Difference between revisions of "Bart Carny/Quotes"
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{{EpisodePrevNextQuo|All Singing, All Dancing|The Joy of Sect}} | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo|All Singing, All Dancing|The Joy of Sect}} | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Marge is trying to push [[Santa's Little Helper]] into the backyard]'' |
:'''Marge:''' Come on! You have to go outside to do your... business. | :'''Marge:''' Come on! You have to go outside to do your... business. | ||
:'''[[Homer]]:''' The experts say that if you want an animal to do something, you should do it yourself first, to show 'em how. | :'''[[Homer]]:''' The experts say that if you want an animal to do something, you should do it yourself first, to show 'em how. | ||
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:'''Homer:''' Pfft. Sor-ree, Your Majesty. | :'''Homer:''' Pfft. Sor-ree, Your Majesty. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Bart and Lisa are dressed in overalls, gloves and straw hats]'' |
:'''Bart:''' But I can't go out dressed like this! What if someone sees me? | :'''Bart:''' But I can't go out dressed like this! What if someone sees me? | ||
:'''Marge:''' You're just going into our backyard. No one will see you. | :'''Marge:''' You're just going into our backyard. No one will see you. | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Bart opens the door and looks out]'' |
| − | :'''[[Nelson]]:''' '' | + | :'''[[Nelson]]:''' ''[off camera]'' Haw... |
| − | :'' | + | :''[Bart slams the door. Marge points at the door and Bart opens it again]'' |
| − | :'''Nelson:''' '' | + | :'''Nelson:''' ''[off camera]'' Haw! |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Bart looks at the chores list]'' |
:'''Bart:''' Man, look at all this stuff... pull weeds, mow lawn, scoop and bag dog business. There's gotta be a way out of this. Lisa! Chop off my hands! | :'''Bart:''' Man, look at all this stuff... pull weeds, mow lawn, scoop and bag dog business. There's gotta be a way out of this. Lisa! Chop off my hands! | ||
:'''Lisa:''' No! Then who'd chop off my hands? | :'''Lisa:''' No! Then who'd chop off my hands? | ||
| Line 22: | Line 22: | ||
:'''Marge:''' Get to work! | :'''Marge:''' Get to work! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'' | + | :''[Marge finds Bart and Lisa in the living room instead of doing their chores]'' |
:'''Marge:''' What are you doing inside? | :'''Marge:''' What are you doing inside? | ||
:'''Bart:''' Work was hard, so we quit. | :'''Bart:''' Work was hard, so we quit. | ||
:'''Marge:''' What? | :'''Marge:''' What? | ||
| − | :'''Lisa:''' '' | + | :'''Lisa:''' ''[slowly]'' Hard work made us quit. |
:'''Marge:''' I see! Well then, no chores, no allowance. | :'''Marge:''' I see! Well then, no chores, no allowance. | ||
:'''Lisa:''' Okay, we get our room and board free anyway. | :'''Lisa:''' Okay, we get our room and board free anyway. | ||
:'''Bart:''' And [[Santa Claus|Santy Claus]] provides the rest. | :'''Bart:''' And [[Santa Claus|Santy Claus]] provides the rest. | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''Cooder''' | + | :'''Cooder:''' Son, if you do not finish your caramel apple you will not get a snow cone. |
| − | :''Homer and Bart appear'' | + | :''[Homer and Bart appear]'' |
| − | :'''Cooder''' | + | :'''Cooder:''' ''[confrontational]'' Get out of here! I didn't scam nobody. |
| − | :'''Homer''' | + | :'''Homer:''' No, we are here to learn the business. |
| − | :'''Bart''' | + | :'''Bart:''' Starting today we are carnies. |
| − | :'''Cooder''' | + | :'''Cooder:''' ''[pleasant]'' In that case let me show you how I scammed you. |
---- | ---- | ||
| − | :'''[[Chief Wiggum]]''' | + | :'''[[Chief Wiggum]]:''' Hate to interrupt your fun, but word is around here that your game is crooked. |
| − | :'''Homer''' | + | :'''Homer:''' And how! |
| − | :'''Chief Wiggum''' | + | :'''Chief Wiggum:''' Well, perhaps we can come to an "understanding". ''[holds out his hand]'' |
