The Old Man and the "C" Student/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
- [The mail carrier rings.]
- Homer: I'll get it! [laughs]
- Mail carrier: Package for Mr. Simpson.
- Homer: [closes the door] Hmmm. Woohoo! My Springs! They finally came!
- Marge: Homer, they just cut you off for Bart Simpson's comedy.
- Homer: Not now, Marge.
- Marge: But we lost the Olympics to Shelbyville.
- Homer: But I'll have fun selling these springs.
- Marge: To who?
- Homer: Idiots. Ooh, these are fun!
- [At Moe's.]
- Homer: Hey, Lenny, want some nuts? [shows a can]
- Lenny: Hey, thanks.
- [Lenny opens the can. Springs spring out and one stucks in hiss eye.]
- Lenny: Ow, my eye! [Homer laughs]
- Moe: Homer, get out of here.
- Homer: Boy, Moe, you sure look angry. Want some nuts?
- Moe: Thank you, I love nuts. [opens the can and a spring stucks in his eye] Ow! God, my eye!
- [At the Simpsons house.]
- Homer: Welcome to the kitchen of tomorrow, today! Marge, how much would you pay for a self flipping hamburger pan?
- Marge: Nothing.
- Homer: Don't ask yet! Watch how easy it is to flip hamburgers with the help of God's latest creation, the springs.
- [The casserole has springs under it. The burgers jump on the air and the oil burns Homer.]
- Homer: [screams] Some second-degree burns but some first class burgers!
- Marge: Homer, get rid of these springs!
- Homer: But you haven't seen the baby of tomorrow! [Maggie is full of springs] Now, if I drop her, no more tears! [he uses her as a basketball ball]
- Marge: Give me my baby!
- Homer: Give it up, Marge, I'm coming through the hole!
- Marge: Homer, I'm not sure that's a good idea. I want these springs out of our house today!
- [Inside the bathroom, Homer flushes the springs down the toilet.]
- Homer: [singing] You flush one down, it swirls around. Nine hundred and ninety nine springs to flush down!
- Marge: [knocks the door] You're not flushing those springs down our toilet, are you?
- Homer: Of course not! Nine hundred and ninety six springs to flush down, nine hundred and ninety six springs!
- [The boat, with all of the old people, Bart and Lisa, is sinking. When it does, it goes up again.]
- Bart: What the heck's going on?
- [The springs Homer flushes down the toilet come from a pipe and make the boat to spring back up.]
- Homer: [heard singing] A hundred and thirty five springs to flush down, a hundred and thirty five springs!
- [On Mr. Burn's yacht.]
- Mr. Burns: Now, Smithers, you say you painted all your navy buddies this way?
- Smithers: [looks up from drawing] Until I was discharged sir.
