- For other uses of "Springfield Heights", see Springfield Heights (disambiguation).
| Springfield Heights
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Springfield Heights is a questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Springfield Heights content update. It unlocks the Springfield Heights expansion.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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Smithers, what are those baboons doing in the break room?
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Unfortunately sir, those are humans. The monkeys we trained have all been poached by competitors.
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I drink your milkshake. And I'll drink your milkshake. And I'll drink your milkshake.
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Okay Homer, we all saw "There Will Be Blood".
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And read Upton Sinclair's novel Oil!
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No wait, none of us did that.
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I don't know what you guys are talking about.
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All I know is that while you're doing it, I'm using this slanty straw I invented... to drink your milkshakes!
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That's Homer Simpson, sir. He's pretty much the one baboon our competitors didn't get.
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Homer Simpson, eh? Well he's given me an idea -- to reuse an idea I had twenty years ago.
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| Task: "Build Burns Slant-Drilling Co.". It takes 6 seconds.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Mr. Burns' exclamation mark
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We struck oil, Smithers! Finally I can join the trillionaires club. I just wish it wasn't so lonely at the clubhouse.
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Just me and those freshly killed endangered species waiting to be stuffed and/or cooked. Maybe I should hire staff.
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Sir, an oil based economy usually brings two things to town: millionaires and an influx of young, brawny single men.
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So we'll both have something to look forward to.
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Err, I'm not sure I follow you, sir.
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I'll have my financial peers and you'll have a lower wage due to increased competition. A Win-Win!
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But more millionaires could be a threat! Unless I owned their homes. Then I could be their...
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Smithers, what's the rich version of slum lord? Eh, let's just stick with slum lord.
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Find me a real estate agent!
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| Task: "Build Red Blazer Realty". It takes 6 seconds.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Cookie Kwan's exclamation mark
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Mr. Burns as a client? Finally, someone with the money, the gumption, and the money to build homes suitable for me to sell.
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Homes? These people buy homes for their dogs! I don't need homes - I need mansions! Although I will need some homes for their dogs.
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The only area that fits that description is Springfield Heights. And lucky for you it's on my turf – the West Side.
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Ah, so that's west, is it? We've never really had a compass direction in this town before.
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Unfortunately it's separated from the town by a chain of mountains.
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If only there were someone in Springfield known to occasionally walk around throwing dynamite.
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| Task: "Make Homer Clear the Tunnel". The job takes 6 seconds.
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Thank you, Homer! Your haphazard use of explosives has cleared the tunnel.
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It's collapsed before, and certainly isn't more structurally sound now... but it's open.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After completing Pt. 3
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Glor? Spang? Kleeb? What store is this and why does it only sell rejected fight sound effects?
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That's the Danish furniture store Shøp! They sell expensive-looking furniture and cheap horsemeat.
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Classy on the outside, trashy on the inside – that's my target clientele!
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But where will all the trashy on the outside and trashy on the inside people shop? We can't afford those prices.
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Then get off your lazy butt and get a second job. We all have them. It's the American way.
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What's your second job?
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Real estate agent. My first job is blazer model.
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More work?!? I don't like the American way. Why can't we just ONCE adopt the Canadian way?
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| Message
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Tap on Shøp to produce Furniture. Use Furniture to build a Deluxe Condo.
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Task: "Make Springfielders Collect Furniture at Shøp" (x2).
Task: "Build a Deluxe Condo". It takes 2 minutes.
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| After completing the first task
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Mr. Burns, I've some Excel news.
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It's pronounced "Excellent." You left off the "lent."
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No, I mean I crunched the numbers with Excel and realized that if we build "luxury" condos instead of mansions...
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... We can charge those moneybags full home prices for glorified apartments!
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Excellent. See, that's how you say it.
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| Message
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New Springfield Heights items available in the store!
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Quest reward:  5 and 10
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| After tapping on Comic Book Guy's exclamation mark
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Gentrification is coming. I can smell it.