| − | :'''Homer''' | + | :'''Homer:''' I understand. |
| − | :'''Bart''' | + | :'''Bart:''' Uh, Dad? I think he wants-- |
| − | :'''Homer''' | + | :'''Homer:''' Not now, son. Daddy's talking to the policeman. |
| − | :'''Chief Wiggum''' | + | :'''Chief Wiggum:''' Let me put it this way. I'm looking for my friend, Bill. ''[looks at cash box]'' Have you seen any Bills around here? |
| − | :'''Homer''' | + | :'''Homer:''' No. He's Bart. |
| − | :'''Chief Wiggum''' | + | :'''Chief Wiggum:''' Okay, let's try this again and watch as I wink each time. The man I'm really looking for, wink, is Mr. Bribe. Wink, wink. |
| − | :'''Homer''' | + | :'''Homer:''' ''[pause]'' It's a ring toss game. |
| − | :'''Chief Wiggum''' | + | :'''Chief Wiggum:''' All right. That's it, I'm shutting this place down. |
:''[Cooder and Spud return to find their game stall missing]'' | :''[Cooder and Spud return to find their game stall missing]'' | ||
| − | :'''Cooder''' | + | :'''Cooder:''' Our game, our home... What happened here? |
:'''Bart: Cops took it. | :'''Bart: Cops took it. | ||
| − | :'''Cooder''' | + | :'''Cooder:''' Why didn't you bribe 'em? |
| − | :'''Homer''' | + | :'''Homer:''' I tried, but the opportunity never came up. |
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
{{Season 9|Q}} | {{Season 9|Q}} | ||
Revision as of 12:30, August 5, 2016
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- [Marge is trying to push Santa's Little Helper into the backyard]
- Marge: Come on! You have to go outside to do your... business.
- Homer: The experts say that if you want an animal to do something, you should do it yourself first, to show 'em how.
- Marge: I'm not going to the bathroom in the backyard.
- Homer: Pfft. Sor-ree, Your Majesty.
- [Bart and Lisa are dressed in overalls, gloves and straw hats]
- Bart: But I can't go out dressed like this! What if someone sees me?
- Marge: You're just going into our backyard. No one will see you.
- [Bart opens the door and looks out]
- Nelson: [off camera] Haw...
- [Bart slams the door. Marge points at the door and Bart opens it again]
- Nelson: [off camera] Haw!
- [Bart looks at the chores list]
- Bart: Man, look at all this stuff... pull weeds, mow lawn, scoop and bag dog business. There's gotta be a way out of this. Lisa! Chop off my hands!
- Lisa: No! Then who'd chop off my hands?
- Bart: All right, you chop my hands halfway off, and then, I'll still have enough strength to chop-
- Marge: Get to work!
- [Marge finds Bart and Lisa in the living room instead of doing their chores]
- Marge: What are you doing inside?
- Bart: Work was hard, so we quit.
- Marge: What?
- Lisa: [slowly] Hard work made us quit.
- Marge: I see! Well then, no chores, no allowance.
- Lisa: Okay, we get our room and board free anyway.
- Bart: And Santy Claus provides the rest.
- Cooder: Son, if you do not finish your caramel apple you will not get a snow cone.
- [Homer and Bart appear]
- Cooder: [confrontational] Get out of here! I didn't scam nobody.
- Homer: No, we are here to learn the business.
- Bart: Starting today we are carnies.
- Cooder: [pleasant] In that case let me show you how I scammed you.
- Chief Wiggum: Hate to interrupt your fun, but word is around here that your game is crooked.
- Homer: And how!
- Chief Wiggum: Well, perhaps we can come to an "understanding". [holds out his hand]
- Homer: I understand.
- Bart: Uh, Dad? I think he wants--
- Homer: Not now, son. Daddy's talking to the policeman.
- Chief Wiggum: Let me put it this way. I'm looking for my friend, Bill. [looks at cash box] Have you seen any Bills around here?
- Homer: No. He's Bart.
- Chief Wiggum: Okay, let's try this again and watch as I wink each time. The man I'm really looking for, wink, is Mr. Bribe. Wink, wink.
- Homer: [pause] It's a ring toss game.
- Chief Wiggum: All right. That's it, I'm shutting this place down.
- [Cooder and Spud return to find their game stall missing]
- Cooder: Our game, our home... What happened here?
- Bart: Cops took it.
- Cooder: Why didn't you bribe 'em?
- Homer: I tried, but the opportunity never came up.
