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Dark Matters

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Dark Matters
Tapped Out Quest Information
Level: 5
Update: SciFi
Requirement(s): myPad
Required characters: Homer
Optional characters: Frank Grimes
Next quest(s): Across the Multiverse
What's the Matter? Pt. 1
Smack to the Future Pt. 1
Grime and Punishment

Dark Matters is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the SciFi content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After starting the update
Professor Frink Ladies and gentleflavens, mark this day on your calendar! For today begins a glorious new age of scientific discovery!
Homer Sorry, I already marked today as Taco Tuesday. And I wrote it in pen.
Professor Frink Sir, I don't actually care about your salsa-stained calendar. I was trying to sound dramatic.
Homer - Serious Try harder.
Professor Frink - Happy Very well. Behold my latest invention... drum roll please... with the drumming and the rolling... the PolyVac!
Lisa Neat! What is it, some kind of super-computer-controlled particle detector for studying black holes?
Professor Frink - Embarrassed Actually, little girl, it's a super-computer-controlled, uh... yes, exactly. What she said.
Task: "Build the PolyVac". It takes 6 seconds.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1
Professor Frink Now, all we need to study a black hole is a, uh, black hole to study.
Bart - Rolling Eyes Black holes suck!
Marge - Annoyed Bart! Watch your language, unless you meant that as a scientific observation.
Bart Rest assured, madam, I did not.
Professor Frink The potty-mouthed lad is correct. Black holes absorb, or colloquially, "suck," everything within their event horizon.
Bart - Angry Dammit! I hate accidentally making scientific observations.
Marge - Scared Professor, is it safe to have a black hole within just a few squares of our schools and peanut carts?
Homer Relax, Marge, he's a scientist! He wouldn't ask us to do anything dangerous.
Professor Frink Quite right, Homer. Now grab a mouthful of that plutonium over there and spit it into this boiling acid to initiate the black hole implosion
Homer - Mouth Full I'm way ahead of you!
Task: "Make Homer Spit Plutonium Into Acid to Form the Black Hole". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 6 seconds.
Professor Frink Now, using the PolyVac, I will prove once and for all that nothing can escape the black hole!
Lisa - Curious But didn't the great physicist Stephen Hawking theorize that black holes emit particles known as Hawking radiation?
Professor Frink - Angry Hawking Shmawking! I'm sick of that know-it-all with his fancy awards and his show-off chair. There's no such thing as Hawking Radiation.
Hawking Radiation That's not what I heard.
Professor Frink Who said that, in a strangely familiar computerized voice?
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Stephen Hawking

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2
Professor Frink Great Caesar's Gloiven, it's Stephen Hawking! B-but how did you get here?
Lisa - Shocked The Hawking Radiation condensed into a physical manifestation of Hawking himself!
Stephen Hawking - Happy Thereby conclusively proving the existence of my namesake radiation. Now I'm sure to win the Nobel Prize, and maybe the even more prestigious Hawking Medal.
Professor Frink - Sad I've never even won the Frink Medal.
Stephen Hawking I surmise black holes are actually terminal endpoints of wormholes leading to parallel universes. We'll need someone brave and expendable to test my theory.
Homer - Annoyed Not me, buddy! I'm sick of doing tasks. How come Moleman never has to do anything?
Hans Moleman Yes, pick me, please, I'm begging you.
Stephen Hawking This sounds like a job for Homer Simpson.
Homer - Serious Grrr. Okay. But I swear, crawling into this singularity is the last task I'll ever do!
Stephen Hawking Probably. Now wriggle on in there.
Homer - Sad Sheesh, this wormhole is kind of tight... can you let out the event horizon a little?
Stephen Hawking - Intense I said wriggle!
Task: "Make Homer Wriggle Through the Wormhole". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 6 seconds.
Homer - Annoyed I hope you're happy, Hawking. I proved your theory correct. I made it through the wormhole and lived three lifetimes in another dimension.
Stephen Hawking And all you missed was Taco Tuesday.
Homer - Sad This is the worst day of my lives!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3
Stephen Hawking - Happy The multiverse is ripe for exploration!
Stephen Hawking So much work to do! Homer, imagine all the work you've ever done, then multiply it by infinity.
Homer Zero times infinity? How much is that?
Stephen Hawking - Intense About 37. Get busy!
Task: "Make Homer Do 37 Experiments for Hawking".
Homer - Furious Forget it, Egghead! No more tasks for me!
Homer - Annoyed From now on, whenever anyone sends me on a task, I'm going to refuse!
Task: "Make Homer Refuse to Do a Task".
Homer - Proud No! I refuse! Heh heh.
Message Goal Complete! Congratulations, you completed "Make Homer Refuse to Do a Task." Collect your reward!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10
Homer - D'oh D'oh!
Homer - Thoughtful I've gotta get more clever here. To be truly lazy, I'll need to assemble an all-star team of super-dupes to take over my workload.
Task: "Make Homer Kidnap Alternate Homers from Other Universes". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 6 seconds.
Homer I'm back. Or should I say, WE'RE back! Meet the alternate universe all-stars!
Strongman Homer Hello.
Evil Homer Charmed.
Cool Homer What up, Ho-bro.
King-Size Homer *CHEWING AND BELCHING SOUNDS*
Barbarian Homer Glargggh!
Lisa - Confused Wow, two of them couldn't speak at all. Yet they still seemed slightly smarter than Dad.
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Next Quest: Alternate Homers

