, that I built with my own two hands!
:'''Grampa:''' No, not yet! I was voted the handsomest boy in [[Albany]], [[New York]]!
+
{{qf|Homer}} You didn't build this house! You won it on a crooked 50's game show!
 
+
{{qf|Grampa}} I ratted on everybody and got off scot-free!
:'''Homer:''' Dad, I don't need advice! I need $15,000 to buy a home!
 
 
 
:'''Grampa:''' Oh, well. All I own is this house, that I built with my own two hands!
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' You didn't build this house! You won it on a crooked 50's game show!
 
 
 
:'''Grampa:''' I ratted on everybody and got off scot-free!
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Grampa:''' All right, son, I'll sell this dump and write you a check.
+
{{qf|Grampa}} All right, son, I'll sell this dump and write you a check.
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Dad, first you gave me life, now you've given me a home for my family, I'd be honored if you came to live with us.
:'''Homer:''' Dad, first you gave me life, now you've given me a home for my family, I'd be honored if you came to live with us.
+
{{qf|Grampa}} Thank you!
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} ''[in the present]'' So how long before you shipped Grampa off to the old-folks home?
:'''Grampa:''' Thank you!
+
{{qf|Homer}} About three weeks.
 
 
:'''Bart:''' ''[in the present]'' So how long before you shipped Grampa off to the old-folks home?
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' About three weeks.
 
  
 
:''[Everyone laughs.]''
 
:''[Everyone laughs.]''
 
----
 
----
:'''Lisa:''' When do we get to my first word?
+
{{qf|Lisa}} When do we get to my first word?
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Your what?
:'''Homer:''' Your what?
+
{{qf|Lisa}} My first words!
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Nah, you don't want to hear that story. I know. I'll tell you about the time I got locked in the bank vault with Mr. Mooney. It was another one of my harebrained schemes.
:'''Lisa:''' My first words!
+
{{qf|Lisa}} Dad!
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Wait a minute. That was "The Lucy Show". Okay, where were we?
:'''Homer:''' Nah, you don't want to hear that story. I know. I'll tell you about the time I got locked in the bank vault with Mr. Mooney. It was another one of my harebrained schemes.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Mom was preggers and Dad threw all our money down a sink hole.
 
 
:'''Lisa:''' Dad!
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' Wait a minute. That was "The Lucy Show". Okay, where were we?
 
 
 
:'''Bart:''' Mom was preggers and Dad threw all our money down a sink hole.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Ned]]:''' If you need anything just give a whistle.
+
{{qf|[[Ned]]}} If you need anything just give a whistle.
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} I could use a TV tray.
:'''Homer:''' I could use a TV tray.
+
{{qf|Ned}} Well, gee...
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} What?
:'''Ned:''' Well, gee...
+
{{qf|Ned}} Uh, I just this minute bought it at the hardware...
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} You said "anything".
:'''Homer:''' What?
+
{{qf|Ned}} Heh, sure, you can borrow it for...a little while.
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[in the present]'' And that little while is now 8 years and counting. Heh, heh, heh.
:'''Ned:''' Uh, I just this minute bought it at the hardware...
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' You said "anything".
 
 
 
:'''Ned:''' Heh, sure, you can borrow it for...a little while.
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' ''[in the present]'' And that little while is now 8 years and counting. Heh, heh, heh.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Bart:''' ''[during his "terrible two's" phase; he's banging pans and chanting while Marge is resting in her bedroom with a washcloth on her forehead]'' I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me, I am so great!
+
{{qf|Bart}} ''[during his "terrible two's" phase; he's banging pans and chanting while Marge is resting in her bedroom with a washcloth on her forehead]'' I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me, I am so great!
 
+
{{qf|Marge}} Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Could you please be quiet?
:'''Marge:''' Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Could you please be quiet?
+
{{qf|Bart}} Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quie --
 
+
{{qf|Marge}} Bart, get out!
:'''Bart:''' Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quie --
 
 
 
:'''Marge:''' Bart, get out!
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Homer:''' It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
+
{{qf|Homer}} It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.
 
