• New article from the Springfield Shopper: Season 35 News: New promotional images for “The Tell-Tale Pants” have been released!
  • New article from the Springfield Shopper: Homer is obsessed with gratuitous gratuities this May!
  • Wikisimpsons needs more Featured Article, Picture, Quote, Episode and Comprehensive article nominations!
  • Wikisimpsons has a Discord server! Click here for your invite! Join to talk about the wiki, Simpsons and Tapped Out news, or just to talk to other users.
  • Make an account! It's easy, free, and your work on the wiki can be attributed to you.
TwitterFacebookDiscord

The Simpsons: Tapped Out The Springfield Jobs content update/Premium Gameplay

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Contents

Zero Mile High Club[edit]

Zero Mile High Club Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Wheels McGrath's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Grampa Icon - Startled.png Wheels McGrath! What are you doing in Springfield?
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png Same thing I always do: opening a nightclub in an old abandoned airliner.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png That's the American way: stick with your plan no matter how terrible.
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png I found an old DC8 sitting in the jungle south of Springfield.
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png Now all I have to do is carve a pathway out to it.
Task: Make Wheels McGrath Machete Around (4h)
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png There it is. A nice wide jungle path straight to my new nightclub.
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png I love my machete. Keeps me in shape, and my mind sharp. What do you do to stay on edge, Abe?
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Nothin'! My mind's as sharp as the day I... forget who you are.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Zero Mile High Club Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Wheels McGrath's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png Almost time to open my jungle airliner nightclub. Let's go over the launch checklist.
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png Pathway cut, check. Band hired, check. Band stiffed out of paychecks, check.
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png Now I just have to get some booze. Only problem is, no money to buy it.
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png Time to use the skills I learned as a world traveler... and raid some hotel room minibars.
Task: Make Wheels McGrath Raid the Minibars (8h)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Zero Mile High Club Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Wheels McGrath's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png Welcome aboard my nightclub airplane, frequent funsters.
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png Do not check for your nearest exit, because we'll be partying all night.
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png Remember, Federal regulations forbid moping in the lavatories.
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png So start the music, because it's time for you to get as high as your pilot.
Task: Make Springfielders Put Trays in Party Position [x3] (1h, The First Class Lounge)
Task: Make Wheels McGrath Party in First Class Cabin (12h, The First Class Lounge)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Zero Mile High Club Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Wheels McGrath's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png What a great night at my airplane nightclub. The only thing that got hijacked was people's bad moods.
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png And their credit card numbers, which I'll be selling to international criminals.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png The jig is up, McGrath! I'm coming aboard your airplane!
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Although it's a long climb up those air stairs. Any chance you could come down here?
Tapped Out Wheels McGrath Icon.png The fuzz! Time to take off -- in my night club airplane!
Task: Make Wheels McGrath Prepare to Depart (24h, The First Class Lounge)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

You Are Getting Sleepy (But Keep Playing)[edit]

You Are Getting Sleepy (But Keep Playing) Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Sven Golly's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Kirk Icon.png Excuse me, but are you the famous hypnotist Sven Golly?
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png Some call me that. Others call me "Barry".
Tapped Out Kirk Icon.png My therapist suggested I try some hypnosis to improve my self-esteem.
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png You realize that I am a cheap sideshow performer.
Tapped Out Kirk Icon.png That's all I deserve.
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png Boy, you really do have low self-esteem.
Task: Make Sven Golly Perform Cheap Tricks (12h, Master Hypnotist Tent)
Task: Make Adults Receive Career Hypnosis [x3] (4h, Master Hypnotist Tent)
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png You are getting sleepy.
Tapped Out Kirk Icon.png I'm getting sleepy.
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png You will hand me your debit card and PIN.
Tapped Out Kirk Icon.png I'm not actually hypnotized, but sure.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

You Are Getting Sleepy (But Keep Playing) Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Sven Golly's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png Ugh, these small-time crimes will never get me to the big time.
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png Doing a cheesy Las Vegas show where I rip off tourists legally.
Tapped Out Kirk Icon.png Hey, it's me again. Can you hypnotize me into not caring about my wife's affair?
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png I'm a hypnotist, not Aladdin's genie.
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png But hey, if I can help even this guy, maybe I can hypnotize myself to be more successful.
Task: Make Sven Golly Hypnotize Himself (4h)
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png Wow! I've totally empowered myself with self-hypnosis.
Tapped Out Kirk Icon.png No kidding, you charged me for the time.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

