The Monkey Suit/Quotes
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Todd: "Daddy, was Mommy a monkey? I can't remember."
Ned: "No one was ever a monkey! Everything is what it was and always will be! God put us here and that's that!"
Todd: "But you said a stork brought me."
Ned: "Umm...that was God disguised as a stork."
Rod: "Then who brings baby storks?"
Ned: "There's no such thing as storks! It's all God!"
Todd: (Kneeling beside a statue of a stork) "Please bless Daddy and Roddy..."
Ned: "Stop praying to that stork!"
Chief Wiggum: "Lisa Simpson, you're under arrest for the teaching of non-biblical science!"
Lisa Simpson: "There are so many worse crimes. Why are you persecuting me?"
Chief Wiggum: "Well, we only have the man power to enforce the last law passed. You know, it's not the best system, but…well, in fact, it's pretty much the worst."
TV Host: "So you are calling God a liar? An Unbiased Comparison of Evolution and Creationism. Let’s say hi to two books. One; The Bible was written by our Lord. The other; The Origin of Species was written by a cowardly drunk named Charles Darwin."
Ned Flanders: "As sure as I am that Jesus hates hip-hop!."
Miss Hoover: "Class, the town has spoken. From now on we're only teaching one theory: creationism. Now please hand in your evolution books to Groundskeeper Willie while I beat this ominous drum."
Barney Gumble: "Homer's son's sister is right!"
Clarice Dremond: "This trial is the biggest load of… Oh for crying out loud!"
Wallace Brady: "Now Bambi, who started that forest fire that killed your mother? Evolution?! My my my…"
Bart: "Weaving? Homer, you're my father. You're supposed to protect me from things like this."
