Difference between revisions of "All Singing, All Dancing/Quotes"

Latest revision as of 12:07, August 28, 2023

Marge: We got the popcorn! Did you get Waiting to Exhale?

Homer: Well, they put us on the Waiting to Exhale waiting list, but they said don't hold yer breath.

[Homer walks into the living room.]

Lisa: Did you get Emma? Did you get Emma? Didja, didja, didja, huh?

Homer: Whoa, whoa. Calm down, little lady. Take it easy, take it easy, heh, heh. No.

Marge: What did you get?

Homer: Something very close, exactly along those lines. A Clint Eastwood-Lee Marvin shoot-'em-up Western!

[Lisa and Marge share an annoyed murmur. Bart puts a tape in the VCR.)

Bart: So prepare yourself for the bloody mayhem and unholy carnage of Joshua Logan's Paint Your Wagon.

Homer: With blood, I bet!

[Puts on tape.]

Man: Hey, that's a pretty sorry-lookin' wagon you got there, mister.

Clint Eastwood: I reckon it could use a... coat of paint.

Man: [calling out happily] Well, what are we waitin' for?

[Music starts and the man and outlaw begin dancing.]

Clint Eastwood and Man: [singing] Gonna paint our wagon. Gonna paint it good. We ain't braggin'. We're gonna coat that wood!

Homer: They're singing! They're singing, Marge! Why aren't they killing each other?

[Homer sees something on-screen.]

Homer: Wait, wait, wait! Here comes Lee Marvin! Thank God! He's always drunk and violent!

[He isn't this time.]

Marge: Who knew that Lee Marvin could do such marvelous splits?

Lisa: He's dreamy.

Homer: Oh, why did they have to screw up a perfectly serviceable wagon story with all that fruity singing?

Marge: I thought it was toe-tapping fun.

Homer: Singing is the lowest form of communication.

Marge: Homer, you sing all the time.

Homer: No I don't. I hate to rhyme.

[Music starts and the family starts to sing.]

Lisa: You like musicals... don't you, dad?

Homer: No, I don't. I think they're bad! They're fake, and phony, and totally wrong!

Bart: Wake up dad, you're singing a song!

Homer: I wouldn't, I couldn't, I hate that stuff!

Marge: Now, Homer, listen, I've had enough! In our family videos, we have plainly seen, you're a singing, dancing, entertainment machine.

Bart: [singing] Mom was right, you're singing's a sin. You're a Les Misera-blay as Lee Marvi-Ahh!

[Homer starts to strangle Bart.]

Marge: [singing] Sure, your dad singing could make your hair curl. But you, too, Bart, have sung and danced like a girl.

Bart: Eep.

Lisa: [singing] That was pretty bad, Bart, but it could have been worse. You could have been carrying a sequined purse!

Bart: [singing] I hate to dance, and prance, and sing. That's really more of a Milhouse thing!

Marge: [singing] I think you move like a young Baryshnikov!

[Snake jumps in through the window and points a shotgun at the family]

Snake: [singing] Ha, nobody move, or I'll blow your heads off!

[Snake holds the family at gunpoint.]

Marge: [singing] It's a desperate criminal, on the run from the law. Please, spare my children...

Homer: [singing] And their damp-trousered pa!

Snake: [singing] A singing family! it's worse than I feared. For hostage purposes, you're just too weird! [spoken] Bye!

[Snake jumps back in through the window.]

Snake: [singing] Because of you all, I got a tune in my head. And the only way to stop it is to make you all dead!

Homer: Ugh, I knew I should have shut that window.

Homer: [singing] All right, Marge! You've convinced me there are more terrible things than musical comedies where everyone sings!

[Lisa, Maggie and Bart form a kick line.]

Lisa: [singing] There is something worse!

Bart: [singing] And it really does blow!

Simpsons: [singing] When a long-running series does a cheesy clip show!

Snake: [singing] I'm back to commit felonious assault. Because your infernal singing just would not halt!

Marge: [spoken] Actually, we're done.

Bart: [from now on, all spoken] Done, done.

Marge: And not a moment too soon.

Snake: Oh, okay then. Well, then I got no beef with you.

[He jumps out the window.]