Difference between revisions of "A Star Is Burns/Quotes"
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{{qf|Marge}} Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, Homer. | {{qf|Marge}} Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, Homer. | ||
{{qf|Jay}} Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. ''[to Homer]'' And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil. | {{qf|Jay}} Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. ''[to Homer]'' And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil. | ||
| − | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} It was a {{ | + | {{qf|[[Homer]]}} It was a {{W|Gummi Bear}}. |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, [[Mr. Burns]] meets with Señor Spielbergo, his director.]'' | :''[Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, [[Mr. Burns]] meets with Señor Spielbergo, his director.]'' | ||
| − | {{qf|Burns}} Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what [[Steven Spielberg|Spielberg]] did for {{ | + | {{qf|Burns}} Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what [[Steven Spielberg|Spielberg]] did for {{W|Oskar Schindler}}. |
{{qf|[[Señor Spielbergo|Spielbergo]]}} ''[looking doubtful]'' Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo. | {{qf|[[Señor Spielbergo|Spielbergo]]}} ''[looking doubtful]'' Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo. | ||
{{qf|Burns}} Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine '''worked''', dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival! | {{qf|Burns}} Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine '''worked''', dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival! | ||
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{{qf|[[Patty]]}} Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert. | {{qf|[[Patty]]}} Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert. | ||
{{qf|[[Selma]]}} So tell us. Who's gay? | {{qf|[[Selma]]}} So tell us. Who's gay? | ||
| − | {{qf|Jay}} Oh, I don't know ... ''[mumbling]'' {{ | + | {{qf|Jay}} Oh, I don't know ... ''[mumbling]'' {{Ch|Harvey Fierstein}}. |
{{qf|Selma}} No! | {{qf|Selma}} No! | ||
{{qf|Patty}} "Who else?" | {{qf|Patty}} "Who else?" | ||
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{{qf|[[Bart]]}} ''[seeing Jay and laughing]'' You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you? | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} ''[seeing Jay and laughing]'' You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you? | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| − | {{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} ''[walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' Oh, I thought they were | + | {{qf|[[Dr. Hibbert]]}} ''[walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held]'' Oh, I thought they were playing ''{{W|The Rocky Horror Picture Show}}'' tonight. |
---- | ---- | ||
:''[At the film festival, Hans Moleman's ''[[Man Getting Hit by Football]]'' has just been shown.]'' | :''[At the film festival, Hans Moleman's ''[[Man Getting Hit by Football]]'' has just been shown.]'' | ||
{{qf|Homer}} ''[laughing to the point of tears]'' This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars! | {{qf|Homer}} ''[laughing to the point of tears]'' This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars! | ||
| − | {{qf|Jay Sherman}} ''[disapprovingly]'' This '''isn't''' '' | + | {{qf|Jay Sherman}} ''[disapprovingly]'' This '''isn't''' ''[[America's Funniest Home Videos]]''. |
{{qf|Homer}} But... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! ''[still laughing]'' Roll it again! | {{qf|Homer}} But... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! ''[still laughing]'' Roll it again! | ||
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{{Season 6|Q}} | {{Season 6|Q}} | ||
| + | {{DEFAULTSORT:Star Is Burns/Quotes, A}} | ||
Latest revision as of 17:45, October 15, 2021
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- [The Springfieldians have a town meeting to discuss improving the town's image and attracting more tourism. Marge suggests hosting a film festival and having townspeople enter their own movies.]
- Mayor Quimby: All in favor of Marge Simpson's film festival idea?
- Crowd: [chanting in unison] Film festival! Film festival!
- Marge: You like my idea? Actually, I have several others—
- Crowd: [in unison, cutting her off] Don't push your luck! Don't push your luck!
- [On TV, Rainier Wolfcastle is appearing on Coming Attractions, Jay Sherman's show. Wolfcastle talks about his new movie, McBain: Let's Get Silly, which depicts him as a comedian, alternating between telling bad jokes and dispatching hecklers (and many other audience members) with various weapons.]
- Wolfcastle: The film is just me in front of a brick wall for an hour and a half. It cost eighty million dollars.
- Jay: [disgusted] How do you sleep at night?
- Wolfcastle: On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.
- Jay: [even more disgusted] Just asking. Yeesh!
- [At the airport, the Simpsons meet Jay Sherman, who's come to judge the Springfield Film Festival.]
- Marge: Hello, I'm Marge Simpson, and this is my husband, Homer.
- Jay: Oh, nice to meet you, Marge. I saw your hair from the plane. [to Homer] And this must be the man who didn't know if he had a pimple or a boil.
- Homer: It was a Gummi Bear.
- [Preparing to make his movie for the film festival, Mr. Burns meets with Señor Spielbergo, his director.]
- Burns: Listen, Señor Spielbergo, I want you to do for me what Spielberg did for Oskar Schindler.
- Spielbergo: [looking doubtful] Er, Schindler es bueno. Señor Burns es el diablo.
- Burns: Listen, Spielbergo, Schindler and I are like peas in a pod: We're both factory owners, we both made shells for the Nazis, but mine worked, dammit! Now go out there and win me that festival!
- [At the Simpson home, Jay Sherman talks with Patty and Selma while Homer watches.]
- Patty: Okay, Sherman, you're a movie expert.
- Selma: So tell us. Who's gay?
- Jay: Oh, I don't know ... [mumbling] Harvey Fierstein.
- Selma: No!
- Patty: "Who else?"
- [Homer whispers into Jay's ear.]
- Jay: Oh. MacGyver's gay.
- [Patty and Selma growl and advance on Jay, who cowers from them. Homer giggles.]
- [The scene shifts to outside. Jay has been stripped to his underwear and is dangling from the rain gutter by the waistband of his shorts.]
- Bart: [seeing Jay and laughing] You badmouthed MacGyver, didn't you?
- Dr. Hibbert: [walking to the movies in drag, then seeing the film festival is being held] Oh, I thought they were playing The Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight.
- [At the film festival, Hans Moleman's Man Getting Hit by Football has just been shown.]
- Homer: [laughing to the point of tears] This contest is over! Give that man the ten thousand dollars!
- Jay Sherman: [disapprovingly] This isn't America's Funniest Home Videos.
- Homer: But... the ball! His groin! It works on so many levels! [still laughing] Roll it again!
- [Mr. Burns' film festival entry, A Burns for All Seasons, has just been shown. To Burns' shock, the film draws a strong negative reaction from the audience.]
- Mr. Burns: Smithers, are they booing me?
- Smithers: Oh, no, sir. They're saying "Boo-urns, Boo-urns".
- Burns: [to crowd] Are you saying "boo" or "Boo-urns"?
- Crowd: Boooooooooooo!
- Hans Moleman: [to himself] I was saying "Boo-urns".
- [The jury members are casting their votes for grand prize at the Springfield Film Festival. Jay Sherman is dismayed that Mr. Burns' movie is drawing votes.]
- Jay: How can you vote for Burns' movie?
- Krusty: Let's just say it moved me... TO A BIGGER HOUSE!! Oops, I said the quiet part loud and the loud part quiet.
- [A remake of Hans Moleman's movie is an Academy Award contender.]
- George C. Scott: [on screen, getting hit by football] Ow! My groin!
