Talking Turkey

Talking Turkey

Tapped Out Quest Information Level: 5 Update: Cold Turkey Required characters: Apu, Homer Optional characters: Mendoza, Wolfcastle, Cletus, Brandine, Wiggum, See Currency-earning jobs Internal name(s): TalkingTurkey ID(s): 274001 - 274005 Previous quest(s): The Hunting Homer Next quest(s): Them's the Breaks

Talking Turkey is an event-exclusive questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Cold Turkey content update.

Dialogue

Pt. 1

After completing The Hunting Homer C'mon, Apu. You gotta help me out. You must have a turkey somewhere... I am sorry, Mr. Homer, but we've been cleaned out. But I do have a large vat of turkey chili...which is actually hamburger...which is actually sawdust. *points to rollers* How about these turkey hot dogs on the rollers? Those are the rollers. Decades of built-up grease. Why do my bad decisions always have consequences?! There is hope. You can try to get a turkey from Mendoza Tower. That's where we order our wholesale turkeys. Perhaps you can get one directly. Mendoza Tower? Senator Mendoza? The notorious drug kingpin and murderer? Yes. Thank goodness. I thought you meant Ernie Mendoza from the nuclear plant. I owe him five bucks. Task: "Collect Gravy Boats" (x155). Task: "Make Apu Finally Sell Some Turkey Chili". The job takes place at a Kwik-E-Mart, Springfield Grocery Store, Cost-Mo, Try-N-Save, Quick & Fresh, Sconewall Bakery, Swapper Jack's, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Hello, my name's Homer Simpson and I'm here to buy a turkey. Preferably, a tur-turk-turk — that's a turkey inside a turkey inside another turkey. Sit down, you dumbkopf, before you get someone killed and all of these things. What in the world are you talking abo— What the—? How did you get in here? I walked through the front door. Are you the guy I talk to about getting a turkey? That's the last time I outsource my henchmen positions to moonlighting mobsters. Hey, there was nothing about locking the door in your job listing on Craigslist. When I invite all my enemies into my headquarters to hold them for ransom, you should assume that I want the front door locked. Noted for next time. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Mendoza's Tower

Pt. 2

After completing Pt. 1 Since you've crashed my little party, Mr. Simpson, you might as well make yourself comfortable. Thank goodness. I've been on my feet for what feels like minutes! *sits down and puts his feet up* He means that he's holding you captive now. D'oh! Task: "Collect Gravy Boats" (x115). If Mendoza is owned: Task: "Make Mendoza Take Homer Captive". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Task: "Make Homer Get Captured". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Wolfcastle is owned: Task: "Make Wolfcastle Shake His Head". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. What's this all about, anyway? Ah, yes. The part where the supervillain explains his entire plan. I find it more efficient to put it in a PDF. Check your phone, I just texted it to you. *looks at phone* I can't open it. My data plan only covers emojis. Fine, I'll say it. I've gathered all my enemies that I've built up over the years and am going to hold them ransom until they meet my demands. Ohh, so that's why Rainer Wolfcastle is here. Because McBain is your nemesis, right? You know it. I hired him to entertain at my kid's birthday party and he only did one catchphrase and then left before the cake came out. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Ice Sculptures Bundle

Pt. 3

After completing Pt. 2 Cletus and Brandine? What are you doing here? Turkey laundering is one of my chief operations, and as turkey producers the Spucklers are my main competition. Thass right. We proudly sell "ButterFace" turkeys. They taste good but look like ass. And now you will sign your business over to me. As I told's you b'fore, ain't no way I's sellin' my turkey bidness...or my proprietary recipe of herbs, spices and possum meat over ta the likes a you. I'm afraid that answer is unacceptable. Brandine, do you have any final words for your husband? Don't kill my husband-brother! I need him to push start the tractor every mornin'. Plus I's think I's pregnant 'gain. You mean I's gonna be a papa ta lucky child number forty? Heck, in that case, you win, Mr. Mendoza. *signs paper* C'mon, Wolfcastle. This situation has you written all over it. Channel your inner McBain and take Mendoza down. No vay. I don't work for free. Plus I just came from my Pilates class this morning, and my glutes are killing me from all of the Dogs Going Downward and other poses of that nature. Well, I can't let my wife and children down on Thanksgiving. Because I'm already planning on doing that on Christmas and New Year's. Task: "Collect Gravy Boats" (x155). Task: "Make Homer Escape". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Wolfcastle is owned: Task: "Make Wolfcastle Complain About Soreness". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Cletus is owned: Task: "Make Cletus Sign Away His Turkey Farm". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Brandine is owned: Task: "Make Brandine Start Thinking of Names". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. This is the police. We've got the building surrounded. Release the captives and come out with your hands up. Oh no, it's the fuzz! Fuzz? Nobody says that anymore. What are you, seventy? Excuse me, Mister Millennial over here! Don't worry about the police — they'll never get in. I've left nothing to chance. Then why is the fat man escaping up those stairs over there? Why didn't you tie him up? I did! He ate the ropes. *running away* You mean that wasn't Twizzlers?! Quest reward: 100 and 10 Police Headquarters

