Difference between revisions of "The Golden Age of Swingers"

Latest revision as of 10:34, July 20, 2024

The Golden Age of Swingers is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Valentine's Day 2016 content update.

Dialogue[edit]

Pt. 1[edit]

After completing Valentine's Forgotten Favors Who needs a good-for-nothing son to have a good-for-something time? Jasper, remember the Coconut Babaloo? Sure do. Best hemorrhoid cream in all of Springfield. It was a nightclub. Sure was. Best nightclub in all of Springfield. Until they closed it down for no good reason... after all those unsolved stabbings. Ah, I remember it well. The wail of the jazz band, the jangle of the roulette wheel, the screams from the back alley. We could have that again! I'm afraid my stabbing days are behind me. Oh, you meant the nightclub. Message Recruit Molloy to earn double Valentine's rewards! Task: "Make Skinner Take Shelter From His Mother". The job takes place at a Kwik-E-Mart and takes 3 hours. Task: "Collect Valentine's Hearts" (x6). Principal Skinner? Normally this storm drain is where I hide from YOU! It's Mother. She's been reminiscing about past conquests a lot lately. Like Grampa's war stories? Well there certainly were a lot of sailors involved. Message Tune into this week's Simpsons to see what Springfield gets up to for Valentine's Day! Sunday 8/7 Central on FOX! Quest reward: 100 and 10 Coconut Babaloo

Pt. 2[edit]

After completing Pt. 1 The Babaloo, returned to its former glory! A nightclub of this caliber deserves a fitting opening. I'm happy to drop my pants and croon "The Old Gray Mare." TV Guide once called my act "9/8pm Central." Not to butt in, but given the season, how about making it a Valentine's Day Grand Opening? That would give me a chance to show off my senior citizen-specific candy hearts! "Don't Replace Me Like a Hip", "Widow Me Not"? These seem awfully bleak. You should see the ones I cut. Task: "Make Martin Set Up the Flower Cart". The job takes place at the Coconut Babaloo and takes 3 hours. Task: "Collect Valentine's Hearts" (x8). After starting Martin's job I couldn't help but notice you were preparing for a Valentine's shindig! Might I offer my meager assistance? Sure thing, little eunuch boy. You can set up this cart. Behold these bountiful bouquets of floral favors! How did you achieve such vibrant colors? Crushed my pills in their water. I can't feel my feet, but it was worth it. After starting to collect Valentine's Hearts Seymour, go dry the grass! You know how I feel about dew -- it's just rain too lazy to fall. Sometimes the way you treat me makes me want to give you a piece of my mind. Wah wah, why don't you write down your touchy feelings. I did. In this Valentine's card. Would you be my Valentine? After finishing the tasks Message Visit the Valentine's store to romance up your Springfield! Quest reward: 100 and 10 Lovely Flower Cart

Pt. 3[edit]

After completing Pt. 2 At this rate, by the time we finish the Babaloo we'll be dead. Or, even worse, older. Why not ask for help? People love caring for, visiting, and feeding carrots to the elderly. No wait, I'm thinking of petting zoos. Pfft, the elderly being ignored is why I turned to crime in the first place. Hmm. If I agree to help, will you teach me how to steal things? Okay. But first you have to go through the long process of losing your respect for the law. Sorry, what was that? I got distracted pouring sugar into these gas tanks. You're ready. Task: "Make Bart Steal Candy From Occupied Adults". The job takes place at the Coconut Babaloo and takes 3 hours. Task: "Collect Valentine's Hearts" (x10). Quest reward: 100 and 10 Renovated Coconut Babaloo

Pt. 4[edit]

After completing Pt. 3 A beaut! Just as I remember it. Minus the muggers, drunk bums, and ladies of the night. I don't know about the first two but I don't mind standing in for the third. Now we just need to drum up some lovely dates. Shall we do it the old fashioned way? You mean tell them we're Pinkerton agents with incriminating evidence against their husbands? Not that old fashioned! I meant having a nice ride. Task: "Make Grampa Steal Keys From the Valets". The job takes place at the Coconut Babaloo and takes 3 hours. Task: "Collect Valentine's Hearts" (x12). Hey, these are MY old car keys! Haven't seen the old girl in years. Not since gambling her away. I bet it all on red. Who knew the Commies were gonna lose the Cold War? Quest reward: 100 and 10 Starline Commander

Pt. 5[edit]

After completing Pt. 4 The Babaloo is ready, the stars are out, and we're finally together. Where have you been all these years, my chrome beauty? *honk honk* Hong Kong? You lucky jet-setter. Tell me everything. Task: "Make Grampa Rendezvous With His Car". The job takes place at the Starline Commander and takes 3 hours. Task: "Collect Valentine's Hearts" (x15). Doesn't it warm the cockles of your heart to see senior citizens dancing the night away, awash in romance? My cockles are ice cold, thank you. Old people's love should be reserved for grandkids and voting in local elections. Or for lying in hospital beds wired to machines, like God intended. Well, I think it's sweet. Love has no age requirements. Just like this club. Whiskey and coke, please! Quest reward: 100 and 10 Mona