----
 
----
:'''Bart:''' [[Krusty]] funny!
+
{{qf|Bart}} [[Krusty]] funny!
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Duh.
:'''Homer:''' Duh.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Bart:''' Can't sleep, clown'll eat me.
+
{{qf|Bart}} Can't sleep, clown'll eat me.
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge:''' Homer, I think the baby is coming.
+
{{qf|Marge}} Homer, I think the baby is coming.
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Wow. A baby and a free burger. Could this be the best day of my life?
:'''Homer:''' Wow. A baby and a free burger. Could this be the best day of my life?
+
{{qf|TV Announcer}} Next up, an hour-long episode of "Mama's Family."
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Yes!
:'''TV Announcer:''' Next up, an hour-long episode of "Mama's Family."
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' Yes!
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Ned:''' We'll take good care of your boy, Simpson. Enjoy the miracle of creation!
+
{{qf|Ned}} We'll take good care of your boy, Simpson. Enjoy the miracle of creation!
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Shut up, Flanders.
:'''Homer:''' Shut up, Flanders.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Ned:''' Supper time, boys!
+
{{qf|Ned}} Supper time, boys!
 
+
{{qf|[[Todd]]}} Oh boy: liver!
:'''[[Todd]]:''' Oh boy: liver!
+
{{qf|[[Rod]]}} Iron helps us play.
 
 
:'''[[Rod]]:''' Iron helps us play.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge:''' ''[about Bart after Lisa's born]'' According to this magazine, Bart might be jealous of her.
+
{{qf|Marge}} ''[about Bart after Lisa's born]'' According to this magazine, Bart might be jealous of her.
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} Well, Bart can kiss my hairy yellow butt.
:'''Homer:''' Well, Bart can kiss my hairy yellow butt.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Marge:''' I saved this newspaper from the day Lisa was born.
+
{{qf|Marge}} I saved this newspaper from the day Lisa was born.
 
+
{{qf|Lisa}} "Mondale to Hart: Where's the beef?"
:'''Lisa:''' "Mondale to Hart: Where's the beef?"
+
{{qf|Bart}} "Where's the beef?" What the hell that's supposed to mean?
 
+
{{qf|Homer}} ''[laughs]'' "Where's the beef"...No wonder he won Minnesota.
:'''Bart:''' "Where's the beef?" What the hell that's supposed to mean?
 
 
 
:'''Homer:''' ''[laughs]'' "Where's the beef"...No wonder he won Minnesota.
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Patty:''' The older they get, the cuter they ain't.
+
{{qf|Patty}} The older they get, the cuter they ain't.
 
----
 
----
:'''[[Dr. Hibbert]]:''' ''[at Lisa's checkup]'' ''[laughs]'' She has the relexes of a young [[Mary Lou Retton]]. Have a wowwipop. ''[gives Lisa one]''
+
{{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} ''[at Lisa's checkup]'' ''[laughs]'' She has the relexes of a young [[Mary Lou Retton]]. Have a wowwipop. ''[gives Lisa one]''
 
+
{{qf|Bart}} Can I have a lollipop?
:'''Bart:''' Can I have a lollipop?
+
{{qf|Dr. Hibbert}} Oh Bart, I'm afraid that was the last one. But I've got something even better for you: a rubella inoculation! ''[holds up a giant needle]''
 
 
:'''Dr. Hibbert:''' Oh Bart, I'm afraid that was the last one. But I've got something even better for you: a rubella inoculation! ''[holds up a giant needle]''
 
 
----
 
----
:'''Bart:''' I wanna hold the baby. I wanna hold the baby.
+
{{qf|Bart}} I wanna hold the baby. I wanna hold the baby.
 
