  
Heaven and Hell
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- For other uses of "Heaven and Hell", see Heaven and Hell.
| Heaven and Hell
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Heaven and Hell is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Love and War content update.
Dialogue[edit]
| Between February 21, 2021 and March 10, 2021
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What am I going to do? Temperance is falling for Artie. My beloved protagonist is going to end up with the wrong man!
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Yeah, it's a literary catastrophe. So, what's for dinner?
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Why are you even here? I told you that I would call YOU when I'm ready to talk.
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I thought you WERE ready.
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When did you think that happened? When you brought me a half-eaten box of chocolates or when you climbed naked into our bedroom window?
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No, like many developments in our marriage, I thought it happened when I was at Moe's. I better go back and double-check.
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Task: "Collect Beer Barrels" (x115).
Task: "Make Marge Think of a Plan". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Homer Go to Moe's". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern, Moe's Express, O'Flanagan's Pub, The Gridiron, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Okay, so writing Cyrus into all this didn't help anything, but what more can I do? Those two were meant for each other.
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I suppose I could try to write Cyrus out of the book... A bus comes out of nowhere? A gardening mishap? A garden comes out of nowhere?
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I have no experience writing myself out of a corner. I need to talk to a professional!
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At your service.
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Not you. I need to talk to Esme Delacroix!
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
Harpoon Hill
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| After completing Pt. 1
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So, Marge, how's the sequel coming?
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I've hit a bit of a snag. My protagonist is about to fall for the wrong man. How can I make her see that she's making a mistake?
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Well, whenever I need to give my heroine a nudge in the right direction, I introduce a new villain. How many scoundrels are in your book?
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Umm, just the one I suppose.
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One?! Oh, Marge, remember my rule of scoundrel thumb or "scumb": A scoundrel a chapter keeps your reader a captor.
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Just create a new villain who steals your protagonist away, only to be thwarted by your knight in shining armor.
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That's really good advice! I can never thank you enough.
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It's fine if you just pay my consulting fee.
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Yeah, that's what I meant when I said I can't thank you enough.
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Task: "Collect Beer Barrels" (x115).
Task: "Make Marge Get Back to Writing". The job takes place at the Simpson House or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Esme Delacroix is owned: Task: "Make Esme Delacroix Collect Her Fee". The job takes place at Books! Books! And Additional Books! or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Now, I just need to think up a new villain who can turn Cyrus back into the hero!
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Of course! Captain Mordecai can come back. That's new! Okay here goes...
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*types* Captain Mordecai, relentless in his search to track Temperance, stumbles across a small town. After docking his boat, he calls to a local fisherman...
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You there! What's the name of this hell-hole town?
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Yar, ye've docked at the bustling port of Springfield. What brings a fine specimen of captainhood like yerself here on this fine afternoon?
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I'm looking for some lost property. Perhaps you've seen her. About yea-high, easy on the eyes, with yardarm of ocean-blue locks.
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I know who ye be referring tee. Don't know where she resides but check the dive bar known as Moe's. Her husband is frequently seen thereabouts.
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Husband?! Be he a righteous fightin' man or a cowardly peewee?
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A pee wee he be.
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I see. Tee hee.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Enjoy the View animated job
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| After completing Pt. 2
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Which one of you lousy, soon-to-be-dead, slobgoblins calls himself Homer?
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Ooh, somebody's in trouble. I'm sure glad my name isn't — hey wait, that's my name!
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So, you're the one who stole my wife from me? Not sure what she sees in you. Not much to look at.
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I'll have you know that women say I'm a LOT to look at.
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Enough! Draw your sword. I'm gonna gut you like a fish for laying your hands on Temperance.
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Temperance? Oh, you mean the other Marge. I never touched her.
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You mean my Temperance has been faithful to me?
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Uh, well now I didn't say that.
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Then draw yer sword!
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Hold on there, Popeye and Pinkeye. If youse are gonna fight to the death, there's a two-drink minimum.
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Task: "Collect Beer Barrels" (x115).