You Are Getting Sleepy (But Keep Playing) Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Sven Golly's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png First, I'll hypnotize the Mayor into handing me the cash from the city parking meters...
Tapped Out Quimby Icon.png Here are the quarters, master.
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png Then, I'll mesmerize Mr. Burns into handing over his jewels...
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Don't bother. I can't be hypnotized because my brain is mostly reptile.
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png No matter! Sven Golly is going to be rich by golly.
Task: Make Sven Golly Perform Hypnosis Crimes (4h, Town Hall)
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png We got you now, Sven! Hold it right there.
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png Fast work, officer. Let me pull out my pocket watch to see how fast.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Don't try anything. I'm gonna be staring at that watch going back and forth like a hawk.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Okay, I'm... Can I please be turned into a chicken?
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

You Are Getting Sleepy (But Keep Playing) Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Sven Golly's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Aha, Sven Golly, I caught you at last! Great police work on my part.
Tapped Out Lou Icon.png *I* caught him. You just had him hypnotize you to think you did it.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Well, that sounds pretty smart of me Lou.
Tapped Out Lou Icon.png You also had him hypnotize you to think that.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png I should've had him hypnotize me to forget you.
Task: Make Sven Golly Practice Prison Chess (8h, Master Hypnotist Tent)
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png You beat me again, Sven Golly. But what do you expect? I'm a chicken.
Tapped Out Sven Golly Icon.png I didn't hypnotize you to think you were a chicken.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Oh right. Guess I meant, I want to eat a chicken.
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Revenge of the Calabresi's[edit]

Revenge of the Calabresi's Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Dante Calabresi Sr.'s exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Sr. Icon.png Dante, my son, it's time we taught Fat Tony and his gang a lesson.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Jr. Icon.png You know it, Dad. No one tries to whack us without getting a back-whacking.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Sr. Icon.png Let's send our regards to the Springfield wise guys in the classic, subtle Calabresi style.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Jr. Icon.png Right! With a helicopter attack.
Task: Make Dante Calabresi Sr. and Dante Calabresi Jr. Whack Somebody (4h, Dante Calabresi Sr.)
Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon.png What on Earth was that racket?
Tapped Out Legs Icon.png The Calabresis, Tony, they're back with the helicopter.
Tapped Out Fat Tony Icon.png So it wasn't a racket, it was a whack-it!
Tapped Out Louie Icon.png Those Calabresis got nothing on our wordplay.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Revenge of the Calabresi's Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Dante Calabresi Sr.'s exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Sr. Icon.png We failed to whack anyone with our A-whack helicopter.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Jr. Icon.png Maybe we need an AWACKS jet to provide airborne control.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Sr. Icon.png Good idea. See if you can extort one from the Air Force.
Task: Make Dante Calabresi Sr. Run the Calabresi Mafia (24h, Brown House)
Task: Make Dante Calabresi Jr. Extort the Air Force [x2] (12h, Brown House)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Revenge of the Calabresi's Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Dante Calabresi Sr.'s exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Sr. Icon.png Son, after our recent failures to whack, I've decided the Calabresi family is going legit.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Jr. Icon.png Great idea, Pops. What's our legitimate business going to be?
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Sr. Icon.png Cocktail weenies. The demand is incredible. People who eat them just look so cool.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Jr. Icon.png Even phone gamers?
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Sr. Icon.png They're cocktail weenies, son, not miracle workers.
Task: Make Dante Calabresi Jr. Study Cocktail Weenies (8h)
Task: Make Dante Calabresi Sr. Smoke a Cigar (8h)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Revenge of the Calabresi's Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Dante Calabresi Sr.'s exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Jr. Icon.png It's no good, Pops. I can't figure out the secret of the cocktail weenie.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Jr. Icon.png They're so tiny but with such a punch... like sausage Tom Cruises.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Sr. Icon.png *Sigh* I hoped you wouldn't have to be a mobster.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Sr. Icon.png I hoped maybe you could be a doctor, a senator, or even a judge on that idol show they keep rebooting.
Tapped Out Dante Calabresi Sr. Icon.png But at least now we get to keep whacking people!
Task: Make Dante Calabresi Sr. and Dante Calabresi Jr. Whack Somebody (4h)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Colo-See 'Em Fight[edit]

