The Food Wife/Quotes

Quotes

Season 23 Episode Quotes

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490

"Replaceable You"

491
"The Food Wife"

"The Book Job"

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Marge: And here's a marble for Lisa for cleaning her room, and a marble for Bart for not trashing Lisa's room. The jars are full, so you've earned your Saturday Surprise Dad Day!

Bart & Lisa: Yay!

Homer: This Saturday, from the dad who brought you cemetery paintball and go-karts on real roads, comes the greatest activity yet...

Bart & Lisa: Video game convention!

Marge: The kids sure had a good time with you.

Homer: Yeah, I was on today. Scary on.

Marge: How come they never call me Fun Mom?

Homer: Look, honey, a family's like a team. And on every team, you have the slam-dunking megastar and the referee.

Marge: It's not fair. Moms want to be fun, but we're stuck with all the mom stuff.

Homer: Okay, okay, how about this: next week, you take the kids on a Saturday Surprise Dad Day.

Marge: What if... we roll pennies and go to the dollar store?

Homer: That's good, Marge! Get all the terrible ideas out of your system.

Lisa: Mom, we're hungry.

Marge: Oh. I guess we could make a sprint for one of these local establishments.

Lisa: They're using pancakes as spoons.

Bart: Ooh, let's see what else they do wrong.

Comic Book Guy: Wait, wait, wait, what is she eating? They've never served me that dish, and I wear indigenous beaded headgear.

Marge: Oh, this? It's just a little Zelzel Minchet Aletcha Wat. It's all I ever eat here.

Sideshow Mel: They have prepared her a dish from the non-translated page! So grab a pancake and slurp some slop! Foodies, heed my call! Commence ripping and dipping!

Marge: Kids, I was thinking, was it really such a great idea to invite your father to that dinner?

Lisa: Relax-- Dad will be the life of the party. He'll be the fourth Mouthketeer.

Marge: But there weren't four Musketeers.

Lisa: Yeah-huh. Athos, Porthos, Aramis and D'Artagnan.

Marge: D'Artagnan wasn't a Musketeer. He only had a letter of introduction to the captain of the guards-- which he lost!

← Season 22 Season 23 Quotes Season 24 →
The Falcon and the D'ohman • Bart Stops to Smell the Roosevelts • Treehouse of Horror XXII • Replaceable You • The Food Wife • The Book Job • The Man in the Blue Flannel Pants • The Ten-Per-Cent Solution • Holidays of Future Passed • Politically Inept, with Homer Simpson • The D'oh-cial Network • Moe Goes from Rags to Riches • The Daughter Also Rises • At Long Last Leave • Exit Through the Kwik-E-Mart‎ • How I Wet Your Mother • Them, Robot • Beware My Cheating Bart‎ • A Totally Fun Thing Bart Will Never Do Again • The Spy Who Learned Me • Ned 'n Edna's Blend Agenda • Lisa Goes Gaga