Difference between revisions of "Islands in the Revenue Stream"

Latest revision as of 12:02, May 30, 2024

Islands in the Revenue Stream is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Level 42 content update. It unlocks Roger Myers Jr. and the Itchy & Scratchy Studio.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark I miss the old Springfield. Where's the black market Vicodin? Where's the underground kangaroo fight club? I need my 'roo fights! Sure, I'm making lots of money. But that gets boring without morally reprehensible things to spend it on. Krusty, if you're jaded about being rich, there's only one solution to your spiritual crisis -- get even richer. Yeah, then I can buy a private island. And attach rockets to it, and blast it into space. Ah, Space Island. What you need is to start making new Itchy & Scratchys. But we've already got hundreds of them. And the characters don't change or age. What innovative stories could any writer wring out of those characters? From what I can tell, none. But it doesn't matter. No one needs to watch the new episodes. They just need to know they're being made and remember the old ones fondly... and voila, the brand is still relevant! Then you can start merchandising t-shirts and action figures, slot machines and beer... maybe even develop a freemium game! Would the game have to be good? Not at all. Just rebuild Itchy & Scratchy Studios. I promise you'll be slurping up cash pronto from that sweet IP! Task: "Reach Level 42 And Build the Itchy & Scratchy Studio". It takes 4 hours. Look out, ennui. You're about to get punched with a money fist. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark Krusty, if it isn't my favorite talking ulcer. What is it that you want from me? Hey, hey, Roger. I just pulled you from oblivion. You ought to be kissing my foot acne in gratitude. I ain't kissing your facne for nothing! You still owe me for the Picasso you destroyed! When I drunkenly broke into your house and got cold? What was I supposed to start a fire with... a Monet!? I'm not breathing in fumes from some crappy Impressionist! Fellas, let's put aside this fighting, and focus on our common goal -- being rich enough to feel superior to others. We have a simple request, Roger. Get your staff at I & S to develop a new batch of beloved cartoons we can turn into shoddy, sweatshop merchandise. Remember, not just loved, BE-loved. We can do that. I have the smartest, hardest working, most talented writers since... [JOKE TO COME]. Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Writers". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 12 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark Well, Roger, I've given you and your staff 12 hours, give or take the use of donuts. That should be more than enough time for them to come up with a billion dollar franchise. I'm sorry, Krusty. I went into the studio, and found everyone who worked for me is gone. And by gone, I mean is now a skeleton. There's a lesson here: if you chain your writers to their chairs, make sure those chairs are within arms' reach of the breakroom. Wait. Then what have you been doing all this time? Caught up with my email. Your inbox really fills up when you haven't been in existence for a while. Oh, even more money! You were going to heal me! Now how will I ever end the numbness I feel for life? Task: "Make Krusty Be a Sad Clown". The job takes place at Channel 6 and takes 24 hours. The worst problems in the world are the ones that affect me. A sad clown? How very original. Originality is not my specialty. Besides, I'm not sad for me. I'm sad for the millions of viewers who'll never get to see new episodes of Itchy and Scratchy. I guess you haven't seen Deadline Springfield. What is that -- the Internet? People aren't still doing the Internet, are they? Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Krusty's exclamation mark Hey Roger Liars, which I say since Liars rhymes with your last name Myers. What's this I just read on Deadline Springfield? Look whose tears have dried. My good pal-- Don't you "good pal" me! You're gonna make millions showing Itchy & Scratchy on the World Wide Whatever! And you cut me out of the deal?! In our last contract, you never asked for a share of new media sales. It's not my fault we signed that when the internet didn't exist. You backstabbing son of a backstabber! If it's an option in my menu, I will make it my mission to have you stored back in the inventory. People don't watch television anymore, Krusty. They receive content through smartphones, computers, tablets, and direct-to-brain downloads. So now some company will pay us handsomely for the opportunity to provide the entire Itchy & Scratchy catalogue via cable and internet doohickeys. That's how to wring the last remaining drops of cash out of an aging cartoon franchise. But you told me IP something something blah blah? I just said that to trick you into bringing back Roger. Face it, Krusty. You got Blue-Haired Lawyered. Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Negotiate New Media Rights". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 10 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark Seven hundred and fifty million dollars... Roger, can you please finish signing these contracts? Seven hundred and fifty million dollars... Yes, that's how much you're going to be paid for the streaming rights for Itchy & Scratchy by the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©! Seven hundred and fifty million dollars... But you can't get anything from the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, until you sign all the contracts. Seven hundred and fifty million dollars... *sigh* Here, you hold the pen and I'll hold your hand. Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. "Sign" on the Dotted Line". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 2 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 6[edit]

