One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish/Quotes

Quotes

Season 2 Episode Quotes

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023

"Bart Gets Hit by a Car"

024
"One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"

"The Way We Was"

025

→

Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.

Homer: No way! Because I'm not dying!

Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.

Homer: Why, you little...

Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.

Homer: [cringing] What's after fear? What's after fear?

Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.

Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!

Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.

Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.

Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.

[Homer makes a videotape.]

Homer: This is a videotape for my daughter, Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. [making ghost noises] Woooo! Heh, heh, heh. Hope that didn't scare you. [now serious] Anyway, you're all grown up now. And unless you taped over this, you probably wanted to know what type of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, who loved his children and...

[The phone rings, interrupting Homer.]

Homer: D'oh!

[No one is home, so Homer answers the phone. As he does so, his rear end is visible to the camera and Homer is seen scratching it.]

Homer: Hello! Yes, who is this? Bart's friend Milhouse? [shouting] BART! Get your butt down here!

[Homer is in jail, after being pulled over for speeding and then getting into an argument with the cops.]

Homer: [talking to himself] Oh no, I can't call Marge, it would upset her even more on her last day with me! Oh, I know, Barney!

[Homer dials the Gumble residence, but gets an answering machine that sings "Nobody's Home" to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth.]

Homer: D'oh! Stupid novelty answering machine! [Leaving message] Thanks, Barney! I waste my one phone call from jail getting your dumb answering machine!

Barney: [in his apartment] It's Homer! [picks up phone] Don't hang up! Hey, Homer, are you in jail? Hey, look out the window!

[Homer peers out the window of his cell to see Barney right next door to the jail. Barney waves.]

Barney: Hiya, neighbor! I can see you! Why are you in jail?

Homer: No time to explain! Just come over and pay the fifty dollars to bail me out!

Barney: FIFTY BUCKS?! Whadja do, kill a judge?

[Barney gives Homer a ride home and Homer grumbles about not having time to do all the things on his list. Then he sees Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers girlwatching.]

Homer: Wait! I can still do one part of my list! Tell off boss! Barney, slow down!

Mr. Burns: [looking through binoculars] Check out the lucious pair on that redhead. [The view through the binoculars reveals that he's staring at her shoes.] That's it, baby, work those ankles!

Smithers: Ring-a-ding-ding, sir.

Homer: [shouting] Hey, Burns! EAT!! MY!! SHORTS!!

[Barney drives away at high speed while he and Homer laugh.]

Mr. Burns: What the Sam Hill was that?!

Smithers: Why, it's Homer Simpson, sir, One of the schmos from Sector 7-G.

Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? Well, first thing Monday morning call this Simpson to my office. We will see who eats whose pantaloons!

Ned: Hey, why don't you and your family come over for a barbecue tomorrow.

Homer: No, thanks.

Ned: Oh, are you sure? We've got that new propane beauty just sittin' in the backyard.

Homer: No, I don't want to.

Ned: Oh, it's just crying out to cook up some good eatin'!

Homer: Flanders! I said I didn't... [realization] Tomorrow? Sure, what the hey. I'd love to come to your barbecue, heh-heh-heh. I'll even bring the thickest, juiciest t-bones you've ever seen.

Ned: Mmm-mmm, sounds terrif.

Homer: Heheheehee... the joke's on him! I'll be dead by then!

[Everyone else is asleep.]

Homer: [in Maggie's room] Goodbye, Maggie. Stay as sweet as you are.

Homer: [in Lisa's room] Goodbye, Lisa. I know you'll make me proud.

Homer: [in Bart's room] Goodbye, Bart... I like your sheets.

← Season 1 Season 2 Quotes Season 3 →
Bart Gets an "F" • Simpson and Delilah • Treehouse of Horror • Two Cars in Every Garage and Three Eyes on Every Fish • Dancin' Homer • Dead Putting Society • Bart vs. Thanksgiving • Bart the Daredevil • Itchy & Scratchy & Marge • Bart Gets Hit by a Car • One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish • The Way We Was • Homer vs. Lisa and the 8th Commandment • Principal Charming • Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? • Bart's Dog Gets an "F" • Old Money • Brush with Greatness • Lisa's Substitute • The War of the Simpsons • Three Men and a Comic Book • Blood Feud