Difference between revisions of "The Front/Quotes"

Revision as of 10:21, November 12, 2018

Homer's Brain: This is it, Homer. It's time to tell her the terrible secret from your past.

Homer: Marge, I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.

Marge: Oh, my God!

Homer's Brain: No, the other secret!

Homer: Marge, I never graduated from High School.

Marge: Well, that still doesn't explain why you ate my soap. Wait, maybe it does.

Grampa: [writing a letter'] Dear Mr. President, there are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three. I am not a crackpot.

Bart: What are you going to change your name to when you grow up?

Lisa: Lois Sanborn.

Bart: Steve Bennett.

Bart: Didn't you wonder why you were getting checks for doing nothing?

Grampa: I figured it was because the Demmie-crats were back in power.

Lisa's Brain: Poor predictable Bart. Always takes 'rock'.

Bart's Brain: Good ol' 'rock'. Nuthin' beats that!

Bart: Rock!

Lisa: Paper.

Bart: D'oh!

Secretary: Is this the Abraham Simpson who wrote the Itchy and Scratchy episode?

Grampa: Ishy and what? No, you must be some kind of crazy person.

Secretary: I'm sorry, but we have a substantial check here for a Mr. Abraham Simpson.

Grampa: That's right. I did the Iggy.

Homer: I never passed Remedial Science 1A.

Marge: And you're a nuclear technician?

Homer: Marge! Ix-nay on the uclear-nay echnician-tay.

Marge: What did you say?

Homer: I dunno. I flunked Latin, too.

Grampa: Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions.

Singers: Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders.

Homer: Not me!

Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!

Ned: Knock that off, you two. It's time for church!

Rod: We're not going to church today!

Ned: What? You give me one good reason!

Todd: It's Saturday.

Ned: Okely dokily-doo!

Singers: Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders.

Dondelinger: Alright, here are your exams, fifty questions true or false.

Homer: True.

Dondelinger: Homer, I was just describing the test.

Homer: True.

Dondelinger: Look Homer, just take the test and you'll do fine.

Homer: False.

Dondelinger: Now, I'm going to burn this donut to show you how many calories it has.

Homer: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Dondelinger: The bright blue flame indicates this was a particularly sweet donut.

Homer: This is not happening!

Roger Meyers, Jr.: Hey, how would you kids like a tour of the studio? Abe, are you coming?

Grampa: Any stairs?

Roger Meyers, Jr.: Just one.

Grampa: Nuts to you.

Lisa: Grampa, how did you take off your underwear without taking off your pants?

Grampa: I don't know!

Homer: Alright brain. You don't like me and I don't like you. But let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer

Homer's Brain: It's a deal.

Dondelinger: Welcome to Remedial Science 1A. My wife recently passed away. I thought that maybe teaching would ease my loneliness.

Homer: Will this be on the test?

Dondelinger: No!

Homer: Ohhh. (erases note from his cheat sheet)

Bart: What about Grampa? He's pretty out of it. He let those guys use his checkbook for a whole year.

Bart: Hey, Grampa, we need to know your first name.

Grampa: You're making my tombstone!?

Bart: I'll never watch an awards show again.

Homer: I discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch.

Homer: What can I say? It hasn't been easy staying in my rut.