I Won't Be Home for Christmas/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
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561 "I Won't Be Home for Christmas"
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- Apu: Well, if you're here for a last minute gift, we have a cell phone holder that fits no cell phone made after 2002. And, uh, Kwik-E-Nog. Nog stands for "Not Okayed by Government.
- God: Merry Christmas, son.
- Jesus Christ: Uh, don't you mean "happy birthday"?
- God: It's two presents.
- Jesus Christ: Um, walkie-talkies don't count as two presents. God. I mean, you. Idiot.
- Homer: Thank you magical creatures of the mall! You have all taught me a Christmas message I'll never forget. The place to get drunk is at home.
- Lisa: Mom, where's dad?
- Marge: I don't know.
- Bart: Aw it's Christmas Eve man, we do not want to set a precedent for fat guys being late tonight!
- Homer: Flanders, how do you stay so happy—and don’t say Jesus!