Range Romancer

Range Romancer

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Summer of Our Discontent Required characters: Desert Park Ranger Optional characters: Cookie Kwan

Range Romancer is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Summer of Our Discontent content update. It requires the Desert Park Ranger to be obtained.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After tapping on the Desert Park Ranger's exclamation mark Hey, Johnson, what are you doing here? Some elementary school kids got too close to the bears so I'm just lying low while the parents read the liability waiver letters they signed. You know how it is. Not really. No one tries to hug a desert scorpion. You're so lucky. Tell me about it. I gotta do the annual count of uneaten species in the park. You wanna help? *checking phone* Uh, I'd love to, but it looks like a buffalo just rammed an SUV on the access road, so I gotta distribute the insurance denial forms. Task: "Make Desert Park Ranger Catalog Desert Species". The job takes 4 hours. Hey, you can't give me a ticket! This is my territory! Oh, I'm not a cop. I'm a park ranger cataloging species, and some desert chameleons scurried under your car. That explains the uniform. I thought you were a meter maid. Yeah, it happens a lot when I wander into town after work. Sometimes people think I'm a scout master. *winks* It's the shorts. I think they're cute. You do? Sure. Of course, I also think Larry Bird is hot. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 2

After tapping on the Desert Park Ranger's exclamation mark So, what does a Desert Park Ranger do when he's not counting reptiles? Oh, I have lots of jobs. They last four, eight, sometimes 12 hours. Excuse me, Ranger, I'm doing the Park Climber Challenge. I need to climb you and sit on your shoulders. Is that really one of your jobs? Yes. One of the animated jobs! Task: "Make Desert Park Ranger Help Park Climber". The job takes 4 hours. If Cookie Kwan is owned: Task: "Make Cookie Kwan Pretend to Understand What's Happening". The job takes place at the Ranger's Office and takes 4 hours. It's very interesting the way you helped that man with…whatever that was. Thank you. Wanna take me to dinner? Do I! Let me go change into my fancy dress shorts. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 3

After tapping on the Desert Park Ranger's exclamation mark After dinner, maybe we can see where you work. Sure, as long as you don't mind heat and sand and man-eating scorpions. The what?! Oh, sorry. Man-eating scorpions aren't really a thing. We spread that rumor to discourage four-wheelers and property developers from coming out here. Oh, well it almost worked… What did you say? Oh, uh, are there flowers where you work? Task: "Make Desert Park Ranger Pick Desert Flowers". The job takes place at Cacti, Rocks, Parks, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Cookie Kwan is owned: Task: "Make Cookie Kwan Act Charmed". The job takes place at the Ranger's Office and takes 4 hours. I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it! Come on, man, this always ends badly for you. The short shorts attract crazy chicks and men with a Larry Bird fetish. Surprisingly sensitive men, though. Anyway, Cookie's not like that. She loves me for who I really am. So she's either a real estate developer or works for an oil and gas company. Or she has a scorpion fetish. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 4

After tapping on the Desert Park Ranger's exclamation mark You know, Cookie, we've only just met, but this is already our sixth round of dialogue! I know! It's been magical. Excuse me, Park Ranger, I need some directions. Of course. I'm trying to find a conversation that involves anyone more important than a nameless premium character and a one-joke third-stringer. Beat it, Fatso, I'm working this quest! Anyway, Park Ranger— Please, call me by my first name. Of course. Desert, I've heard rumors that the government is going to be selling off some park land soon… Oh, my God! Ranger Johnson was right — you're a…a real estate developer! Well, real estate agent, but I'm always looking for new challenges. Task: "Make Desert Park Ranger Feel Betrayed". The job takes place at the Ranger's Office and takes 4 hours. If Cookie Kwan is owned: Task: "Make Cookie Kwan Wish Men Weren't So Emotional". The job takes place at the Ranger's Office and takes 4 hours. Quest reward: 100 and 10

Pt. 5

After tapping on the Desert Park Ranger's exclamation mark You know what, I don't care! Let's put the whole property development thing behind us and go sand sledding like kids! Sure! But first, about that land the government is going to sell… You mean Quicksand Corner? "Quicksand Corner"? It's not as bad as it sounds! *reading on her myPhone* "…Quicksand Corner was rated one of the three deadliest nature locations of the 1970s…" Yeah, but at least there aren't any man-eating scorpions… Task: "Make Desert Park Ranger Downplay the Dangers of Quicksand". The job takes place at Cacti, Rocks, the Ranger's Office, Parks, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours. If Cookie Kwan is owned: Task: "Make Cookie Kwan Lose Interest". The job takes place at the Ranger's Office and takes 4 hours. She dumped you, huh? Yeah. The life of a park ranger is a lonely existence. We're like cowboys…that don't ride horses or wear long pants. Uh, yeah. Anyway, you'll always have your fellow rangers when you need us. Thanks. Hey, wanna count carcasses? I'm good. Quest reward: 200 and 20

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Summer of Our Discontent quests
Communion Chameleon • Camouflaged Intentions • Dunes, Dooms, and No Diners • The Blaze of Wrath • A Separate Dysfunctionality • The Incredulous Journey
Desert Park Ranger	Range Romancer
Park Ranger Johnson	The Trail Blazer
Sprinkles	Can I Get Sprinkles With That?
Delbert Fornby	Million Dollar Maybe
Calypso Self-Knowledge	Ego Trip and Fall
Cactus Lisa and Cactus Bart	Growing Pains • Cactus Bart's Excellent Adventure • A Thorn Among Roses
Cactus Maggie	Prickly Playmates
Thomas Jefferson	The Declaration
Desert Welding Yard	Desert Fires