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Bart's Girlfriend/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Season 6 Episode Quotes
109 "Treehouse of Horror V"
"Bart's Girlfriend"
"Lisa on Ice" 111

Bart: Hi. I'm Bart Simpson. I was incredibly moved by your reading. I don't think God's words have ever sounded so plausible.

Lisa: Don't be so hard on yourself, Bart. It's not your fault Jessica doesn't like you.
Bart: Is it my hair? My overbite? The fact that I've worn the same clothes, day in, day out, for the last four years?
Lisa: No, Bart. I just think you and Jessica are too different from each other to get along. She's a sweet, kind reverend's daughter and you're the devil's cabana boy.

Ms. Albright: Ralph, Jesus did not have wheels.

Bart: Yes Ma'am. I'd like to return to your wonderful Sunday school, please.
Ms. Albright: But Bart, we banned you from Sunday school. You were happy, we were happy, everybody was happy, particularly the hamster.

Principal Skinner: Congratulations, Simpson. You just fell for our sting and won yourself three months detention. There's no such thing as Scotchtoberfest.
Groundskeeper Willie: There's not? You used me Skinner! You used me!

Bart: There's only one thing to do at a moment like this... strut.

Bart: Well, in my family, grades aren't that important. It's what you learn that counts.
Reverend Lovejoy: Six times five, what is it?
Bart: Um, actually, numbers don't have much use in my future career. Olympic gold medal rocket sled champ.
Helen Lovejoy: Hm, I didn't know the rocket sled was an Olympic event.
Bart: Well no offense, lady, but what you don't know could fill a warehouse.

Reverend Lovejoy: Never have I heard such gratuitous use of the word "butt".
Bart: But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but...
Helen Lovejoy: Make him stop! Make him stop!

Jessica Lovejoy: You're bad, Bart Simpson.
Bart: No I'm not. I'm really...
Jessica: Yes you are. You're bad, and I like it.
Bart: I'm bad to the bone, honey.

Marge: Have you noticed any change in Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No. He looks like something might be disturbing him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I guess we could get more involved in Bart's activities. But then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: It was, Marge. Admit it.

Willie: If I don't save the wee turtles, who will?! [Willie goes to save the turtles] Agh! Save me from the wee turtles! They were too quick for me! Aah!

Lisa: You gotta give her up.
Bart: No, no, wait. Hear my plan. I put up with her for seven more years. Then, we'll get married. Once the first baby comes along, she's bound to settle down and start treatin' me right. After all, I deserve it.

Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the collection money, that's all I need.
Bart: I didn't take it.
Homer: Why you little... How can you look me in the eye and lie like that?!

Reverend Lovejoy: I guess it's obvious what's happened here. Bart Simpson has somehow managed to sneak his bedroom into my house. [silence] Well, come on! Use your imaginations.

Reverend Lovejoy: Well, young lady, I suppose we brought you home from boarding school a little prematurely.
Jessica: I was expelled, Dad. Remember the pipe bomb? The glee club brawl? Remember the school chapel collection plate? The exploding toilets ring a bell? Come on dad, pay attention to me. Hello in there... hello?
Season 6 Quotes
Bart of Darkness Lisa's Rival Another Simpsons Clip Show Itchy & Scratchy Land Sideshow Bob Roberts Treehouse of Horror V Bart's Girlfriend Lisa on Ice Homer Badman Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy Fear of Flying Homer the Great And Maggie Makes Three Bart's Comet Homie the Clown Bart vs. Australia Homer vs. Patty and Selma A Star Is Burns Lisa's Wedding Two Dozen and One Greyhounds The PTA Disbands 'Round Springfield The Springfield Connection Lemon of Troy Who Shot Mr. Burns? (Part One)