Pt. 4

After completing Pt. 3 *talking on police radio* Is anyone there? This is Scoey. I'm a police negotiator. Did you get our care package? *talking on radio* You mean this police radio and a tuna sandwich? Hey, that tuna sandwich was my lunch! My wife put a little inspirational cartoon in there with it! Sir, can you give us your name, please? I'm Homer Simpson — scared citizen — and I'm trapped inside the building. Mr. Simpson, I'll be honest with you, the situation doesn't look good. But lucky for us, you're our man on the inside. Aw, but I want to be the man on the outside! Why can't you come in here and handle this yourselves? Whoa, that's crazy! I'm only two days away from retirement. Everyone knows that's the most dangerous time for a cop. Well I only came here for a turkey, I'm no hero. Mmmm...turkey hero. Tell you what. You help us take down Mendoza, and we'll give you the turkey we got for the department. Risking my life for a turkey? Doesn't seem like a fair trade to me. We'll throw in some cranberry sauce. It better be the canned kind that makes a "schloop" sound when it comes out. Fine. Deal! Task: "Collect Gravy Boats" (x155). Task: "Make Homer Follow Police Instructions". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Pout About His Sandwich". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Mendoza is owned: Task: "Make Mendoza Search for Homer". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Okay, I'm gonna teach you a little trick I learned at the academy. You got the bag of Pop Rox? Check. Can of Diet Buzz Cola? Check. Stick of gum? Check. Great. Now use the gum because your breath is terrible. How can you smell my breath when we're talking on the radio? I was in front of you in a line at the bank seven years ago — I remember. Chew the gum! And no bubbles! Okay, okay. Let's just get this over with. Quest reward: 100 and 10 Live-4-Ever Boat

Pt. 5

After completing Pt. 4 Mendoza, the jig is up. Let the captives go. Ahh, Mr. Simpson returns. Any last words before I send you to Fatso Heaven? Yeah. Prepare to have your world Roxed! *throws can of mixed Pop Rox and Diet Buzz Cola* He just mixed Pop Rox with Diet Buzz Cola! *Diet Buzz Cola can explodes* I thought that was just an urban myyyyyyyth! *shaking head* Ohh... What happened? What happened is that you're under arrest, "Mendodo". You see what I did there? "Mendodo"? Would "Mendoozie" be better? I'll stick with Mendodo. It sounds like "dodo". *clicks handcuffs on Mendoza* Homer, that was a fantastic one-liner you dropped just before taking down the bad guy. Can I use it in my next movie? No way. I thought you were a hero, but it turns out you're just a big sellout. That's the name of the movie: "The Big Sellout". Look, can I use the line if I give you five percent of the royalties? Sold! Out! Task: "Collect Gravy Boats" (x195). Task: "Make Homer Sign Away Rights to Wolfcastle". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Wolfcastle is owned: Task: "Make Wolfcastle Buy Homer's One-liner". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Wiggum is owned: Task: "Make Wiggum Arrest Mendoza". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. If Mendoza is owned: Task: "Make Mendoza Get Arrested". The job takes place at Mendoza's Tower, Mendoza's Mansion, Businessman's Social Club, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours. Homer, you saved the day. Sorry about that stuff about your bad breath. Ah, it's okay. Nice to see you again, Scoey! Yeah. Could you put another stick of gum in that mouth if you don't mind? Sure thing. You're all right, you know that? Put 'er there, pal. Sorry, no physical contact for me. I'm only two days away from retirement. What the heck does that have to do with shaking my hand? I'm just not taking any chances. I don't know where your hand has been! I know where it's been — on the end of my arm! C'mon, shake! No can do! *starts backing up* Scoey, look out! You're backing up into the street! Don't mind me, Chief, just playing it safe— *gets hit by ambulance* Oh no. Somebody get an ambulance! Quest reward: 100 and 10 Scoey

Currency-earning jobs

Task Character(s) Time Location(s) Reward Look for Used Gravy Boats Homer, Bart, Lisa, Marge, Grampa, Wiggum, Lou, Eddie 4h Eatery, Brown House 5, 45 Order High-end Gravy Boats Mendoza Mendoza's Mansion 8, 70

The Simpsons: Tapped Out Cold Turkey quests
The Hunting Homer • Talking Turkey • Them's the Breaks • Golden Tokens 2023 • Black Friday 2023
Mendoza	Cooking the Books
Scoey	Two Week Bogus
Buildings/Decorations	Dollars and Donuts • Hedging Your Bets • Hitting the Roof • Whale of a Good Time