Difference between revisions of "Rosebud/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer Goes to College|Treehouse of Horror IV|Rosebud}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|Homer Goes to College|Treehouse of Horror IV|Rosebud}} | ||
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Mr. Burns]]''': How much do you want. |
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Homer]]''': A million dollars and three [[Hawaii]]an islands. Good ones, not the leper one. |
---- | ---- | ||
'''Mr. Burns''': Have [[the Rolling Stones]] killed. | '''Mr. Burns''': Have [[the Rolling Stones]] killed. | ||
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Smithers]]''': But sir, those weren't the... |
'''Mr. Burns''': Do as I say! | '''Mr. Burns''': Do as I say! | ||
| Line 16: | Line 16: | ||
'''Homer''': Mmm... sixty-four slices of American cheese. | '''Homer''': Mmm... sixty-four slices of American cheese. | ||
| − | ''He sits down at the table with the stack of slices.'' | + | ''[He sits down at the table with the stack of slices.]'' |
'''Homer''': Sixty-four. ''(eats it)'' Sixty-three. ''(eats it)'' | '''Homer''': Sixty-four. ''(eats it)'' Sixty-three. ''(eats it)'' | ||
| − | ''Fade to morning, and he is struggling to finish.'' | + | ''[Fade to morning, and he is struggling to finish.]'' |
'''Homer''': Two... ''(eats it very slowly)'' One... ''(eats it)'' | '''Homer''': Two... ''(eats it very slowly)'' One... ''(eats it)'' | ||
| − | ''Marge walks in.'' | + | ''[Marge walks in.]'' |
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Marge]]''': Have you been up all night eating cheese? |
'''Homer''': ''(slurred)'' I think I'm blind... | '''Homer''': ''(slurred)'' I think I'm blind... | ||
| Line 36: | Line 36: | ||
'''Marge''': I don't think it's a good idea to humiliate your boss on his birthday. | '''Marge''': I don't think it's a good idea to humiliate your boss on his birthday. | ||
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Lisa]]''': Actually, Mom, a tweaking of Mr. Burns' foibles if done with the greatest of care could earn Dad a special place in the old man's heart. |
'''Homer''': Well, I also do a delightful impression of him. [laughs] I paint a frowny face on my butt and pull down my pants! | '''Homer''': Well, I also do a delightful impression of him. [laughs] I paint a frowny face on my butt and pull down my pants! | ||
| − | [Marge and Lisa groan] | + | [Marge and Lisa groan.] |
'''Homer''': Now, I'm not saying Mr. Burns is incontinent... | '''Homer''': Now, I'm not saying Mr. Burns is incontinent... | ||
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Bart]]''': Incontinent! ''(laughs)'' Too rich! |
'''Lisa''': Does either of you know what incontinent means? | '''Lisa''': Does either of you know what incontinent means? | ||
| Line 56: | Line 56: | ||
'''Marge''': Homer, you've got to stop insulting everyone, especially your boss! | '''Marge''': Homer, you've got to stop insulting everyone, especially your boss! | ||
| − | '''Homer''': Marge, the comedy roast is an American tradition. It's what gives us the freedom to criticize our social betters. [Outside, Flanders is clipping the hedge] Hey Flanders! You smell like manure. | + | '''Homer''': Marge, the comedy roast is an American tradition. It's what gives us the freedom to criticize our social betters. ''[Outside, Flanders is clipping the hedge]'' Hey Flanders! You smell like manure. |
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Flanders]]''': Uh oh. Better cancel that dinner party tonight. Thanks for the nose-news, neighbor! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | Smithers: I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike [[Lassie]], was just run over in the parking lot. | + | '''Smithers:''' I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike [[Lassie]], was just run over in the parking lot. |
| − | (Audience gasps) | + | ''(Audience gasps)'' |
'''Smithers''': And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson! | '''Smithers''': And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson! | ||
| Line 103: | Line 103: | ||
'''Ice Delivery Man''': You've got to start charging more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition! | '''Ice Delivery Man''': You've got to start charging more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition! | ||
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Apu]]''': If you can think of a better way to get ice, I'd like to hear it. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Nelson]]''': My old man can't get a beer because his old man won't give a bear to another old man! Let's get him! |
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Jimbo]]''': Wait, why are we getting him? |
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Martin]]''': Look, fellows. The first snapdragon of the season. |
'''Nelson''': Never mind. Let's get him! | '''Nelson''': Never mind. Let's get him! | ||
| Line 117: | Line 117: | ||
'''Mr. Burns''': Bobo? Duh..uh, I meant Lobo...Sherrif Lobo, they should have never canceled that show. | '''Mr. Burns''': Bobo? Duh..uh, I meant Lobo...Sherrif Lobo, they should have never canceled that show. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | '''Bart''': (Pulls Bobo out of the bag of ice | + | '''Bart''': ''(Pulls Bobo out of the bag of ice)'' Hey, it's a teddy bear. Gross, it's probably diseased or something. Here, Maggie. |
---- | ---- | ||
'''Homer''': Who needs his money? We're getting by okay. | '''Homer''': Who needs his money? We're getting by okay. | ||
| − | (Grampa crashes a Ute through the Simpsons' wall.) | + | ''(Grampa crashes a Ute through the Simpsons' wall.)'' |
| − | '''[[ | + | '''[[Grampa]]''': Son, you gotta help me! I hit three people on the way over here, and I don't have any insurance! ''(pause)'' So, how's my Ute? |
---- | ---- | ||
'''Homer''': My life can't get any worse. | '''Homer''': My life can't get any worse. | ||
| Line 136: | Line 136: | ||
'''Mr. Burns''': Oh, don't worry, I'm sure I'll remember it. | '''Mr. Burns''': Oh, don't worry, I'm sure I'll remember it. | ||
| − | + | ||
{{Season 5|Q}} | {{Season 5|Q}} | ||
Revision as of 03:31, November 25, 2018
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Mr. Burns: How much do you want.