Pt. 5[edit]

Previous Quest: Alternate Homers
After completing Alternate Homers
Bart - Surprised Look, there's something else coming through the space sphincter! A real live robot!
Robot - Good I AM ROBOT NUMBER 1.
Lisa - Shocked Here comes another!
Robot - Good I AM ROBOT NUMBER 2.
Homer - Thoughtful I wonder what the next guy's name will be.
Robot - Good I AM ROBOT NUMBER 4. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME ROBOT NUMBER 3.
Bart - Happy There comes another... and another!
Stephen Hawking - Curious That makes five.
Professor Frink - Angry Quit showing off, Hawking.
Comic Book Guy A veritable army of robots from a parallel universe. What could go wrong?
Comic Book Guy ...I said in the most sarcastic way imaginable.
Comic Book Guy - Sad ...Which is how I say everything, so I can understand if there was some measure of confusion regarding--
Robot ROBOTS... ATTACK!!!!!!!
Comic Book Guy - Happy Swish.
Brockman I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.
Stephen Hawking - Intense Fight back! Every able-bodied man, woman, and child!
Homer - Annoyed That's everyone but you!
Stephen Hawking - Intense Less talking, more fighting.
Task: "Tap Some Robots" (x5).
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 6[edit]

After completing Pt. 5
Homer - Serious My Homers versus your robots!
Stephen Hawking - Annoyed They're not my robots.
King-Size Homer - Surprised Help! I'm being beaten to a king-sized pulp!
Lisa - Alarmed It's no use! There's dozens more robots pouring out of the wormhole!
Homer - Scared Tapping isn't working, and it's our only interface!
Professor Frink I have an idea!
Stephen Hawking I have a better idea. Fire up the PolyVac!
Task: "Use the SciFighter".
Lisa - Shocked What was that flash?
Stephen Hawking A burst of Hawking Radiation. I destroyed the robots, proving once again that brute force is no match for the human mind...
Stephen Hawking ...when accompanied by a tremendously powerful particle-beam weapon.
Robot Revenge!
Lisa - Alarmed Oh no! They're still coming!
Stephen Hawking - Intense Guard the PolyVac until it can recharge for another Hawking burst!
Bart Less talking, more Hawking!
Quest reward: Cash100 and XP10

Pt. 7[edit]

After completing Pt. 6
Lisa Professor Hawking, can't we stop the robot invasion by just closing the wormhole?
Stephen Hawking Easier said than done. I recruited a local expert on String Theory to advise us, but her analysis is somewhat difficult to follow.
Crazy Cat Lady BALLSOFSTRING! BALLSOFSTRING!
Stephen Hawking For now, our only hope of survival is to place a highly skilled nuclear engineer in control of the PolyVac. Homer, can we count on you?
Homer I'm your man! I'm really good at pressing buttons! Unless they're close together. Or far apart.
Frank Grimes - Stern Oh, God. You're relying on Homer Simpson to keep us alive? I'm the only competent engineer in this entire town!
Stephen Hawking - Surprised Competent? Didn't I pass your grave already?
Message Check out the store for Frank Grimes, Springfield Nuclear Plant's first and last competent employee!
Task: "Make Homer Relax in the Brown House". The job takes place at the Brown House and takes 2 hours.
If Frank Grimes is owned: Task: "Make Frank Grimes Prepare High Voltage Defenses". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 4 hours.
Quest Reward: Matter25/Chronon25/Antimatter25 and XP10