After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark Look at all these tech weirdos and inter-dorks here to build the Itchy & Scratchy website. Finally, I've got a staff to demean and humiliate. What am I supposed to yell at them to do again? They're creating an advertising supported web portal. It's basically a Hulu devoted solely to Itchy & Scratchy where all the episodes ever produced can be viewed. Do whatever the lawyer just said! And do it faster! Or I'll pull out your throats and choke you with your own windpipes! Make a note of that visual. We could make a whole story out of it for the cat. Or the mouse. Whichever one does the violence. Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Web Designers". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 10 hours. I am here to inform you, Krusty, since the start of the I & S web portal for BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, you must cease all displays of Itchy & Scratchy licensed images. You're pulling Itchy & Scratchy? Please, no one watches my show to see me! Everyone knows I'm the one holding me back! Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 7[edit]

After tapping on Bart's exclamation mark Lis, look outside and tell me if the world blew up! It's still here. The world is unlikely to end by explosion though. The true danger is inattention and neglect as we use up our natural resources. I have seen the asteroid, and it is us. You're as fun as ever, sis. But now we have a real problem! Itchy & Scratchy was pulled from Krusty's show! This is going to make wasting time watching TV pointless. As the super rich get super richer, the rest of us have to accept the rules they give us. That's how the modern economy works. By the way, if you're smart and powerless, it's way cooler to give up and act jaded. I read that in The Economist For Kidz. This is unacceptable. What's the point of being kids if we can't fix problems with pluck, spunk, and ...how do we fix this? Well, we could round up all the kids in town and write complaint letters to Roger Myers Jr. This could be our civil rights movement, but instead of being about freedom from social persecution, it's about freedom to watch TV. Because freedom is now a meaningless word. Write letters? Would we have to use cursive? This seems too hard. Can't we just email photos of our butts? Anyone or any spambot can shoot off an email. But people willing to write letters, they're crazy enough to be dangerous. Task: "Make Kids Write Angry Letters" (x8). The jobs take place at Bart's Treehouse and take 10 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Characters that can do the task are:

Pt. 8[edit]

After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark I've gotten so many thoughtful, articulate letters from our passionate fans. Intern, bring me the incinerator! Dear Leader Mr. Myers, sir, the incinerator broke yesterday, after you tried to burn the printer after another paper jam. A printer's job is to print. Not eat up all my paper! Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Read Hate Mail". The job takes 24 hours. Taking the time to personally ignore each fan letter is so fulfilling. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 9[edit]

After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark Nothing better to do after the completion of a lifetime of work than proclaim some exposition. The Itchy & Scratchy website is ready to launch. I can finally relax. Think I'll treat myself by making my clothes stink of tobacco. Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Relax with a Cigar". The job takes place at Benches with Backs and takes 4 hours. Wait, if all my work is done, who am I going to yell at? There's too much risk of reprisal with waiters and concierges. I can try yelling at my cigar. Cigar, you better not give me mouth cancer! Oh no, this isn't working -- it's just defiantly blowing smoke in my face. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 10[edit]

After tapping on Roger Myers Jr.'s exclamation mark So it's agreed. I'll get to yell at people to make new Itchy & Scratchy episodes, and Krusty will show them. That's all I ever wanted. Also, a percentage of that seven hundred and fifty million dollar new media sale would be great. Seven hundred and fifty million dollars... Krusty, the BZZ Network, Where Entertainment Is Extreme ©, has offered to pay your cable bill for one year. They view new episodes airing on your network as the perfect advertising for their website. Especially since they're all owned by the same media conglomerate. You make it cable AND internet, and we've got a deal! Task: "Make Krusty Get a Piece of the Action". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 8 hours. Task: "Make Roger Myers Jr. Shout at the Animators". The job takes place at the Itchy & Scratchy Studio and takes 8 hours. Okay, you scribbling cretins, I want you to shove amazing down my throat like I'm a French goose! It's nice to be home. Quest reward: 100 and 10