Difference between revisions of "Every Man's Dream/Quotes"

Revision as of 08:52, March 6, 2020

Candace: I'm pretty fascinating myself. I'm an author.

Homer: I thought you were a pharmacist.

Candace: Tennessee Williams worked in a shoe factory.

Homer: You were pretty quick with that fact.

Homer: Marge, after all my divorce-worthy statements and actions-many of which you don't know about-how can you kick me out now that I'm sick?

Homer: You're pregnant? But I kept my shirt on!

Marge: Homie, you have no idea what it's like being married to you.

Marge: I know this marriage isn't perfect, or even great, but now I even treasure the moments where it's just so-so.

Marge: Dr. Hibbert called in a prescription for you to pick up.

Homer: Narcolepsy.

Marge: Yes, for narcolepsy, which you should get now.

Marge: I smell beer. Did you go to Moe's?

Homer: Every time I have beer on my breath, you assume I've been drinking.

Marge: Did you at least get the medicine?

Homer: I tried, and I failed. Miserably.

Therapist: Like all married women you're sick of your husband. But sometimes you're afraid of losing him.

Homer: And like all married men, I didn't hear that first thing and am overconfident of the second.

Homer: [to the Therapist] And you thought our only option was to break up.

Therapist: I never said that. If I told people that didn't belong together they shouldn't be together, I'd be out of a job.

Homer: Huh, I must have dreamed that, too.

Bart: [crying] Why is Daddy leaving? Is it all my fault?

[laughs]

Bart: Man, I've been waiting to do that for a long time.

[shouts]

Bart: All my problems are my parents' fault!

Candace: I'm just floating this, but have you ever thought it's a good thing that Marge dumped you? I mean, I've dated more girls than you.

Homer: I would love to get into snowman shape. I can't even fit into my scarf anymore.