Task: "Make Homer Catch Captain Mordecai Up". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern, Moe's Express, O'Flanagan's Pub, The Gridiron, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Captain Mordecai is owned: Task: "Make Captain Mordecai Listen to Homer". The job takes place at Moe's Tavern, Moe's Express, O'Flanagan's Pub, The Gridiron, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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So you're having trouble with your wife, too?
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Big time. She kicked me out.
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Women. Can't live with 'em. Can't burn 'em at the stake. Have you tried showing an interest in something she likes?
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All the time! Marge likes me, and I show a lot of interest in myself.
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My Temperance loves whales. So, every so often, I go kill one for her. As a way to show her my love.
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Hmm. Kill a whale for Marge. Are you Japanese?
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
Tunnel of Love Cave
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| After completing Pt. 3
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Now that Mordecai has been talking about Temperance, he's primed to find her. Then Cyrus will save the day and Temperance will go back to him.
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Alright, time to get Captain Mordecai on the move.
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*types* Captain Mordecai, feeling a renewed sense of purpose, prepares to set off to find Temperance...
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Homer, you have filled me with a renewed sense of purpose to find Temperance. Would you care to accompany me on my quest?
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Right after this beer. And one more after that.
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What in the blazes?! Barkeep, the woman in the box there...make her louder!
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Yeah, yeah. Keep your sword in its scabbard. *turns up TV volume*
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So if you like what you see, come on down to Knockers. "For the wings", right? *winks at camera*
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By Neptune's whiskers. She'd make a mighty figurehead on my bow. Is that how maidens dress in this town?
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Welcome to the twentywhateveritis century, Ahab. You should see what they wear in the yoga place down the block. They call them "tights" for a reason.
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Is it because they're tight?
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Prob'ly.
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What are we waiting for? Yoga ho!
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Task: "Collect Beer Barrels" (x155).
Task: "Make Homer Go to a Yoga Studio". The job takes place at Downward Doghouse Yoga Studio or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Captain Mordecai is owned: Task: "Make Captain Mordecai Follow Homer". The job takes place at Downward Doghouse Yoga Studio or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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Two can play at this game.
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*furiously types* Captain Mordecai does NOT go to a yoga studio to ogle women! He turns around and resumes his quest to find Temperance...
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Homer, are you sure we shouldn't resume our quest to find Temperance?
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You were the one who told me to show an interest in the same things that Marge likes...
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Marge likes yoga, so we're going to watch yoga, and that's the ONLY reason we're going to watch yoga.
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I would argue with him but none of this makes a bit of sense.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
 1
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| After completing Pt. 4
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So...this is yoga?
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Yep.
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Do they mind if we watch?
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Maybe. But how do you explain all the piggy nose-marks on the windows?
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They all look like you made them.
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Also, maybe. Either way, I think we better sign up.
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Task: "Collect Beer Barrels" (x195).
Task: "Make Homer Take In a Yoga Class". The job takes place at Downward Doghouse Yoga Studio or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Captain Mordecai is owned: Task: "Make Captain Mordecai Ogle Women". The job takes place at Downward Doghouse Yoga Studio or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
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My arms and legs feel so limber. That was great! I can see now why Marge comes here.
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I signed up for a year's membership!
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You were right, Imaginary Weirdo. I have been taking Marge's needs for granted. Now I need to prove to her I'm willing to change and be a better man.
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Magnificent.
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Are you listening to me or staring at the yoga pants again?
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Just magnificent.
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Quest reward: 200 and 20
Downward Doghouse Yoga Studio
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Currency-earning jobs[edit]
| Task
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Character(s)
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Time
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Location(s)
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Reward
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| Collect Empty Beer Barrels From Garbage
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Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, Grampa, Ned, Moe, Apu
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4h
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Dumpster 1, Dumpster 2, Brown House
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 5, 45
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| Rob a Brewery
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Esme Delacroix, Marge Ziff, Captain Mordecai
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Duff Gardens, Duff Brewery, Brown House
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8, 70
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