After buying Colosseum:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png This replica of the Roman Colosseum is amazing!
Tapped Out Cecil Icon.png Thank you, Lisa. It's accurate right down to the sewer grate that they slopped gladiator guts through.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Sometimes I wish people remembered that I'm an eight year old.
Task: Make Lisa Visit the Colosseum (4h, Colosseum)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Pompeii It Forward[edit]

After buying Pompeii Ruins:
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Let me guess. Another historically accurate landmark.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You should be excited! We can learn all about the intersection between public and private life in the late Roman Republic.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Yawn.
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You can see mummies who were buried in lava.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png What are we waiting for? Let's go learn things!
Task: Make Lisa Study History (4h, Pompeii Ruins)
Task: Make Bart Read Ancient Graffiti (4h, Pompeii Ruins)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Give 'Em Enough Pope[edit]

Give 'Em Enough Pope Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Pope's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Pope Icon.png Springfield, my greatest challenge. Home to evil, debauchery, and worst of all, a ton of birth control.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png If you knew our kids, you wouldn't blame us for that last one.
Tapped Out Pope Icon.png I'm here to restore faith and duty to this wicked town.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png We're not interested in your stodgy, old-time religion, buddy.
Tapped Out Pope Icon.png And you won't get it. Because I'm the cool young pope!
Task: Make Pope Be Young And Cool (8h)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Whoa, that's the coolest dude wearing white I've ever seen.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Except for that southern gentleman on the buckets of fried chicken.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Give 'Em Enough Pope Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Pope's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Your Holiness, as one cool dude to another, wanna hang out?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Maybe you can teach me about your religion. 'Cause Reverend Lovejoy is doing nothing for me.
Tapped Out Rev. Lovejoy Icon.png It's not my fault I can't be cool and wear sunglasses. I have an easily irritated nose bridge.
Tapped Out Pope Icon.png I'll be delighted to teach you, Bart. Young men like you are the greatest hope for the future.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Wouldn't want to be you, future.
Task: Make the Pope Teach Bart (4h, St. Paul's Basilica)
Task: Make Bart Learn the Catholic Catechism (4h, St. Paul's Basilica)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Give 'Em Enough Pope Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Pope's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Pope Icon.png Bart, I'm surprised. I thought you were eager to become a Catholic, but you're barely studying.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Maybe if you revived my interest with something cool.
Tapped Out Pope Icon.png You mean, like the story of Saint Ursula and her martyrdom.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png I was thinking more like a ride in the pope mobile.
Tapped Out Pope Icon - Eyeroll.png *sigh* Fine.
Task: Make Pope Ride the Pope Mobile (4h)
Task: Make Bart Tag Along With the Pope (4h, St. Paul's Basilica)
Tapped Out Pope Icon.png Bart, what are you doing? Get your hands off the pope mobile steering wheel.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Sorry, but this thing is armor-plated and supercharged.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png The perfect thing to run over Skinner's car.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Give 'Em Enough Pope Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Pope's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Pope Icon.png Bart, you were just tricking me so you could get your hands on my pope mobile and run over your principal's car.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Don't feel bad. It's not like you're infallible or something.
Tapped Out Pope Icon.png I give up. I cannot beat Springfield.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png And if you can't beat 'em, excommunicate 'em.
Task: Make Pope Excommunicate Springfielders (4h, St. Paul's Basilica)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Battle of the Quick Wit Brits[edit]

