The Springfield Connection/Quotes
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"The Springfield Connection"
- Marge: I got a report on a domestic disturbance at this address.
- Principal Skinner: Yes, indeed there is. There's an inflatable bath pillow that Mother and I both enjoy. She claimed it was her day to use it. I maintained she was mistaken. We quarreled. Later, as I prepared to bathe, I noticed, to my horror, that someone... had slashed the pillow.
- Marge: Uh-huh. Who called the police?
- Skinner & Agnes: We both did.
- Marge: Look, why don't you two settle down? I'm sure you can get another pillow.
- Skinner: Well, I could send it back to Taiwan for repair. But why should I have to?! I've done nothing wrong! And I don't give permission for my face to be on TV. I want it blurred! [his face is blurred]
- Reverend Lovejoy: All right, Hans. Time to go.
- Hans Moleman: But he ate my last meal.
- Lovejoy: Well, if that's the worst thing that happens to you today, consider yourself lucky. [two guards enter]
- Moleman: Are you really allowed to execute people in a local jail?
- Lovejoy: From this point on, no talking.
- Homer: Boy... when Marge first told me she was going to the police academy, I thought it'd be fun and exciting! You know, like that movie, Spaceballs! But instead it's been painful and disturbing, like that movie Police Academy.
- Barney: Hey, Homer. I'm worried about the beer supply. And after this case, and the other case, there's only one case left! [under his breath] "Yeah, yeah! Uh, Barney's right! Yeah, let's drink some more beer. Yeah! Hey, what about some beer? Yeah, Barney's right."
- Homer: All right, guys! Pipe down! I got some more in the garage. [Herman stands up]
- Herman: Uh, I'll-I'll-I'll get it for you, Homer. [walks off]
- Homer: Hmm... I wonder why he's so eager to go to the garage.
- Moe: The garage? Hey, fellas, the garage! Well, ooh-la-di-da, Mr. Frenchman.
- Homer: Well, what do you call it?
- Moe: A car hole.