Difference between revisions of "The Tell-Tale Pants/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 11:47, May 6, 2024

Marge: For God's sakes, why don't you just buy a shirt with a bigger neck?

Homer: Neck shaming, Marge. Neck shaming.

Marge: That's not a thing.

Homer: Who made you president of things?

Kent Brockman: And here's Ms. Hoover. Who are you wearing?

Miss Hoover: Same thing I always wear. I can only afford one dress.

Kent Brockman: Ah, teachers. We can never repay you for all you do. So, we won't. [chuckles]

Mayor Quimby: So, if you have a chance, take your family to the fabulous new Springfield Academy Museum. Closed Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Admission is free, but parking is extremely expensive.

Duffman: And now I'm afraid we must apologize for an earlier "In Memoriam" tribute to the person we said was dead but was actually alive... who now is actually dead. It is... our bad!

Hans Moleman: But I'm alive.

Jacqueline Bouvier: I'll just say this. Even when you visit me, it's worse than when you don't visit me.

Collectible Pants Dude: I've never seen such a perfectly distressed rear. I mean, these pants have experienced thousands... I say thousands... of pounds of butt pressure.

Marge: Yes, he's got a big keister. Are we gonna deal or what?

Mr. Burns: Oppenheimer. Oppenheimer! I am so sick of hearing about that jerk. "Wah, I built a bomb then I was sad when they dropped it." Boo-hoo. Aren't you sick of Oppenheimer, Smithers?

Waylon Smithers: Actually, sir, I preferred another movie last summer.

Mr. Burns: Another movie? Besides Oppenheimer?

Smithers: That's right.

Mr. Burns: There was a second movie people were seeing?

Smithers: Yes, there was. A global phenomenon.

Mr. Burns: Really? Global, you say?

Mr. Burns: Mm, well, you seem to be bleeding from the head.

Smithers: It's dye.

Mr. Burns: Die on your own time.

Mr. Burns: Have you fellows heard of "Tickling the Dragon's Tail"?

Carl Carlson: Sounds like a DreamWorks film.

Mr. Burns: Well, it's not.

Marge: I thought I'd enjoy this money, but I'm not happy.

Barney Gumble: I sure don't envy you, lady. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Add vodka, and meet me down here.

Marge: Are you there alone?

Homer: Well, I asked Lenny, but he was busy. Carl was out sick. Smitty was taking or teaching a Pilates class, I forget which.So I finally asked that new guy from Ghana.

Ghanaian man: I have so many questions about your baseball. First, why?

Marge: I want the biggest ring I can buy!

Yes Guy: Ooh! That's a coincidence. I want you to have the biggest ring I can sell.

Yes Guy: Should cost three months' salary.

Marge: If I don't have a salary, is it free?

Yes Guy: No. Nice try.

Homer: What is this? A fancy ring?! That Marge bought for herself?! She's been holding back on us this whole time. Oh, my God, the things she does. The things she does. The things she does. Aw. The things she does. All the wonderful things she does. Putting those sweet notes in my lunch every day. Getting everyone a birthday present and saying they're from both of us. Even in her sleep, she's perfect. With all the wonderful, beautiful things Marge does, there's only one thing I can do with this ring.