Battle of the Quick Wit Brits Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Geoffrey Chaucer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Geoffrey Chaucer Icon.png Good lord, by some magic we have returned to walk the world.
Tapped Out Oscar Wilde Icon.png You can walk. I'm going to flit about like an irritating angel.
Tapped Out Geoffrey Chaucer Icon.png Well, time to get Middle English on someone's ass. Care to join me in a haunting?
Tapped Out Oscar Wilde Icon.png Good idea. I'll start by saying some of my most haunting epigrams.
Task: Make Geoffrey Chaucer Haunt Tourists (4h, Westminster Abbey)
Task: Make Oscar Wilde Confuse Tourists With Quotes (4h, Westminster Abbey)
Task: Make Springfielders Tour Westminster Abbey [x3] (1h, Westminster Abbey)
Tapped Out Oscar Wilde Icon.png We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
Tapped Out Barney Icon - Drunk.png You saying I can't do both? I'll show ya!
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Battle of the Quick Wit Brits Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Geoffrey Chaucer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Oscar Wilde Icon.png Chaucer, what in the Westminster Abbey happened to your clothes?
Tapped Out Geoffrey Chaucer Icon.png I'll just say this: never play strip poker with the ghost of Shakespeare.
Tapped Out Oscar Wilde Icon.png You should know better than to gamble with that hack. That's how he got hold of Francis Bacon's plays.
Tapped Out Oscar Wilde Icon.png Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to seek inspiration for my writing.
Tapped Out Geoffrey Chaucer Icon.png I'm going to walk around town and see if I can find a ghoul who'll lend me some money.
Task: Make Geoffrey Chaucer Search for Money (8h)
Task: Make Oscar Wilde Let Springfield Inspire Him (8h)
Tapped Out Oscar Wilde Icon.png The only thing this town inspires me to do is throw up.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Battle of the Quick Wit Brits Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Geoffrey Chaucer's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Geoffrey Chaucer Icon.png Oscar Wilde, you bon mot spouting baboon, come over here and give me a kiss.
Tapped Out Oscar Wilde Icon.png You're drunk, Chaucer, you disgusting oaf!
Tapped Out Geoffrey Chaucer Icon.png Am not. I was floating around town and I got caught in a cloud of whatever Otto is smoking.
Tapped Out Geoffrey Chaucer Icon.png And no one calls me an oaf except King Richard II!
Task: Make Geoffrey Chaucer Battle a Brit (4h, Geoffrey Chaucer)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Battle of the Quick Wit Brits Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Oscar Wilde's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Oscar Wilde Icon.png Let's not fight, Chaucer. After all, we're both trapped for eternity in this uncomfortable corner of a drafty cathedral.
Tapped Out Geoffrey Chaucer Icon.png Yes, let's focus on something we both love: blurring photographs taken by American tourists.
Tapped Out Oscar Wilde Icon.png I shouldn't but... I can resist everything but temptation!
Tapped Out Cletus Icon.png Hey, whats this blurry thing-a-ma-ghost doing in ma clickety-look?
Task: Make Oscar Wilde and Geoffrey Chaucer Harass Tourists (4h, Westminster Abbey)
Task: Make Cletus Fiddle With His Camera (4h, Westminster Abbey)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Bucking-Spam Malice[edit]

After buying Buckingham Palace:
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Finally! This town has a spectacular royal residence.
Tapped Out Homer Icon - Drool.png Mmm, Bucking-ham sandwich.
Task: Make Lisa Watch the Changing of the Guard (4h, Buckingham Palace)
Task: Make Homer Salivate (4h, Buckingham Palace)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Jack the Ripper Promotion[edit]

After tapping on Gil's Gil Hat.pngHat mark:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png I had a great idea: I borrowed Professor Frink's time machine.
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Figured I'd go back in time, give myself some advice, and stock tips, really turn my life around.
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png But I fell off the bike around 2008... had to live through the great recession all over again. Bad times.
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Then a fella called Jack the Ripper found the bike in the past, and used it to come back to the present.
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png And now I can't wait to get rid of him. Before he gets rid of me!
Jack the Ripper Promo.png
On offer accepted:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Whew, Ol' Gil dodged a bullet that time.
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Well, more like a butcher knife, actually.
On offer declined:
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png Well, that's it for Ol' Gil. Not just financially this time, but mortally.
Tapped Out Gil Icon.png On the plus side, at least I won't live long enough to go bankrupt.

The Time Traveler's Knife[edit]

