Difference between revisions of "The Monkey Suit/Quotes"
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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:'''[[Chief Wiggum]]:''' [[Lisa Simpson]], you're under arrest for the teaching of non-biblical science! | :'''[[Chief Wiggum]]:''' [[Lisa Simpson]], you're under arrest for the teaching of non-biblical science! | ||
:'''Lisa Simpson:''' There are so many worse crimes. Why are you persecuting me? | :'''Lisa Simpson:''' There are so many worse crimes. Why are you persecuting me? | ||
| − | :'''Chief Wiggum:''' Well, we only have the man power to enforce the last law passed. You know, it's not the best system, | + | :'''Chief Wiggum:''' Well, we only have the man power to enforce the last law passed. You know, it's not the best system, but... well, in fact, it's pretty much the worst. |
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| − | :'''TV Host:''' So you are calling God a liar? An Unbiased Comparison of Evolution and Creationism. | + | :'''TV Host:''' So you are calling God a liar? An Unbiased Comparison of Evolution and Creationism. Let's say hi to two books. One; ''The Bible'' was written by our Lord. The other; ''The Origin of Species'' was written by a cowardly drunk named Charles Darwin. |
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:'''Ned Flanders:''' As sure as I am that Jesus hates hip-hop!. | :'''Ned Flanders:''' As sure as I am that Jesus hates hip-hop!. | ||
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:'''[[Barney Gumble]]:''' [[Homer]]'s son's sister is right! | :'''[[Barney Gumble]]:''' [[Homer]]'s son's sister is right! | ||
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| − | :'''[[Clarisse Drummond]]:''' This trial is the biggest load | + | :'''[[Clarisse Drummond]]:''' This trial is the biggest load of... Oh for crying out loud! |
:'''[[Wallace Brady]]:''' Now Bambi, who started that forest fire that killed your mother? Evolution?! My my my... | :'''[[Wallace Brady]]:''' Now Bambi, who started that forest fire that killed your mother? Evolution?! My my my... | ||
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Revision as of 17:39, March 8, 2020
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- Todd: Daddy, was Mommy a monkey? I can't remember.
- Ned: No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! God put us here and that's that!
- Todd: But you said a stork brought me.
- Ned: Umm... that was God disguised as a stork.
- Rod: Then who brings baby storks?
- Ned: There's no such thing as storks! It's all God!
- Todd: [Kneeling beside a statue of a stork] Please bless Daddy and Roddy...
- Ned: Stop praying to that stork!
- Chief Wiggum: Lisa Simpson, you're under arrest for the teaching of non-biblical science!
- Lisa Simpson: There are so many worse crimes. Why are you persecuting me?
- Chief Wiggum: Well, we only have the man power to enforce the last law passed. You know, it's not the best system, but... well, in fact, it's pretty much the worst.
- TV Host: So you are calling God a liar? An Unbiased Comparison of Evolution and Creationism. Let's say hi to two books. One; The Bible was written by our Lord. The other; The Origin of Species was written by a cowardly drunk named Charles Darwin.
- Ned Flanders: As sure as I am that Jesus hates hip-hop!.
- Miss Hoover: Class, the town has spoken. From now on we're only teaching one theory: creationism. Now please hand in your evolution books to Groundskeeper Willie while I beat this ominous drum.
- Barney Gumble: Homer's son's sister is right!
- Clarisse Drummond: This trial is the biggest load of... Oh for crying out loud!
- Wallace Brady: Now Bambi, who started that forest fire that killed your mother? Evolution?! My my my...
- Bart: Weaving? Homer, you're my father. You're supposed to protect me from things like this.
