One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish/Quotes
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024
"One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish"
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- Dr. Hibbert: Now, a little death anxiety is normal. You can expect to go through five stages. The first is denial.
- Homer: No way! Because I'm not dying!
- Dr. Hibbert: The second is anger.
- Homer: Why, you little...
- Dr. Hibbert: After that comes fear.
- Homer: [cringing] What's after fear? What's after fear?
- Dr. Hibbert: Bargaining.
- Homer: Doc, you gotta get me out of this! I'll make it worth your while!
- Dr. Hibbert: Finally, acceptance.
- Homer: Well, we all gotta go sometime.
- Dr. Hibbert: Mr. Simpson, your progress astounds me.
- [Homer makes a videotape.]
- Homer: This is a videotape for my daughter, Maggie. Hi, Maggie! I'm speaking to you from beyond the grave. [making ghost noises] Woooo! Heh, heh, heh. Hope that didn't scare you. [now serious] Anyway, you're all grown up now. And unless you taped over this, you probably wanted to know what type of man your father was. He was a simple man, a kind man, who loved his children and...
- [The phone rings, interrupting Homer.]
- Homer: D'oh!
- [No one is home, so Homer answers the phone. As he does so, his rear end is visible to the camera and Homer is seen scratching it.]
- Homer: Hello! Yes, who is this? Bart's friend Milhouse? [shouting] BART! Get your butt down here!
- [Homer is in jail, after being pulled over for speeding and then getting into an argument with the cops.]
- Homer: [talking to himself] Oh no, I can't call Marge, it would upset her even more on her last day with me! Oh, I know, Barney!
- [Homer dials the Gumble residence, but gets an answering machine that sings "Nobody's Home" to the tune of Beethoven's Fifth.]
- Homer: D'oh! Stupid novelty answering machine! [Leaving message] Thanks, Barney! I waste my one phone call from jail getting your dumb answering machine!
- Barney: [in his apartment] It's Homer! [picks up phone] Don't hang up! Hey, Homer, are you in jail? Hey, look out the window!
- [Homer peers out the window of his cell to see Barney right next door to the jail. Barney waves.]
- Barney: Hiya, neighbor! I can see you! Why are you in jail?
- Homer: No time to explain! Just come over and pay the fifty dollars to bail me out!
- Barney: FIFTY BUCKS?! Whadja do, kill a judge?
- [Barney gives Homer a ride home and Homer grumbles about not having time to do all the things on his list. Then he sees Mr. Burns and Mr. Smithers girlwatching.]
- Homer: Wait! I can still do one part of my list! Tell off boss! Barney, slow down!
- Mr. Burns: [looking through binoculars] Check out the lucious pair on that redhead. [The view through the binoculars reveals that he's staring at her shoes.] That's it, baby, work those ankles!
- Smithers: Ring-a-ding-ding, sir.
- Homer: [shouting] Hey, Burns! EAT!! MY!! SHORTS!!
- [Barney drives away at high speed while he and Homer laugh.]
- Mr. Burns: What the Sam Hill was that?!
- Smithers: Why, it's Homer Simpson, sir, One of the schmos from Sector 7-G.
- Mr. Burns: Simpson, eh? Well, first thing Monday morning call this Simpson to my office. We will see who eats whose pantaloons!
- Ned: Hey, why don't you and your family come over for a barbecue tomorrow.
- Homer: No, thanks.
- Ned: Oh, are you sure? We've got that new propane beauty just sittin' in the backyard.
- Homer: No, I don't want to.
- Ned: Oh, it's just crying out to cook up some good eatin'!
- Homer: Flanders! I said I didn't... [realization] Tomorrow? Sure, what the hey. I'd love to come to your barbecue, heh-heh-heh. I'll even bring the thickest, juiciest t-bones you've ever seen.
- Ned: Mmm-mmm, sounds terrif.
- Homer: Heheheehee... the joke's on him! I'll be dead by then!
- [Everyone else is asleep.]
- Homer: [in Maggie's room] Goodbye, Maggie. Stay as sweet as you are.
- Homer: [in Lisa's room] Goodbye, Lisa. I know you'll make me proud.
- Homer: [in Bart's room] Goodbye, Bart... I like your sheets.
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