Homer: A million dollars and three Hawaiian islands. Good ones, not the leper one.
Mr. Burns: Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers: But sir, those weren't the...
Mr. Burns: Do as I say!
Night time. Homer, half asleep and in his underwear, wanders over to the fridge and takes something out of it.
Homer: Mmm... sixty-four slices of American cheese.
[He sits down at the table with the stack of slices.]
Homer: Sixty-four. (eats it) Sixty-three. (eats it)
[Fade to morning, and he is struggling to finish.]
Homer: Two... (eats it very slowly) One... (eats it)
[Marge walks in.]
Marge: Have you been up all night eating cheese?
Homer: (slurred) I think I'm blind...
Marge: What are you doing?
Homer: I'm writing a delicious send-up of Mr. Burns for his birthday party. Is poo-poo one word or two?
Marge: I don't think it's a good idea to humiliate your boss on his birthday.
Lisa: Actually, Mom, a tweaking of Mr. Burns' foibles if done with the greatest of care could earn Dad a special place in the old man's heart.
Homer: Well, I also do a delightful impression of him. [laughs] I paint a frowny face on my butt and pull down my pants!
[Marge and Lisa groan.]
Homer: Now, I'm not saying Mr. Burns is incontinent...
Bart: Incontinent! (laughs) Too rich!
Lisa: Does either of you know what incontinent means?
Homer: Lisa, don't spoil our fun.
Marge: Come on, everybody, it's time to go.
Homer: OK, stupid.
Marge: Homer, you've got to stop insulting everyone, especially your boss!
Homer: Marge, the comedy roast is an American tradition. It's what gives us the freedom to criticize our social betters. [Outside, Flanders is clipping the hedge] Hey Flanders! You smell like manure.
Flanders: Uh oh. Better cancel that dinner party tonight. Thanks for the nose-news, neighbor!
Smithers: I have some sad news to report. A small puppy, not unlike Lassie, was just run over in the parking lot.
(Audience gasps)
Smithers: And now it's time for the comedy stylings of Homer Simpson!
Homer: Are you ready to laugh?
Man: That poor dog.
Homer: Are you ready to laugh? I said, are you ready to laugh!?
Lady: Quiet, you awful man.
Homer: You know, Mr. Burns is so cheap.
Mr. Burns: Whaaat?
Homer: I mean...Mr. Burns is so old--
Mr. Burns: How dare you!
Homer: Woo hoo, tough crowd.
Homer: Oh, where did I lose 'em? I'll never wiggle my bare butt in public again.
Lisa: I'd like to believe that this time. I really would.
Marge: Bart, run down to the store and get a big bag of ice for your father.
Bart: Yes'm. Dad, I know you're discouraged, but please don't deny the world your fat can.
Homer: Don't worry, boy, he'll be ready for your Aunt Selma's birthday.
Lisa: I knew it.
Marge: I'm sure he'll offer a fair reward. And then we'll make him double it.
Family: Huh? Marge: Well, why can't I be greedy once in a while?
Ice Delivery Man: You've got to start charging more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!
Apu: If you can think of a better way to get ice, I'd like to hear it.
Nelson: My old man can't get a beer because his old man won't give a bear to another old man! Let's get him!
Jimbo: Wait, why are we getting him?
Martin: Look, fellows. The first snapdragon of the season.
Nelson: Never mind. Let's get him!
Smithers: Who's Bobo, sir?
Mr. Burns: Bobo? Duh..uh, I meant Lobo...Sherrif Lobo, they should have never canceled that show.
Bart: (Pulls Bobo out of the bag of ice) Hey, it's a teddy bear. Gross, it's probably diseased or something. Here, Maggie.
Homer: Who needs his money? We're getting by okay.
(Grampa crashes a Ute through the Simpsons' wall.)
Grampa: Son, you gotta help me! I hit three people on the way over here, and I don't have any insurance! (pause) So, how's my Ute?
Homer: My life can't get any worse.
Smithers: Homer Simpson, report for "much worse" duty.
Homer: D'oh!
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I'm so happy. Something amazing has happened, I'm actually happy. Take a note! From now on, I'm only going to be good and kind to everyone.
Smithers: I'm sorry sir, I don't have a pencil.
Mr. Burns: Oh, don't worry, I'm sure I'll remember it.
