| Cooking the Books
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| Tapped Out Quest Information
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Cooking the Books is a premium questline in The Simpsons: Tapped Out. It was introduced in the Cold Turkey content update. It requires Mendoza to be obtained.
Dialogue[edit]
| After tapping on Mendoza's exclamation mark
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Boss said to come and "lend you a hand", and I assume he meant literally. *opens duffel bag*
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Eech, no, I meant figurately.
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Oh man! Now what am I gonna do with this severed hand? *thoughtfully rubs his chin with severed hand*
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I told you we should have brought cannolis instead. It would have been a much better icebreaker.
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Okay, okay, just lend me a shovel an' forget about it.
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Now, do you have the merchandise?
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Perhaps. You got the money?
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Not yet. But this town looks so soft I bet I won't even need a weapon to acquire it.
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Sounds good. Just steer clear of any raccoons you see. They're a real menace in this city. They got those scary masks and everything.
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Task: "Make Mendoza Try Weaponless Crime". The job takes 4 hours.
If Louie is owned: Task: "Make Louie Watch for Raccoons". The job takes place at Mendoza's Mansion or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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Quest reward:  100 and  10
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| After tapping on Mendoza's exclamation mark
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Now that I've got an influx of cash, it's time to begin recruiting new henchmen. Any chance you're interested in joining my operation?
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Sorry, but me and Fat Tony are tight. He drove me and Frankie The Squealer to the airport.
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That is a true friend.
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Yeah — and he helped me throw that lousy snitch into the airplane propeller.
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I suppose I'll have to begin recruitment with entry-level positions.
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I'd recommend the Springfield Penitentiary. They've got some great candidates ready to start on the ground floor. And even lower. A few of them are already tunneling under the gate.
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And how do I arrange the interviews?
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Just tell them you're part of our work release program. They give you candidates for "work" if you "release" the guards some cash.
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If Legs is owned: Task: "Make Legs Vouch for Mendoza". The job takes place at Mendoza's Mansion or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
Task: "Make Mendoza Recruit Evil Henchmen". The job takes 4 hours.
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I'm impressed. This town has no shortage of hardened criminals.
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Yeah, incarceration is one of this town's most lucrative exports.
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Any particular reason why?
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Springfield has the highest prison population in the country. They need guys to make all of those "Bort" license plates.
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| Quest reward: 100 and 10
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| After tapping on Mendoza's exclamation mark
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Greetings, Mendoza. I trust my associates have been helpful?
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Most certainly. Now, shall we get onto the business of shady business?
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Whoa, whoa. Slow down, will ya? I am Italian, after all. I never talk about "this thing of ours" without a plate of "this baked ziti of ours".
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I was wondering why we were meeting at Luigi's. This seems like a very public place to discuss criminal enterprises.
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Yes, but the ziti here is to die for. Isn't that right, Luigi?
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It's a very good, yes, and there's a plenty to go around. No need to hurt any of the cooks this time.
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Yes, it would be a shame if you made the pasta too "al dente", then I will be forced to yank out their "dentes".
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That's a spicy threat.
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Task: "Make Mendoza Enjoy the Baked Ziti". The job takes place at Luigi's, Bloaters at the Squidport, Chinese Restaurant, Crouching Panda, Hidden Eggroll, Dead Lobster, Grub Shack, Tofu Bell, The Happy Sumo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
If Fat Tony is owned: Task: "Make Fat Tony Enjoy the Baked Ziti". The job takes place at Luigi's, Bloaters at the Squidport, Chinese Restaurant, Crouching Panda, Hidden Eggroll, Dead Lobster, Grub Shack, Tofu Bell, The Happy Sumo, or a Visitable Home and takes 4 hours.
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So, we are in agreement. You get the north side, while I get the south, yes?
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And in exchange, you'll have access to my international cartel.
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Which includes your tricked-out cigarette boat named after your sister who you have a creepy relationship with?
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Uhh, yes. But more importantly we control politicians and police forces around the globe.
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That's great, but when you've been around as long as I have, power starts to get old, so now I'm trying my hand at fine dining.
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Perhaps Springfield was not the best location to expand to after all...
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| Quest reward: 200 and 20
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