The Time Traveler's Knife Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Jack the Ripper's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png The future is amazing.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png They found a way to make it even more filth-ridden and depressing than nineteenth century London.
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Naw, that's just Springfield... voted "Most Squalid Town in America" twenty-nine years running.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png And what part of town is most full of innocent, unsuspecting victims?
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png That would be Evergreen Terrace. Follow me and I'll show you!
Task: Make Jack the Ripper Stalk Prey (4h)
Tapped Out Kent Brockman Icon.png Breaking news... Lenny Leonard has been brutally attacked. Our cameras caught his last moments.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Who did this to you Lenny?
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png It was... Hey, am I on camera? Hi Mom!
Tapped Out Lenny Icon - Dying.png Aaarghhh.
Tapped Out Wiggum Icon.png Okay, the killer's name is "Aaarghhh".
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Time Traveler's Knife Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Jack the Ripper's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png I'm having a bad day.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png There I was about to brutally kill Lenny when he tripped on a sprinkler hose, falling on a shovel that cut his own throat.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png I didn't even get my name in the papers. Very frustrating.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png Well, if at first you don't succeed, rip, rip again.
Task: Make Jack the Ripper Stalk Prey (4h)
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png A note?! On the person I was going to kill?!
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png "Stay out of my town. – S.S."
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png I hate you, whoever you are. But heck, I respect you.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Time Traveler's Knife Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Jack the Ripper's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png I found another potential victim, but this one is also already dead.
Tapped Out Hans Moleman Icon.png I'm not dead. I'm just very, very slow.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png Well, I am a murderous killer from beyond time. Aren't you terrified?
Tapped Out Hans Moleman Icon.png Not really. We already have a serial killer, the Springfield Strangler.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png This town isn't big enough for two of us! The Springfield Strangler must die!
Task: Make Jack the Ripper Search for the Springfield Strangler (8h)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Time Traveler's Knife Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Jack the Ripper's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png My search for the Springfield Strangler has been a bust the size of Queen Victoria's knockers.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png Time for a break. Little girl, where is the nearest music hall or brass band gazebo?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Well, there's a bowling alley with karaoke.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png No music hall?! I'm so frustrated I could disembowel someone!
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png Excuse me?
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png Er, I mean, I just love theater.
Task: Make Jack the Ripper Miss Victorian Entertainment (12h, Scotland Yard)
Task: Make Lisa Visit Scotland Yard (4h, Scotland Yard)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

The Time Traveler's Knife Pt. 5[edit]

After tapping on Jack the Ripper's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png I am going back to visit my own time and place.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png I miss the food, the music, the goiters, the occasional outbreaks of cholera.
Tapped Out Jack the Ripper Icon.png But before I go, I'm going to stab the ugliest man in town.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png It's going to be another bad day for Moe.
Task: Make Jack the Ripper Chase the Strangler Through Time (24h, Scotland Yard)
Task: Make Citizens Live in Fear (4h, Homes)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Trickle up Economics[edit]

Trickle up Economics Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Arthur Fortune's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png Once upon a time, my megastores were the most popular places in the world.
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png People came to buy music, drink coffee, and fall in love.
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png Then along came a certain on-line retailer, and sayonara megastores.
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png At least I hold the record for climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro while doing a handstand.
Task: Make Arthur Fortune Miss His Megastores (1h, Fortune Megastore)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Trickle up Economics Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Arthur Fortune's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png I refuse to surrender to the internet. I love opening megastores, even if no one ever goes into them anymore.
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png And if I'm opening a new megastore, I need to do a huge over-the-top stunt to promote it.
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png I need some ideas from someone who's not afraid to have me take a few risks.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Did someone mention total disregard for your personal safety?
Task: Make Arthur Fortune Workshop Next Personal Achievement (12h, Fortune Megastore)
Task: Make Bart Suggest Very Risky Stunts (4h, Fortune Megastore)
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png Pack my bags, I've got a hippopotamus to tame. The child has spoken.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Trickle up Economics Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Arthur Fortune's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png Today I open my newest Megastore.
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png It's an almost certain money loser, but so what?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png I'll promote it by handing out free money -- an absolutely guaranteed money loss.
Task: Make Arthur Fortune Hand Out Dollars (8h, Fortune Megastore)
Task: Make Homer Get in Line Multiple Times (4h, Fortune Megastore)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Trickle up Economics Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Arthur Fortune's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png I love giving away money. Here, have some more.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Well, it's a lot to carry, but anything for a friend.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Pfft. I thought you were a thrill seeker. What's dangerous about throwing cash off a building?
Tapped Out Arthur Fortune Icon.png Once again, I shall listen to a dangerous child and make it rain cash.
Task: Make Arthur Fortune Give Dollars for Everyone (4h, Fortune Megastore)
Task: Make Arthur Fortune Plan Another Megastore (1h, Fortune Megastore)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Nobody's Home[edit]

