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"Diatribe of a Mad Housewife"

Episode Information Showrunner: [[{{{showrunner}}}]]

"Diatribe of a Mad Housewife" is the tenth episode of season 15. It originally aired on January 25, 2004.

Synopsis

Marge is inspired to write a romance novel, though after Homer hears rumours that Marge is secretly in love with Ned Flanders due to the storyline of the novel, he grows jealous. Meanwhile, Homer buys an ambulance and becomes an ambulance driver.

Plot

After Homer buys nearly everything on the menu at Krusty Burger, burrito filling hits the windshield and, unable to see the road, he swerves towards the power plant. Homer is fired immediately and thrown out unceremoniously.

Meanwhile, Marge, Bart and Lisa are at a bookstore, where Marge meets author Emsé Delacroix. This meeting inspires Marge to write a novel. Meanwhile, Homer buys a 1959 Eureka Cadillac hightop ambulance at Boris' Car Loft, after failing at a new job of auto sales.

Marge begins to write a novel about whaling times (inspired by the boat painting in the living room), and proceeds to write several sentences.

That evening, Homer is running his ambulance service. Unfortunately for his customers (patients), he loses his way and refuses to accept that he is lost, driving in circles.

Homer buys his ambulance.

Marge creates the characters for her novel: Temperance, the dutiful lady, inspired by herself; Temperance's loving whaler husband, inspired by Homer; and Cyrus Manly, inspired by Ned Flanders. At first, she has Homer as a successful whale hunter, but after he comes home, very tired, Marge decides to remake him into a lazy, drunk fisher who has no luck. She completes the book, titled "The Harpooned Heart". She gets positive reviews and decides to get it published. Marge asks Homer to read her book, but he falls asleep while attempting. He later lies and says he loves the book. Marge becomes an instant success, with praise from Tom Clancy and Thomas Pynchon. However, Helen Lovejoy begins to spread rumors that the novel is based on Marge's life.

Homer comes home drunk.

After Homer is teased by several people, saying that Ned is Marge's secret love, Homer gets mad and decides to read the book. He buys an audiotape version read by the Olsen twins. Homer gets angry with Marge, and Marge rebuts by saying that he never read the book. Homer decides to get revenge on Ned. He chases him in his ambulance after Ned flees. Lisa tells Bart that this situation is similar to the ending of the novel; Temperance's husband confronts Cyrus at the edge of a cliff and harpoons him. However, he is caught in his harpoon's rope, and is dragged by a whale which Cyrus' corpse was stuck to, into the sea. Homer then pursues Ned to a cliff, where Homer corners him. Homer then asks Ned to make him a better man, and when Marge tracks them down, she thinks that Homer is about to kill Ned, however she realizes that what is happening is fine. Homer and Marge then decide to make their own novel: "Who Really Killed JFK?", with Homer's theory being that Lee Harvey Oswald killed as a distraction, so he could steal the Jack Ruby.