Difference between revisions of "Marge in Chains/Quotes"

Revision as of 09:20, August 28, 2012

Mr. Burns: Who the devil are you?

Homer's Brain: Don't panic. Just come up with a good story.

Homer: My name is Mr. Burns!

Homer's Brain: D'oh!

Bart: Who's gonna change Maggie?

Homer: We're going to let her roam free in the backyard and nature will take its course.

Chief Wiggum: All right, come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says 'Capricorn', and something with coconut on it!

Bart: Dad! We're running out of clean clothes!

Lisa: It seems like I've been wearing this same red dress forever!

Homer: Go up to the attic, there's a whole trunk of clothes. [comes down the stairs in a wedding dress humming Here Comes the Bride to himself.]

Crowd: We need a cure! We need a cure!

Dr. Hibbert: Ho ho ho. Why, the only cure is bedrest. Anything I give you would be a placebo.

Woman: [frantic] Where can we get these placebos?

Man: (points at truck) Maybe, there's some in this truck!

[Crowd knock over truck and a box of killer bees from it break out and attack the crowd. A man, thinking the bee is a vaccine, takes it and swallows it.]

Man: I'm cured! I mean,ouch!

Flanders: Oh, the network slogan is true. Watch Fox and be damned for all eternity.

Lisa: Mom, could you bring me more O.J.?

Bart: Mom, could you get me some of those Flintstones chewable morphine?

Marge: There's no such thing!

Homer: Marge, the boy is wasting TV time. Come change the channel and pat my head!

Marge: In a minute!

Homer: But I'll miss Sheriff Lobo!

Chief Wiggum: All right, come out with your hands up, two cups of coffee, an auto freshener that says 'Capricorn', and something with coconut on it!

Lionel Hutz: Now don't you worry, Mrs. Simpson, I- uh-oh. We've drawn Judge Snyder.

Marge: Is that bad?

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me, since I accidently ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidently" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Lisa: You're a latter-day Clarence Darrow!

Lionel Hutz: Uh, was he the black guy on the Mod Squad?

Homer: Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.

Homer: Now, kids, while your mother's gone, I don't want to have to wash any dishes, so from now on, drink straight from the faucet or milk carton, and we'll eat while standing over the sink or toilet.

Bart: Mr Hutz, when I grow up, I wanna be a lawyer just like you.

Lionel Hutz: Good for you, son. If there's one thing America needs, it's more lawyers. Could you imagine a world without lawyers?

[Hutz has a vision of a world without lawyers in his head with multicultural people walking and holding hands in a circle happily, causing him to shudder.]

Lionel Hutz: I move for a bad court thingy.

Roy Snyder: You mean a mistrial.

Lionel Hutz: Right!! That's why you're the judge and I'm the law-talking guy.

Roy Snyder: You mean the lawyer?

Lionel Hutz: Right.

Milhouse: [looks at his lunchbox] Alright, baloney and cheese! What have you got, Bart?

Bart: Pack of sugar and a peanut butter sticked on a playing card.

Nelson: Ha-ha! Your mom's a jailbird!

Bart: So's yours.

Nelson: Oh yeah. Let's play.

Marge: Knock, knock. I'm Marge Simpson, your new cellmate.

Phillips: I'm Phillips. They called me that because I killed my husband with a Phillips-head screwdriver.

(Lionel Hutz tries to give Judge Snyder a fake verdict)

Judge Snyder: This verdict is written on a cocktail napkin. And it still says "guilty." And "guilty" is spelled wrong!