Lisa's Wedding/Quotes
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- Ned Flanders: 'Zounds, I did thee mightily smite-ly. "'Zounds" is a renaissance English word, short for "God's Wounds." But uh, "smite-ly," that's pure Flanders!
- Lunchlady Doris: Yon meat 'tis sweet as summer's wafting breeze.
- Homer: Can I have some?
- Doris: Mine ears are open only to the pleas of those who speak ye old English.
- Homer: Sweet maiden of the spit, grant now my boon, that I mightst sup on suckling pig this noon.
- Doris: Whatever.
- Hugh Parkfield: I can't believe how much we have in common. We're both studying the environment, we're both utterly humorless about our vegetarianism, and we both love the Rolling Stones.
- Lisa: Yes, not for their music, but for their tireless efforts to preserve historic buildings.
- Lisa: And I love that painting. Judging by the clothes, I'd say seventeenth century.
- Mrs. Parkfield: Actually, Lisa, it's just uncle Eldred.
- Uncle Eldred: I get me brain medicines from the National 'Ealth.
- Marge: Homer, don't take this personally, but I've obtained a court order to prevent you from planning this wedding.
- Smithers: Oh, Mr. Burns, we'll thaw you out the second they discover the cure for seventeen stab wounds in the back. How're we doing, boys?
- Professor Frink: Well, we're up to fifteen!
- Hugh: Lisa, darling, don't worry. I'm sure I'll get along with your family. You've so thoroughly prepared me for the worst, as long as they're not squatting in a ditch poking berries up their noses...
- Lisa: And if they are?
- Homer: You can be the first to try out the new guest bedroom I built. Remember, if the building inspector comes by, it's not a room, it's a window box.
- Homer: So, Hugh. Have you heard all the latest American jokes? Uh, here's a good one. Pull my finger.
- Hugh: Yes, we have that one in England too, Mr. Simpson.
- Homer: I said, pull my finger.
- Marge: You know, Fox turned into a hard-core sex channel so gradually, I didn't even notice.
- Lisa: I'm sorry I left you alone with Homer and Bart.
- Hugh: No, no, honey. We had a fine time.
- Lisa: How did you get that gash on your forehead?
- Hugh: Oh, that was when we hid in the dumpster after the fire alarm went off in the pornographic magazine warehouse.
- Bart: Wow, Lisa. Looking at you makes me want to get married for a third time. I met a really nice exotic dancer the other night at Hugh's bachelor party.
- Lisa: Hugh didn't have a bachelor party.
- Bart: We had one in his honor. I had one in his honor. I went to a strip club.
- Homer: Lisa, Lisa! Where were you!? You missed the most incredible thing!
- Lisa: Hi, Dad.
- Homer: I ate seven pounds of fudge!
- Lisa: Wow!
- Homer: The man at the stand said it was a record!
- Lisa: Wow. What else did you do, Dad?
- Homer: I rode the teacups! Then I got a little sick and I had to sit down. But then I rode 'em again!