+
{{qf|Marge}} I'm sorry, Bart, you're too little.
:'''Marge:''' I'm sorry, Bart, you're too little.
+
{{qf|Homer}} Here, Bart, you can hold my beer. ''[puts it on his head]''
 
 
:'''Homer:''' Here, Bart, you can hold my beer. ''[puts it on his head]''
 
  
 
{{Season 4|Q}}
 
{{Season 4|Q}}

Revision as of 08:42, November 12, 2018


Season 4 Episode Quotes
068 "Mr. Plow"
069
"Lisa's First Word"
"Homer's Triple Bypass" 070


Baby Lisa: "Bart!"
Toddler Bart: "What did you say?"
Baby Lisa: "Bart?"
Bart: "Suffering succatash! You can talk! [runs downstairs] Mom! Dad! She can talk! Say it again, Lis."
Baby Lisa: "Bart! Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart, Bart."
Bart: "I'm her first word!"
Marge: "Well, I'm not surprised. Lisa's crazy about you. She thinks you hung the moon."
Bart: "Wow! [to Lisa] Lisa. Can you say 'Mommy'?"
Baby Lisa: "Mommy."
Bart: "Can you say 'David Hasslehoff'?"
Baby Lisa: "Dabid Hasslehoff." [giggles]
Homer: "Can you say 'Daddy'?"
Baby Lisa: "Homer."
Homer: "No, sweetie. 'Daddy'."
Baby Lisa: [pause] "Homer."
Homer: "D'oh!"

[While Bart and Lisa argue, Homer puts Maggie to bed.]
Homer: "You know, Maggie. The sooner kids learn to talk, the sooner they talk back. [puts Maggie in her crib] I hope you never say a word."
[Homer leaves the room, closing the door behind him. Maggie takes her pacifier out of her mouth.]
Maggie: "Daddy."

Marge: Maggie, can you say ba-ba? Can you say mama?
Bart: Can you say get bent?
Marge: Bart!
Bart: Mister Rogers says it all the time!
Marge: He does not.
Homer: Maggie, can you say daddy? Daddy?
Marge: Kitty. Kitty.
Lisa: Be-bop. Be-bop.
Bart: Shove it. Shove it.
Marge: According to Fretful Mother Magazine, if Maggie doesn't talk at age 1, we should consider a corrective tongue extender.

Bart: Homer!
Homer: Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh. Homer's what grownups call me. Call me daddy.
Bart: Homer.
Homer: Daddy.
Bart: Homer.
Homer: [becoming increasingly irate] Daddy.
Bart: Da...da...da...
Homer: Yes?
Bart: D'omer! Hah, hah, hah...
Homer: Why you little... [chokes Bart]

Marge: [telling Bart a bedtime story] Then the prince and the princess... [yawn] got married and lived happily ever after.
Bart: Then what happened?
Marge: Uh...they had 30 sons and thirty daughters.
Bart: What were their names?
Marge: Hmm...Dennis...Brad...Mavis...Brad... [falls asleep]

Homer: Got your nose! Heh heh heh.
Bart: Got your wallet! [flushes it down toilet]

Marge: There's going to be twice as much love in this house as there is now!
Homer: We're going to start doing it in the morning?!

Marge: I'm afraid we're going to need a bigger house.
Homer: No, we won't. I've got it all figured out. The baby can have Bart's crib and Bart'll sleep with us until he's 21.
Marge: Won't that warp him?
Homer: My cousin Frank did it.
Marge: You don't have a cousin Frank.
Homer: He became Francine back in '76. Then he joined that cult. I think his name is Mother Shabubu now.

Selma: Hey Bart, want a dollar? Uh uh uh, you know what I wanna hear.
Bart: [singing] I'm a little teapot short and stout, this is my handle this is my spout. The incy wincy spider went up the water spout...
Selma: Oh yeah! Love that spout medley.

Marge: Once we get the cats out of the way, it won't be too bad.
Realty agent: Actually, according to the will, the cats own the house. You'd be their tenants!
Lisa: I wish we lived in the kitty house.
Bart: I could've trained them to be my unholy army of the night. Go, my pretties! Kill! Kill!

