Difference between revisions of "Bart Gets an "F"/Quotes"
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| − | + | {{EpisodePrevNextQuo |Some Enchanted Evening|Simpson and Delilah}} | |
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| − | + | :''[Bart awakens and realizes he has not studied for his test today.]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Bart]]}} Otto man, I have a test I am so not ready for! Could you help out your pal and crash the bus? | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Otto]]}} Whoa! Sorry, Bart dude, state law prohibits me from crashing the bus on purpose. But who knows, you may get lucky and we could have an accident! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[talking to himself]'' No need to panic. Just pal up with some brain, sponge the answers, then I am back on Easy Street! | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Sherri]]}} Look! It is Bart Simpson. | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Terri]]}} I will bet he did not study for the test, and now he is trying to play up to us! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Good morning, girls! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Sherri & Terri}} ''[sweetly in unison]'' Good morning, Bart! | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Who is up for a power cram session? I will go first. What was the name of the Pilgrims' ship? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Sherri}} ''The [[Spirit of St. Louis]]''. | |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Where was their original destination? | |
| − | + | {{qf|Terri}} Sunny [[Acapulco]]. | |
| − | :''Sherri & Terri snicker to themselves as Bart is writing in a notebook'' | + | {{qf|Bart}} And why did they leave [[England]]? |
| − | + | {{qf|Sherri}} Giant rats. | |
| − | :''School bus arrives at Springfield Elementary. Students exit bus'' | + | :''[Sherri & Terri snicker to themselves as Bart is writing in a notebook.]'' |
| − | + | {{qf|Bart}} Cool, history is coming alive! | |
| − | + | :''[School bus arrives at Springfield Elementary. Students exit bus.]'' | |
| − | + | {{qf|[[Martin Prince]]}} As a natural enemy, I do not know why I am doing this, but I feel obliged to tell you that the information you just received is grossly erroneous. | |
| − | :'''Bart'''{ | + | {{qf|Bart}} Speak English, man! |
| + | {{qf|Martin}} A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth stands a better chance at passing this test than you do! | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[dejectedly]'' Thanks for the pep talk, Poindexter. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | :''[Bart's bedroom. He has feigned illness to get out of a test.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Lisa]]}} Everybody knows you are faking it. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Well, ''everybody'' had better keep their mouth shut! | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} You cannot run away from your responsibilities forever. You are bound to fail that test sooner or later. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} I got my bases covered. | ||
| + | :''[Bart picks up phone and dials [[Milhouse]].]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Milhouse, my man! How was school? I missed Lewis shooting milk out of his nose? You do not say? Listen, on the history test, what did you get for Question #1? OK, how about Question #2? | ||
| + | :''Bart is writing down Milhouse's fed answers. Scene changes to Springfield Elementary, where Bart is confidently writing on the test.'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} I think you will be pleasantly surprised. | ||
| + | :''Bart hands over test to Mrs. Krabappel, who marks it up.'' | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Edna Krabappel]]}} I cannot believe it! This is even worse than Milhouse's exam! Bart Simpson, I warned you! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | :''[Bart in class. He is stressed at contemplating the seriousness of this situation.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Dr. Pryor]]}} ''[echoing in Bart's mind]'' I am afraid my recommendation is for Bart Simpson to repeat the fourth grade. | ||
| + | {{qf|Edna Krabappel}} Class, the topic is world literature... | ||
| + | :''[Bart imagines the future, Edna Krabappel is now elderly.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Edna Krabappel {aged}}} The topic is world literature. Let us start with ''Treasure Island'' by Robert Louis Stevenson. Can anyone tell me the name of the pirate... Bart Simpson Senior? | ||
| + | :''[Bart is now a full-grown man]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart Simpson Senior}} Ah, lady, come on. My kid has the chicken pox, my wife has been nagging me for a new car and I need a root canal. So can you please cut me some slack and stop asking me for the name of that stupid pirate? | ||
| + | :''[Bart Simpson Junior (who bears an uncanny resemblance to his father at that age) is seated next to his father, and is presumably a more serious student.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart Simpson Junior}} ''[whispering]'' Long John Silver, Dad! | ||
| + | {{qf|Edna Krabappel}} I heard that, Bart Junior! I want to see both of you after class! | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart Sr & Bart Jr}} ''[in unison]'' D'OH! | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Woo hoo! A snow day! Last one out is a rotten egg! | ||
| + | :''[Bart is stopped by Lisa.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Lisa}} I heard you praying last night. You asked God to make it so that He would close the school and He did. I do not know much about the existence of God, but I do know this; He is a force more powerful than Mom and Dad put together and you owe Him big. | ||
| + | ---- | ||
| + | |||