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Allow me to try - I took an online sommelier course in nerd scents. Yes, I smell small-batch pour-over coffee and free wifi.
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*sniff sniff* Two hour limit with purchase.
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It's perfect. First the coffee shops come, then the brunch places, then the dog groomers, and then the dog brunch places.
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Task: "Unlock Coffee Shop in Springfield Heights".
Task: "Make Springfielders Collect Lattes".
Task: "Upgrade a Deluxe Condo to Level 2".
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| After unlocking the Coffee Shop
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| Message
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Tap on Coffee Shop to produce Lattes. Use Lattes and Furniture to upgrade a Deluxe Condo!
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| After completing all tasks
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Oh shoot. My wallet's too full again and won't close. Quick sweetie, let's buy this here penthouse suite!
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No, Daddy! Gross. I can't film my next reality show in a condo! People expect a certain level of class from reality TV.
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Plus I need something big enough to fit an underwater confessional cam.
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Quest reward:  10 and 10
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| After tapping on Cookie Kwan's exclamation mark
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Most wealthy people have forgotten how to do the most basic of tasks.
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What? I wasn't listening. Smithers! Listen for me!
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That's why we need to build something for the 1%'s assistants, trust fund managers, professional meat cutters, and mail order mistresses.
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Task: "Unlock the Institute of Technology in Springfield Heights".
Task: "Make Springfielders Produce Smart Devices" (x2).
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| After completing the first task
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| Message
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Tap on the Institute of Technology to produce Smart Devices.
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| After completing all tasks
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What is it, Apu? You stopped mopping. Is the bucket ready to be poured back into the Squishee machine?
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I felt a chill - like Springfield finally decided to join the tech crunch. I'm not going to be the only Nahasapeemapetilon in the phone book for much longer.
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Quest reward:  8 and 10
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| After tapping on Cookie Kwan's exclamation mark
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Despite my love of the West Side, rich people tend to embrace eastern traditions – sushi, yoga, purchasing girls' underwear from a vending machine.
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I did yoga once back in the seventies. Only back then they called it yogurt, and it was a food not an exercise routine.
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I can also confuse yoga for Yogi Bear. You wanna hear that one?
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Task: "Unlock L.A. Bodyworks in Springfield Heights".
Task: "Make Springfielders Produce Yoga Mats" (x5).
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| After completing the first task
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Tap on L.A. Bodyworks to produce Yoga Mats.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Cookie Kwan's exclamation mark
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My beautiful wealthy oasis is almost complete. Now we just need a healthy supply of prescription drugs for our bored housewives to get addicted to.
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Hi everybody!
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No, your face is already on too many bench ads. You've been sullied by the butts of the poor!
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I'd never stoop to a bench ad. Now a stoop ad, that's thinking outside the box. Hmm, a box ad...
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Task: "Unlock John's Pharmaceuticals in Springfield Heights".
Task: "Make Springfielders Produce Pharmaceuticals" (x5).
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| After completing the first task
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| Message
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Tap on John's Pharmaceuticals to produce Pharmaceuticals.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Cookie Kwan's exclamation mark
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We haven't had a single wealthy person move in! I don't deserve this real estate blazer or hot air balloon. Hot air balloons are for closers...and balloon enthusiasts.
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Kent Brockman here, reporting on the public outcry for the rich and famous.
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What will bring the elite class to this one horse town? Two horses? In this reporter's opinion – three!
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Of course!
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The horses? That was my idea! It's copywritten!
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No! We need a dog and pony show! But instead of dogs and ponies, we have celebrities and celebrity ponies.
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Nothing attracts rich people more than red carpet events.
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Task: "Unlock Heights Theater in Springfield Heights".
Task: "Make Springfielders Produce Hollywood Awards" (x5).
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| After completing the first task
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| Message
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Tap on Heights Theater to produce Hollywood Awards.
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| After completing all tasks
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All the celebrities had Native Americans accept their awards on their behalf to protest Springfield Heights being built on an ancient burial ground.
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Don't they realize that a haunted house counts as a built-in alarm system? It's a perk!
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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