Homer: Dad, I have a problem.
Grampa: Why did you come to me? I don't know nothin'. I used to get by on my looks. Now they're gone... withered away like an old piece of fruit. [sobs]
Homer: Are you done?
Grampa: No, not yet! I was voted the handsomest boy in Albany, New York!
Homer: Dad, I don't need advice! I need $15,000 to buy a home!
Grampa: Oh, well. All I own is this house, that I built with my own two hands!
Homer: You didn't build this house! You won it on a crooked 50's game show!
Grampa: I ratted on everybody and got off scot-free!

Grampa: All right, son, I'll sell this dump and write you a check.
Homer: Dad, first you gave me life, now you've given me a home for my family, I'd be honored if you came to live with us.
Grampa: Thank you!
Bart: [in the present] So how long before you shipped Grampa off to the old-folks home?
Homer: About three weeks.
[Everyone laughs.]

Lisa: When do we get to my first word?
Homer: Your what?
Lisa: My first words!
Homer: Nah, you don't want to hear that story. I know. I'll tell you about the time I got locked in the bank vault with Mr. Mooney. It was another one of my harebrained schemes.
Lisa: Dad!
Homer: Wait a minute. That was "The Lucy Show". Okay, where were we?
Bart: Mom was preggers and Dad threw all our money down a sink hole.

Ned: If you need anything just give a whistle.
Homer: I could use a TV tray.
Ned: Well, gee...
Homer: What?
Ned: Uh, I just this minute bought it at the hardware...
Homer: You said "anything".
Ned: Heh, sure, you can borrow it for...a little while.
Homer: [in the present] And that little while is now 8 years and counting. Heh, heh, heh.

Bart: [during his "terrible two's" phase; he's banging pans and chanting while Marge is resting in her bedroom with a washcloth on her forehead] I am so great! I am so great! Everybody loves me, I am so great!
Marge: Honey, honey, honey, honey, honey. Could you please be quiet?
Bart: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quie --
Marge: Bart, get out!

Homer: It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day.

Bart: Krusty funny!
Homer: Duh.

Bart: Can't sleep, clown'll eat me.

Marge: Homer, I think the baby is coming.
Homer: Wow. A baby and a free burger. Could this be the best day of my life?
TV Announcer: Next up, an hour-long episode of "Mama's Family."
Homer: Yes!

Ned: We'll take good care of your boy, Simpson. Enjoy the miracle of creation!
Homer: Shut up, Flanders.

Ned: Supper time, boys!
Todd: Oh boy: liver!
Rod: Iron helps us play.

Marge: [about Bart after Lisa's born] According to this magazine, Bart might be jealous of her.
Homer: Well, Bart can kiss my hairy yellow butt.

Marge: I saved this newspaper from the day Lisa was born.
Lisa: "Mondale to Hart: Where's the beef?"
Bart: "Where's the beef?" What the hell that's supposed to mean?
Homer: [laughs] "Where's the beef"...No wonder he won Minnesota.

Patty: The older they get, the cuter they ain't.

Dr. Hibbert: [at Lisa's checkup] [laughs] She has the relexes of a young Mary Lou Retton. Have a wowwipop. [gives Lisa one]
Bart: Can I have a lollipop?
Dr. Hibbert: Oh Bart, I'm afraid that was the last one. But I've got something even better for you: a rubella inoculation! [holds up a giant needle]

Bart: I wanna hold the baby. I wanna hold the baby.
Marge: I'm sorry, Bart, you're too little.
Homer: Here, Bart, you can hold my beer. [puts it on his head]
Season 4 Quotes
Kamp Krusty A Streetcar Named Marge Homer the Heretic Lisa the Beauty Queen Treehouse of Horror III Itchy & Scratchy: The Movie Marge Gets a Job New Kid on the Block Mr. Plow Lisa's First Word Homer's Triple Bypass Marge vs. the Monorail Selma's Choice Brother from the Same Planet I Love Lisa Duffless Last Exit to Springfield So It's Come to This: A Simpsons Clip Show The Front Whacking Day Marge in Chains Krusty Gets Kancelled