| + | :''[Bart has had to hide himself in the basement in order to shield himself from the tempation of the fun people are having outdoors with the snow day.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[talking to himself]'' Concentrate, man! Do you want to be held back? OK, Chapter 4. The Founders decided they had enough of British oppression and decided to secede from England... | ||
| + | :''[July 4th, 1776. Bart imagines himself a member of the First Continental Congress witnessing the declaration.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Thomas Jefferson]]}} We hold these truths to be self-evident. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[talking to himself]'' We hold these truths to be self-evident. | ||
| + | {{qf|Thomas Jefferson}} That all men are created equal. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[talking to himself]'' That all men are created equal. | ||
| + | {{qf|Thomas Jefferson}} That from that equal creation they derive rights inherent and inalienable... | ||
| + | {{qf|[[John Adams]]}} Hey, look everybody! It's snowing! | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Samuel Chase]]}} In the middle of July? | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Roger Sherman]]}} It's a miracle. | ||
| + | {{qf|[[Benjamin Franklin]]}} Fellas, I've invented something fun... the sled. | ||
| + | {{qf|John Adams}} Hey, look everybody! [[John Hancock]]'s writing his name in the snow! | ||
---- | ---- | ||
| + | :''[Bart in class. Students are finishing their history tests and submit them to the teacher.]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Martin}} Later, Mrs. K. | ||
| + | {{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} Martin? OK, Bart, time is up. Hand over your test. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Mrs. Krabappel, could you please grade this right now? | ||
| + | {{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} Very well, let me get out "Old Red". | ||
| + | :''Mrs. Krabappel produces a red pen and begins marking up the test.'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} That's 59, Bart, another F. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Oh, no. I can't believe it. | ||
| + | {{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} Yes, I know, another year, oh, it's gonna be hell. | ||
| + | :''[Bart looks at the test paper and breaks down in tears]'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} Bart, what's the matter? I would think you'd be used to failing by now. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[still crying]'' No..you don't understand. I really tried this time. I really tried! This is as good as I can do, and I still failed! | ||
| + | {{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} Well, a 59 is a high F. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} Who am I kidding? I really am a failure! Now I know how [[George Washington]] felt when he surrendered Fort Necessity to the French in 1754. | ||
| + | {{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} What? | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} You know, 1754. The famous defeat to the French. | ||
| + | :''Mrs. Krabappel skims through a history textbook.'' | ||
| + | {{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} My God, Bart, you're right! | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} So? | ||
| + | {{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} You demonstrated applied knowledge! And due to the difficulty and relative obscurity of that reference, you deserve an extra point on that exam. It's only fair. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} ''[overjoyed]'' You mean I passed? | ||
| + | {{qf|Mrs. Krabappel}} Just barely. | ||
| + | {{qf|Bart}} I passed! I got a D minus! I passed!! All right! ''[Kisses Mrs. Krabappel and runs out of the school]'' I passed, I passed, I passed! I got a D minus! I passed! I got a D minus! I passed! I got a D minus! I passed, I passed, I... ''[Frowns suddenly]'' ...KISSED THE TEACHER?!! | ||
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Latest revision as of 19:31, January 3, 2024
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- [Bart awakens and realizes he has not studied for his test today.]
- Bart: Otto man, I have a test I am so not ready for! Could you help out your pal and crash the bus?
- Otto: Whoa! Sorry, Bart dude, state law prohibits me from crashing the bus on purpose. But who knows, you may get lucky and we could have an accident!
- Bart: [talking to himself] No need to panic. Just pal up with some brain, sponge the answers, then I am back on Easy Street!
- Sherri: Look! It is Bart Simpson.
- Terri: I will bet he did not study for the test, and now he is trying to play up to us!
- Bart: Good morning, girls!
- Sherri & Terri: [sweetly in unison] Good morning, Bart!
- Bart: Who is up for a power cram session? I will go first. What was the name of the Pilgrims' ship?
- Sherri: The Spirit of St. Louis.
- Bart: Where was their original destination?
- Terri: Sunny Acapulco.
- Bart: And why did they leave England?
- Sherri: Giant rats.
- [Sherri & Terri snicker to themselves as Bart is writing in a notebook.]
- Bart: Cool, history is coming alive!
- [School bus arrives at Springfield Elementary. Students exit bus.]
- Martin Prince: As a natural enemy, I do not know why I am doing this, but I feel obliged to tell you that the information you just received is grossly erroneous.
- Bart: Speak English, man!
- Martin: A blindfolded chimp with a pencil in his teeth stands a better chance at passing this test than you do!
- Bart: [dejectedly] Thanks for the pep talk, Poindexter.
- [Bart's bedroom. He has feigned illness to get out of a test.]
- Lisa: Everybody knows you are faking it.
- Bart: Well, everybody had better keep their mouth shut!
- Lisa: You cannot run away from your responsibilities forever. You are bound to fail that test sooner or later.
- Bart: I got my bases covered.
