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Dark Matters
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Dark Matters
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Tapped Out Quest Information
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Dark Matters is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the SciFi content update.
Dialogue[edit]
After starting the update
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Ladies and gentleflavens, mark this day on your calendar! For today begins a glorious new age of scientific discovery!
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Sorry, I already marked today as Taco Tuesday. And I wrote it in pen.
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Sir, I don't actually care about your salsa-stained calendar. I was trying to sound dramatic.
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Try harder.
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Very well. Behold my latest invention… drum roll please… with the drumming and the rolling… the PolyVac!
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Neat! What is it, some kind of super-computer-controlled particle detector for studying black holes?
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Actually, little girl, it's a super-computer-controlled, uh… yes, exactly. What she said.
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Task: "Build the PolyVac". It takes 6 seconds.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After completing Pt. 1
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Now, all we need to study a black hole is a, uh, black hole to study.
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Black holes suck!
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>Bart! Watch your language, unless you meant that as a scientific observation.
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Rest assured, madam, I did not.
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The potty-mouthed lad is correct. Black holes absorb, or colloquially, "suck," everything within their event horizon.
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Dammit! I hate accidentally making scientific observations.
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Professor, is it safe to have a black hole within just a few squares of our schools and peanut carts?
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Relax, Marge, he's a scientist! He wouldn't ask us to do anything dangerous.
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Quite right, Homer. Now grab a mouthful of that plutonium over there and spit it into this boiling acid to initiate the black hole implosion
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I'm way ahead of you!
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Task: "Make Homer Spit Plutonium Into Acid to Form the Black Hole". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 6 seconds.
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Now, using the PolyVac, I will prove once and for all that nothing can escape the black hole!
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But didn't the great physicist Stephen Hawking theorize that black holes emit particles known as Hawking radiation?
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Hawking Shmawking! I'm sick of that know-it-all with his fancy awards and his show-off chair. There's no such thing as Hawking Radiation.
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That's not what I heard.
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Who said that, in a strangely familiar computerized voice?
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Quest reward: 100 and 10 Stephen Hawking
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After completing Pt. 2
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Great Caesar's Gloiven, it's Stephen Hawking! B-but how did you get here?
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The Hawking Radiation condensed into a physical manifestation of Hawking himself!
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Thereby conclusively proving the existence of my namesake radiation. Now I'm sure to win the Nobel Prize, and maybe the even more prestigious Hawking Medal.
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I've never even won the Frink Medal.
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I surmise black holes are actually terminal endpoints of wormholes leading to parallel universes. We'll need someone brave and expendable to test my theory.
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Not me, buddy! I'm sick of doing tasks. How come Moleman never has to do anything?
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Yes, pick me, please, I'm begging you.
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This sounds like a job for Homer Simpson.
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Grrr. Okay. But I swear, crawling into this singularity is the last task I'll ever do!
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Probably. Now wriggle on in there.
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Sheesh, this wormhole is kind of tight… can you let out the event horizon a little?
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I said wriggle!
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Task: "Make Homer Wriggle Through the Wormhole". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 6 seconds.
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I hope you're happy, Hawking. I proved your theory correct. I made it through the wormhole and lived three lifetimes in another dimension.
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And all you missed was Taco Tuesday.
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This is the worst day of my lives!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After completing Pt. 3
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The multiverse is ripe for exploration!
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So much work to do! Homer, imagine all the work you've ever done, then multiply it by infinity.
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Zero times infinity? How much is that?
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About 37. Get busy!
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Task: "Make Homer Do 37 Experiments for Hawking".
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Forget it, Egghead! No more tasks for me!
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From now on, whenever anyone sends me on a task, I'm going to refuse!
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Task: "Make Homer Refuse to Do a Task".
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No! I refuse! Heh heh.
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Message
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Goal Complete! Congratulations, you completed "Make Homer Refuse to Do a Task." Collect your reward!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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D'oh!
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I've gotta get more clever here. To be truly lazy, I'll need to assemble an all-star team of super-dupes to take over my workload.
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Task: "Make Homer Kidnap Alternate Homers from Other Universes". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 6 seconds.
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I'm back. Or should I say, WE'RE back! Meet the alternate universe all-stars!
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Hello.
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Charmed.
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What up, Ho-bro.
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*CHEWING AND BELCHING SOUNDS*
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Glargggh!
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Wow, two of them couldn't speak at all. Yet they still seemed slightly smarter than Dad.
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After completing Alternate Homers
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Look, there's something else coming through the space sphincter! A real live robot!
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I AM ROBOT NUMBER 1.
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Here comes another!
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I AM ROBOT NUMBER 2.
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I wonder what the next guy's name will be.
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I AM ROBOT NUMBER 4. BUT YOU CAN CALL ME ROBOT NUMBER 3.
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There comes another… and another!
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That makes five.
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Quit showing off, Hawking.
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A veritable army of robots from a parallel universe. What could go wrong?
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…I said in the most sarcastic way imaginable.
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…Which is how I say everything, so I can understand if there was some measure of confusion regarding--
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ROBOTS… ATTACK!!!!!!!
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Swish.
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I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.
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Fight back! Every able-bodied man, woman, and child!
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That's everyone but you!
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Less talking, more fighting.
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Task: "Tap Some Robots" (x5).
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After completing Pt. 5
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My Homers versus your robots!
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They're not my robots.
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Help! I'm being beaten to a king-sized pulp!
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It's no use! There's dozens more robots pouring out of the wormhole!
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Tapping isn't working, and it's our only interface!
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I have an idea!
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I have a better idea. Fire up the PolyVac!
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Task: "Use the SciFighter".
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What was that flash?
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A burst of Hawking Radiation. I destroyed the robots, proving once again that brute force is no match for the human mind…
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…when accompanied by a tremendously powerful particle-beam weapon.
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Revenge!
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Oh no! They're still coming!
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Guard the PolyVac until it can recharge for another Hawking burst!
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Less talking, more Hawking!
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Quest reward: 100 and 10
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After completing Pt. 6
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Professor Hawking, can't we stop the robot invasion by just closing the wormhole?
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Easier said than done. I recruited a local expert on String Theory to advise us, but her analysis is somewhat difficult to follow.
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BALLSOFSTRING! BALLSOFSTRING!
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For now, our only hope of survival is to place a highly skilled nuclear engineer in control of the PolyVac. Homer, can we count on you?
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I'm your man! I'm really good at pressing buttons! Unless they're close together. Or far apart.
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Oh, God. You're relying on Homer Simpson to keep us alive? I'm the only competent engineer in this entire town!
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Competent? Didn't I pass your grave already?
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Message
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Check out the store for Frank Grimes, Springfield Nuclear Plant's first and last competent employee!
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Task: "Make Homer Relax in the Brown House". The job takes place at the Brown House and takes 2 hours. If Frank Grimes is owned: Task: "Make Frank Grimes Prepare High Voltage Defenses". The job takes place at the PolyVac and takes 4 hours.
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Quest Reward: 10 and 25 Event Currency
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