Difference between revisions of "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)/Quotes"
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- Smithers: Sir, bad news from accounting, the economy's hit us pretty hard.
- Mr. Burns: Tough times eh? I've lived through twelve recessions, eight panics and five years of McKinleynomics. I'll survive this.
- Smithers: Even so, sir, we could stand to lay off a few employees.
- Mr. Burns: [enthusiastically] Oh, very well! [points at some monitors] Lay off him, him, him, him...
- [Mr. Burns sees Homer staring into space, but wearing glasses.]
- Mr. Burns: Hmm, better keep the egghead. He just might come in handy.
- Robert Goulet: [coming out of the airplane and sees Bart with his name on a sign] Hi. You from the casino?
- Bart: I am from a casino.
- Robert Goulet: Good enough. Let's go.
- [Bart takes Robert Goulet to his treehouse]
- Robert Goulet: Are you sure this is the casino? I think I should call my manager.
- Nelson Muntz [brandishing his fist at Goulet]: Your manager says for you to shut up!
- Robert Goulet: Vera said that?
- Robert Goulet: Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg
Batmobile lost its wheel and Joker got away, hey - Thank you! Thank you very much. (a punch is heard)
- Milhouse: Ohhw!
- Robert Goulet: Oh, I'm sorry, kid.
- Principal Skinner: And special awards go to the two students who obviously had no help from their parents: Lisa Simpson and Ralph Wiggum.
- [Lisa is wearing Homer's crudely made Florida costume, while Ralph taped a piece of paper to himself with "IDAHO" written on it]
- Ralph: I'm Idaho!
- Principal Skinner: Yes, of course you are.
- Deleted scene
- Blofeld: 20. Your move, Mr. Bond.
- James Bond: I'll take a hit, dealer.
- [Homer deals Bont a card]
- James Bond: Joker? You were supposed to those out of the deck.
- Homer: Oh, sorry – here's another one.
- James Bond: What's this card? "Rules for Draw and Stud Poker"?
- Blofeld: What a pity, Mr. Bond.
- (Oddjob and Jaws grab Bond and drag him out]
- Bond: What? But it's Homer's fault! I didn't lose. I never lose! Well, at least tell me the details of your plot for world domination.
- Blofeld: Ho ho ho, I'm not going to fall for that one again.
- Lisa: Mom!
- Homer: Huh – wha –? Lisa! What's up?
- Lisa: I just had a bad dream!
- Homer: Oh, sure. You just lie down and tell me all about it.
- Lisa: Well, I know it's absurd, but I dreamed the bogeyman was after me, and he's hiding under—
- Homer: AAAGGHH!! BOGEYMAN!? You nail the windows shut, I'll get the gun!
- [Homer runs into Bart's room]
- Homer: Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but there may be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house!
- Bart: WAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!
- [Homer finds Henry Kissinger's glasses in the men's room toilet, puts them on, and puts his finger on his temple like the scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz.]
- Homer: The sum of the square roots of any two sides of an isosceles triangle is equal to the square root of the remaining side.
- Man in stall: That's a right triangle, ya idiot!
- Homer: D'oh!