Nobody's Home Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Guy Incognito's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Guy Incognito Icon.png Greetings, Springfield. Guy Incognito here, in search of a quaff of tasty ale.
Tapped Out Guy Incognito Icon.png I seek a delightful saloon, run by a friendly tavern-keeper.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Hey, don't forget the undelightful hellholes run by psychotic loners.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Plus, Moe's now has a working bathroom.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png It's down the street in the public park, but I'll hand you a roll of toilet paper.
Task: Make Guy Incognito Seek Beverages (4h)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Nobody's Home Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Guy Incognito's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Smithers, there's a likely-looking fellow to hire at the plant.
Tapped Out Smithers Icon.png I'm pretty sure that's just Homer Simpson in a disguise.
Tapped Out Mr. Burns Icon.png Nonsense. Look at that rakish mustache and trendy bowler hat -- clearly he's a man of distinction.
Tapped Out Guy Incognito Icon.png Is there beer at this nuclear plant?
Tapped Out Lenny Icon.png Oh, yeah.
Task: Make Guy Incognito Work at the Nuclear Plant (12h, Control Building)
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Hey, look... I don't have to go to work. I'm already at the nuclear plant.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Aren't you curious about someone who's your exact double?
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png When you grow up you'll learn that the secret to a successful career is never questioning your exact double.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Nobody's Home Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Guy Incognito's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Guy Incognito Icon.png Everyone keeps saying I'm just like some oaf named "Homer Simpson".
Tapped Out Guy Incognito Icon.png Which is ridiculous, because I'm determined and focused on my task and...
Tapped Out Guy Incognito Icon.png I say, that dog has a puffy tail! Get it!
Task: Make Guy Incognito Chase a Puffy Tail (8h)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Nobody's Home Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Guy Incognito's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Guy Incognito Icon.png That puffy-tailed dog was delightful, but my fingers are exhausted from all the petting.
Tapped Out Guy Incognito Icon.png Time for some finger calisthenics!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png And then a beer?
Tapped Out Guy Incognito Icon.png Excellent idea, my good doppelganger.
Task: Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern
Task: Make Guy Incognito Do Finger Stretches (1h, The Nag and Weasel)
Task: Make Homer Seek Beverages (4h, Moe's Tavern)
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Whaaa??? Two Homers? One of them with a mustache and hat.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png I can throw them both out, try to figure out what's going on, or just pretend nothing is wrong and sell them beer.
Tapped Out Guy Incognito Icon.png I barely know you, but I've got a pretty good guess which way you'll go.
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

The London Spy[edit]

After buying Giant Ferris Wheel:
Tapped Out Milhouse Icon.png How come this Ferris wheel isn't moving?
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png My dad got on the bottom car.
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png There isn't a Ferris wheel in the world big enough to turn with him on it.
Task: Tap Giant Ferris Wheel
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

South Beach Suave[edit]

South Beach Suave Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Raoul's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png Abe Simpson, my good friend, so good to see you!
Tapped Out Grampa Icon - Startled.png Raoul, you South Beach lounge lizard! What are you doing here instead of Miami?
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png The times and the tides are changing. Literally, the rising oceans flooded my condo.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png That'll never happen here. We keep the water off the beach with giant piles of trash.
Task: Make Raoul Scout Out the Beach (24h, Raoul's Penthouse)
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png There certainly are some repugnant piles of filth on this beach.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Why are you looking at me when you say that?
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

South Beach Suave Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Raoul's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png The Springfield beach is not for me, Abe. Nor for anyone who is not a professional trash picker.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png So come hang out at the Retirement Castle. We've got some lovely wrinklettes who'd love to meet an eligible hottie like you.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Here, take a look through our latest resident directory.
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png Well, if I must.
Task: Make Raoul Be Disgusted by Women (4h)
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png You didn't like any of the gals? Not even Bertha Hagenstraupper, the belle of the Alzheimers Ward?
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png As I told you last time we met, women aren't exactly my thing.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Big deal. At my age, NOTHING is my thing.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

South Beach Suave Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Raoul's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png This town is no place for a stylish playboy of uncertain nationality.
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png There is no Cuban cigar store, no place for a café con leche, and nobody else wearing flowery shirts with parrots.
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png There's only one thing to do. Play ukulele in my apartment. Care to join me Abe?
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png You bet! I love ukelele! Met her in the war and boy was she a great kisser.
Task: Make Raoul Play Ukelele (12h, Raoul's Penthouse)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

