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Range Romancer
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
| Range Romancer
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Range Romancer is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Summer of Our Discontent content update. It requires the Desert Park Ranger to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on the Desert Park Ranger's exclamation mark
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Hey, Johnson, what are you doing here?
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Some elementary school kids got too close to the bears so I'm just lying low while the parents read the liability waiver letters they signed. You know how it is.
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Not really. No one tries to hug a desert scorpion.
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You're so lucky.
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Tell me about it. I gotta do the annual count of uneaten species in the park. You wanna help?
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*checking phone* Uh, I'd love to, but it looks like a buffalo just rammed an SUV on the access road, so I gotta distribute the insurance denial forms.
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| Task: "Make Desert Park Ranger Catalog Desert Species". The job takes 4 hours.
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Hey, you can't give me a ticket! This is my territory!
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Oh, I'm not a cop. I'm a park ranger cataloging species, and some desert chameleons scurried under your car.
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That explains the uniform. I thought you were a meter maid.
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Yeah, it happens a lot when I wander into town after work. Sometimes people think I'm a scout master.
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*winks* It's the shorts. I think they're cute.
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You do?
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Sure. Of course, I also think Larry Bird is hot.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on the Desert Park Ranger's exclamation mark
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So, what does a Desert Park Ranger do when he's not counting reptiles?
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Oh, I have lots of jobs. They last four, eight, sometimes 12 hours.
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Excuse me, Ranger, I'm doing the Park Climber Challenge. I need to climb you and sit on your shoulders.
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Is that really one of your jobs?
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Yes. One of the animated jobs!
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Task: "Make Desert Park Ranger Help Park Climber". The job takes 4 hours.
If Cookie Kwan is owned: Task: "Make Cookie Kwan Pretend to Understand What's Happening". The job takes place at the Ranger's Office and takes 4 hours.
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It's very interesting the way you helped that man with...whatever that was.
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Thank you.
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Wanna take me to dinner?
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Do I! Let me go change into my fancy dress shorts.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on the Desert Park Ranger's exclamation mark
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After dinner, maybe we can see where you work.
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Sure, as long as you don't mind heat and sand and man-eating scorpions.
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The what?!
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Oh, sorry. Man-eating scorpions aren't really a thing. We spread that rumor to discourage four-wheelers and property developers from coming out here.
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Oh, well it almost worked...
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What did you say?
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Oh, uh, are there flowers where you work?
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Task: "Make Desert Park Ranger Pick Desert Flowers". The job takes place at Cacti, Rocks, Parks, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Cookie Kwan is owned: Task: "Make Cookie Kwan Act Charmed". The job takes place at the Ranger's Office and takes 4 hours.
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I'm in love, and I don't care who knows it!
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Come on, man, this always ends badly for you. The short shorts attract crazy chicks and men with a Larry Bird fetish.
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Surprisingly sensitive men, though.
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Anyway, Cookie's not like that. She loves me for who I really am.
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So she's either a real estate developer or works for an oil and gas company. Or she has a scorpion fetish.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on the Desert Park Ranger's exclamation mark
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You know, Cookie, we've only just met, but this is already our sixth round of dialogue!
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I know! It's been magical.
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Excuse me, Park Ranger, I need some directions.
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Of course.
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I'm trying to find a conversation that involves anyone more important than a nameless premium character and a one-joke third-stringer.
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Beat it, Fatso, I'm working this quest!
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Anyway, Park Ranger—
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Please, call me by my first name.
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Of course. Desert, I've heard rumors that the government is going to be selling off some park land soon...
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Oh, my God! Ranger Johnson was right — you're a...a real estate developer!
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Well, real estate agent, but I'm always looking for new challenges.
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Task: "Make Desert Park Ranger Feel Betrayed". The job takes place at the Ranger's Office and takes 4 hours.
If Cookie Kwan is owned: Task: "Make Cookie Kwan Wish Men Weren't So Emotional". The job takes place at the Ranger's Office and takes 4 hours.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on the Desert Park Ranger's exclamation mark
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You know what, I don't care! Let's put the whole property development thing behind us and go sand sledding like kids!
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Sure! But first, about that land the government is going to sell...
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You mean Quicksand Corner?
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"Quicksand Corner"?
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It's not as bad as it sounds!
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*reading on her myPhone* "...Quicksand Corner was rated one of the three deadliest nature locations of the 1970s..."
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Yeah, but at least there aren't any man-eating scorpions...
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Task: "Make Desert Park Ranger Downplay the Dangers of Quicksand". The job takes place at Cacti, Rocks, the Ranger's Office, Parks, or a Brown House and takes 4 hours.
If Cookie Kwan is owned: Task: "Make Cookie Kwan Lose Interest". The job takes place at the Ranger's Office and takes 4 hours.
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She dumped you, huh?
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Yeah. The life of a park ranger is a lonely existence. We're like cowboys...that don't ride horses or wear long pants.
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Uh, yeah. Anyway, you'll always have your fellow rangers when you need us.
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Thanks. Hey, wanna count carcasses?
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I'm good.
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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