The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be/Quotes
Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki
"The Old Blue Mayor She Ain't What She Used to Be"
- Quimby: [Advising Marge] There's no 'mayor' in 'marriage'. There almost is. It's really close.
- Kent Brockman: This is Kent Brockman on location among the good people of Springfield.
- [Kent is behind a security glass]
- Man: Coward!
- Kent Brockman: Because today, we celebrate beautiful Skyline Park, a reclamation project built atop the ruins of the Springfield Monorail.
- Crowd: [chanting] Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. Monorail.
- Kent Brockman: No, they're not building a new monorail.
- Lenny: Why not? This one couldn't fail.
- Crowd: [chanting] Couldn't fail. Couldn't fail.
- Kent Brockman: No, we're repurposing the old monorail track into a completely new and original feature we ripped off from New York: the Springfield Skypark-Line.
- Sebastian Cobb: The monorail-- it's alive! I warned you not to...
- [Gets run over by the monorail]
- Quimby: On the positive side, with this disaster, we have surpassed Detroit and Kabul as the world's most unlucky city.
- Marge: I can't believe Mayor Quimby talking down to me like that. And by the way, women don't wear girdles anymore. We wear Spanx and other shapewear.
- Homer: [scoffs] Tell me about it. [removes some shapewear]
- Lisa: People think we've moved on, but this world is as sexist as ever.
- Homer: Thanks, Obama.
- Marge: What's so great about Quimby anyway? I could cut a ribbon. And I could make it curl nicely using the edge of the giant scissors.
- Lisa: You'd be a great mayor, Mom. You're organized, you manage the budget, and thanks to Dad, you're an expert on the court system.
- Homer: Fun fact: being a defendant gets you out of jury duty. [chuckles]
- Lisa: Mom, this is our time. Wonder Woman showed that if you're a goddess with superpowers, there's no limit to what you can do. You could be mayor!
- Homer: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. A woman prime minister, okay. Women Ghostbusters, cool. Woman head of the Federal Reserve, as far as I'm concerned, what's that? But a woman mayor?
- Bart: If Mom becomes mayor, we can get away with anything.
- Julio: Marge, this town is ready for a change. Quimby has been mayor, like, forever.
- Homer: [after Marge urges him to be more like Lisa] My boyfriend is broccoli!
- Homer: I am not a whale! I am a man with blubber, and several harpoon scars!
- Helen Lovejoy: She's completely cooked. Unlike the children she brought to the potluck.
- Rev. Lovejoy: Oh, Helen is a bitter as the lemonade she brought to the potluck. What a terrible potluck that was.
- Sideshow Mel: Why wasn't this a town hall event? I like to see them balance on the stools.