- [Bart picks up phone and dials Milhouse.]
- Bart: Milhouse, my man! How was school? I missed Lewis shooting milk out of his nose? You do not say? Listen, on the history test, what did you get for Question #1? OK, how about Question #2?
- Bart is writing down Milhouse's fed answers. Scene changes to Springfield Elementary, where Bart is confidently writing on the test.
- Bart: I think you will be pleasantly surprised.
- Bart hands over test to Mrs. Krabappel, who marks it up.
- Edna Krabappel: I cannot believe it! This is even worse than Milhouse's exam! Bart Simpson, I warned you!
- [Bart in class. He is stressed at contemplating the seriousness of this situation.]
- Dr. Pryor: [echoing in Bart's mind] I am afraid my recommendation is for Bart Simpson to repeat the fourth grade.
- Edna Krabappel: Class, the topic is world literature...
- [Bart imagines the future, Edna Krabappel is now elderly.]
- Edna Krabappel {aged:} The topic is world literature. Let us start with Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson. Can anyone tell me the name of the pirate... Bart Simpson Senior?
- [Bart is now a full-grown man]
- Bart Simpson Senior: Ah, lady, come on. My kid has the chicken pox, my wife has been nagging me for a new car and I need a root canal. So can you please cut me some slack and stop asking me for the name of that stupid pirate?
- [Bart Simpson Junior (who bears an uncanny resemblance to his father at that age) is seated next to his father, and is presumably a more serious student.]
- Bart Simpson Junior: [whispering] Long John Silver, Dad!
- Edna Krabappel: I heard that, Bart Junior! I want to see both of you after class!
- Bart Sr & Bart Jr: [in unison] D'OH!
- Bart: Woo hoo! A snow day! Last one out is a rotten egg!
- [Bart is stopped by Lisa.]
- Lisa: I heard you praying last night. You asked God to make it so that He would close the school and He did. I do not know much about the existence of God, but I do know this; He is a force more powerful than Mom and Dad put together and you owe Him big.
- [Bart has had to hide himself in the basement in order to shield himself from the tempation of the fun people are having outdoors with the snow day.]
- Bart: [talking to himself] Concentrate, man! Do you want to be held back? OK, Chapter 4. The Founders decided they had enough of British oppression and decided to secede from England...
- [July 4th, 1776. Bart imagines himself a member of the First Continental Congress witnessing the declaration.]
- Thomas Jefferson: We hold these truths to be self-evident.
- Bart: [talking to himself] We hold these truths to be self-evident.
- Thomas Jefferson: That all men are created equal.
- Bart: [talking to himself] That all men are created equal.
- Thomas Jefferson: That from that equal creation they derive rights inherent and inalienable...
- John Adams: Hey, look everybody! It's snowing!
- Samuel Chase: In the middle of July?
- Roger Sherman: It's a miracle.
- Benjamin Franklin: Fellas, I've invented something fun... the sled.
- John Adams: Hey, look everybody! John Hancock's writing his name in the snow!
- [Bart in class. Students are finishing their history tests and submit them to the teacher.]
- Martin: Later, Mrs. K.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Martin? OK, Bart, time is up. Hand over your test.
- Bart: Mrs. Krabappel, could you please grade this right now?
- Mrs. Krabappel: Very well, let me get out "Old Red".
- Mrs. Krabappel produces a red pen and begins marking up the test.
- Mrs. Krabappel: That's 59, Bart, another F.
- Bart: Oh, no. I can't believe it.
- Mrs. Krabappel: Yes, I know, another year, oh, it's gonna be hell.
- [Bart looks at the test paper and breaks down in tears]
- Mrs. Krabappel: Bart, what's the matter? I would think you'd be used to failing by now.
- Bart: [still crying] No..you don't understand. I really tried this time. I really tried! This is as good as I can do, and I still failed!
- Mrs. Krabappel: Well, a 59 is a high F.
- Bart: Who am I kidding? I really am a failure! Now I know how George Washington felt when he surrendered Fort Necessity to the French in 1754.
- Mrs. Krabappel: What?
- Bart: You know, 1754. The famous defeat to the French.
- Mrs. Krabappel skims through a history textbook.
- Mrs. Krabappel: My God, Bart, you're right!
- Bart: So?
- Mrs. Krabappel: You demonstrated applied knowledge! And due to the difficulty and relative obscurity of that reference, you deserve an extra point on that exam. It's only fair.
- Bart: [overjoyed] You mean I passed?
- Mrs. Krabappel: Just barely.
- Bart: I passed! I got a D minus! I passed!! All right! [Kisses Mrs. Krabappel and runs out of the school] I passed, I passed, I passed! I got a D minus! I passed! I got a D minus! I passed! I got a D minus! I passed, I passed, I... [Frowns suddenly] ...KISSED THE TEACHER?!!