South Beach Suave Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Raoul's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Don't you miss your Miami penthouse condo, Raoul?
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png Oh, I bought a penthouse condo here from Mr. Burns.
Tapped Out Raoul Icon.png It comes with trap door that drops you thirty-seven stories.
Task: Make Raoul Lounge Atop Penthouse (8h, Raoul's Penthouse)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20

Mono on the Beach[edit]

After buying Smooches on the Beach:
Tapped Out Dr. Hibbert Icon.png Be careful who you kiss. This hotel is swimming in mononucleosis.
Task: Make Springfielders Enjoy a Romantic Brunch [x3] (4h, Smooches on the Beach)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Swelldorado[edit]

After buying Swelldorado:
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png Finally, a night off without the kids.
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png Unless they torture our secret location out of Grampa.
Tapped Out Grampa Icon.png Yep, I'll spill the beans if someone sneezes at me.
Task: Make Homer and Marge Enjoy a Night Alone (4h, Swelldorado)
Task: Make Lisa and Bart Ruin Their Parent's Night (4h, Swelldorado)
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png You can't leave us alone at home!
Tapped Out Bart Icon.png Who'll check for monsters under our beds? Grampa? The man can barely bend over.
Tapped Out Marge Icon.png How did you know we were here, anyway?
Tapped Out Lisa Icon.png We just followed the objective.
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Mexican Duffman[edit]

Mexican Duffman Pt. 1[edit]

After tapping on Mexican Duffman's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Mexican Duffman Icon.png El Duffman Mexicano esta aqui por una fiesta grande de Cerveza Duff. ¡Ay si!
Tapped Out Homer Icon.png What's the difference between Mexican Duff and U.S. Duff?
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png You know how Mexican colas are made with real sugar while American colas are made with corn syrup?
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Well, Mexican Duff is made with real hops, and U.S. Duff is made with real nothing.
Tapped Out Duffman Icon.png Oh yeah!
Tapped Out Mexican Duffman Icon.png ¡Ay si!
Task: Reach Level 15 and Build Moe's Tavern
Task: Make Mexican Duffman Fiesta at Moe's (4h, Moe's Tavern)
Task: Make Duffman Go Off-Duty at Moe's (4h, Moe's Tavern)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Mexican Duffman Pt. 2[edit]

After tapping on Mexican Duffman's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Helen Lovejoy Icon.png Another foreign Duff in town? We're still recovering from Jamaican Duff.
Tapped Out Skinner Icon.png I cracked three vertebrae trying to limbo.
Tapped Out Agnes Icon.png Don't blame Jamaican Duffman. Who could've guessed you had a spine?
Tapped Out Lady Duff Icon.png Presenting "Duff Michelada", the perfect drink for the Miche-ladies. A delicious blend of tomato, spices...
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png And, unfortunately, Duff.
Task: Make Mexican Duffman Blend Duff Michelada (8h)
Task: Make Women Enjoy a Fiesta at Moe's [x3] (4h, Moe's Tavern)
If the user has Lady Duff: Task: Make Lady Duff Party at Moe's (12h, Moe's Tavern)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Mexican Duffman Pt. 3[edit]

After tapping on Mexican Duffman's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Duffman Icon.png Mexican Duffman, we have a problem!
Tapped Out Duffman Icon.png American men love your free-spirited cerveza, and American women love your macho style.
Tapped Out Duffman Icon.png You're taking my job, just like a typical immigrant!
Tapped Out Duffman Icon.png I'm not going to take it. Oh yeah! Not!
Task: Make Duffman Have a Pelvic Thrust Off With Mexican Duffman (4h, Moe's Tavern)
Task: Make Mexican Duffman Have a Pelvic Thrust Off With Duffman (4h, Moe's Tavern)
Task: Make Adults Enjoy a Duffman Battle at Moe's [x3] (4h, Moe's Tavern)
Quest reward: Cash.png100 and XP.png10

Mexican Duffman Pt. 4[edit]

After tapping on Mexican Duffman's exclamation mark:
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png Duffman, please, you don't have to fight Mexican Duffman just because he's an immigrant.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png There's work enough for both of you in this great country.
Tapped Out Moe Icon.png If there's one thing America will never run out of, it's drunks.
Task: Make Duffman Accept Immigrants (4h, Moe's Tavern)
Task: Make Mexican Duffman Siesta at the Brewery (12h, Duff Brewery)
Quest reward: Cash.png200 and XP.png20